Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

V-Day

Posted on February 12, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Oh dear, here it comes again….another one of those MAJOR days (though not as major as some) that requires some thought about how to deal with it, and is something of a personal challenge. On Thanksgiving, we get to worry about who to spend it with, or will we be alone, or do you gather lonely friends around the table, and make it a holiday about friendship, if one has no family close at hand. And then there is Christmas so full of cheer and joy and hope for some, and lonely for others, and will it live up to our expectations….New Year’s eve and who to spend it with, if there is no special someone in your life (or several special someones—that can be dicey too!!). And then there is Valentine’s Day, » read more »

When Less is More

Posted on August 6, 2012

Hi,

I don’t know why but I was thinking today about a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago, about some of the romantic assumptions one makes in some relationships. And in just about every area of my life, I find that when I make assumptions (often based on too little information, and too few facts—and too much guesswork on my part), I am usually wrong. You really can’t project yourself into someone else’s head. Even if you think you know them well, their reasoning may be completely different from your own. The conversation I was referring to somehow came up on the subject of taking a trip with someone you’re in love with, at their invitation. The friend I was talking to and I had both made the same mistake in years past—when a man invited me on a vacation with him (and it hasn’t happened to me too often, but a couple of times), » read more »

Filed Under Relationships | 5 Comments

Emailing, Texting, Instant Messages, and More

Posted on June 11, 2012

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m of a different generation. Technology is foreign to me, and will never be second nature as a means of communication. And even I can see the benefits of it. Instead of having to find a phone to tell someone you’re late, you can send them a text, and I can respond to emails or send them, at any crazy hour for me, despite international time differences, and without having to track someone down by phone. So I get it, and without question, it’s convenient. I can communicate with anyone I need to in business, at any hour, and respond to inquiries from them about everything from titles, to jacket covers, to music for a radio ad, or editing issues with my editor. Or communicate with my kids, without intruding on them, or calling them at a bad time at work. BUT, and there is a big BUT here, I think these modern technological conveniences are severely overused, in ways I find alarming, on the spectrum of human exchanges and relationships. I am ALL for the text saying “plane landed an hour late, I won’t be home for another hour” or “traffic on bridge, will be 20 minutes late” That kind of text message can be a godsend. » read more »

On Being Both Mother and Father (of the bride)

Posted on May 21, 2012

As I mentioned to you in my last blog, we are having a wedding in the family this summer, which is a joyful event (especially since we love my daughter’s fiancé), and I’m busily planning the wedding with my daughter, and trying to attend to every detail. And I have to admit, there have been some very funny moments in doing so—-and also some immensely touching ones. Only one of my other daughters has married so far (the younger ones are still too young, by today’s standards, and even this bride is on the young side), and it’s been a while since I planned a wedding for my oldest daughter. And each bride and each wedding is different. And the thing to keep in mind is that it is her wedding, not mine. In years past, when I was young, parents commandeered the whole wedding, invited their friends, decided the style of the wedding, the food, the music, and you were lucky to have enough of your friends there to have a good time (and music that you didn’t have to be 80 years old to enjoy dancing to). Today, the bride and groom decide and run the show, which to be honest, seems right, much better, and much more fun for them (it IS their wedding!!). I had much more fun at my wedding when I married their father, than I did the first time, because we were grown up, had been previously married, and we had no parents to dictate the wedding, we ran the show. We invited our friends, chose the location and size and style of wedding we wanted, and we had a ball, and so did all our friends. » read more »

Why Not?

Posted on June 13, 2011

In July, I have a new book coming out in hardcover called “Happy Birthday”. It started out with a funny theme, about three people tuning ‘landmark ages’ on the same day. A very glamorous, beautiful woman who has a boomingly successful career and TV show, as the arbiter of taste and style in the home—she’s gorgeous and successful, but turning 60, even if she doesn’t look it. On the same day, her daughter, who owns a restaurant and works like a slave and has no love life or partner—is turning 30. » read more »

Filed Under Age, Books, Relationships | 4 Comments

The Lamb Chop Factor

Posted on May 9, 2011

My closest friend in SF, my best friend for many many years, and an incredibly wise, wonderful and often funny woman, has a terrific saying about dating. “You meet someone you think is the love of your life, and then you see him eat a lamb chop, like a cannibal, and never want to see him again.” She calls it The Lamb Chop Factor. » read more »

Filed Under Relationships | 10 Comments

The Crashing of Antlers

Posted on February 28, 2011

Hi Everybody,

Ah the subject of kids again….adult kids….again. I just thought I’d share a thought I had a while back, which occurs to me often. Someone told me the other day that when adult lions, from a year old on, meet their parents in the jungle, they no longer recognize their parents. (Now there’s a thought, no more lending the car keys, or kids home from college turning your home into a frat house for the holidays, with pizzas delivered, in vast quantities, at 2 am). » read more »

A Big Subject: Mutual Respect Between Parents and Adult Kids

Posted on January 10, 2011

I have often said that being the parent of adult kids is an art, and not always so easy to achieve. But I am beginning to think that being the adult children of one’s parents is not so easy either, and also an art.

I recently laughed with a friend about how I used to feel still 10 years old when I visited my father, as an adult, and often did and said things that I couldn’t believe I’d just done. Who said that? Sometimes I couldn’t believe it was me. They treated me like a child, and sometimes in spite of myself, and being all grown up, I acted like a child around my parents. Ugh. The friend I was talking to about it had recently » read more »

The Relationship You Have…..

Posted on December 13, 2010

Once upon a time, a long time ago, a very wise and dear friend said to me that the relationship you have with someone is the one you HAVE, not the one you wish you had, would like to build, hope to have one day, but the one you have RIGHT NOW. I think many » read more »

Expecting A Different Result

Posted on December 6, 2010

If it sounds like I’m complaining all the time, I apologize, but writing to you gives me the chance to talk about the things I care about, that hurt me, or I wish for, or I’ve learned, (or wish I hadn’t). None of us are exempt from life’s lessons, and talking about them somehow puts them into sharper focus and perspective. » read more »

Filed Under Relationships | 9 Comments

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