Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

2/13/23, Be My Valentine

Posted on February 13, 2023

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is well with you, and you’re having fun. This week is the Valentine Lottery, so to speak, hoping you get cards, flowers, dinner, chocolates, and maybe even an engagement ring!! My first big Valentine disappointment was in third grade, when I was the only girl in class who didn’t get a Valentine, but I made up for it in later years, when I got two Valentine’s Day marriage proposals. One lasted for eighteen years, and the other one for eight. that’s pretty respectable by today’s standards, and the proposals were wonderfully romantic. And so were the weddings that resulted.

I’ve had some truly inglorious years with no flowers, no chocolates and no marriage proposals (although my children always come through for me and spoil me!! And I spoil them too). There is definitely something very exciting and romantic about Valentine gifts, but some men just aren’t into it, and consider it crass commercialism and avoid the date entirely. And I’ve given and received some outrageously funny Valentine cards, refusing to take the date seriously. That is definitely one way to handle the date. The worst possible way to handle the date is to sit at home, crying. I went to mass one year on Valentine’s Day, and the priest asked all couples to stand up so we could see them, and celebrate them and congratulate them. And then he asked all the single people to stand up, and I felt as though he were saying “We want to take a good look at you losers”. Standing up there alone, with people staring me was definitely a low point in my Valentine history.

There are such strong expectations on Valentine’s Day, if no one makes any romantic moves, and no one proposes, it definitely feels like you lost the Valentine lottery. The night before my first Valentine proposal, I gave a Valentine Dance that was a huge amount of fun, I wore a terrific red dress, and everything came together and my husband proposed. I don’t even know who I would invite to a Valentine Dance to today, although I love the idea, I love to dance, and I had a lot of fun at that dance, and the proposal came as a wonderful surprise!!! today, my friends have either settled into couples long since, or have parted company with their mates, or have settled into looser, more unofficial relationships that seem to work with them, and a few claim they are happier alone. There is not quite the feeling of expectation more typical in one’s twenties or thirties. But it’s never too late, and some couples find each other late in life (sometimes even a person they went to school with and have reconnected with, once they are free again.)

Many years ago, I gave a very funny Valentine dinner. I invited a group of people, I think a dozen of them, and each one had to bring someone that they were happy to introduce to others, thought they were a nice person, but had no interest in dating them. It was a fun evening, and I think four or five new couples resulted from it. It was a creative way to meet new people!!

This year, I am trying something different. I am having lunch with five friends whom I thoroughly enjoy and love dearly, and it will be a joy to have lunch with them. Two are married, one is separated, one is widowed, one divorced, and one is in a long term relationship. It will be warm and fun to be with them, we all know each other well and are good friends, and maybe the best way to spend a special day, if romance isn’t in the air, is to spend it with friends you love. And you just never know what surprises life will have in store for you next year!!! Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, with whoever you spend it with, a child, a friend, a spouse or a lover, and have a great week!!!

all my love, Danielle

1/17/23, A Great Vintage

Posted on January 17, 2023

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is going well for you, and that you’re cozily tucked in, in the winter weather, doing whatever you like to do, read or write, or catch up on things. I always write a lot at this time of year, which is what I’m doing. I just finished a book and will start another one soon. I’m still settling in after two hectic months of travel, my dining room looked like a bomb hit it this week, with half open half unpacked suitcases. I’m finally unpacked, and writing long, long hours, catching up on work. I like staying home and writing in the cold weather, hibernating.

I seem to be the messenger of bad news these days, but I am noticing that a particularly great vintage of men and women are quietly disappearing. Some of them the people that mentored me in my youth, they were middled aged when I started writing and publishing in my teens. And now, in their 90’s, they seem to be disappearing one by one. As I’ve mentioned before, my agent of 40 years passed away in May, Mort Janklow. He was a giant in the literary world, probably one of the most famous literary agents who ever lived. The lessons he taught me, as a person and a writer were invaluable. He was unique in the world, and very famous in his own right. He was the agent for some of the biggest fiction and non-fiction writers, and almost every president who ever wrote a book in his lifetime. He was 92 when he died in May. And two weeks ago, Barbara Walters who was also a dear friend passed away at 93. Another giant, one of the most important journalists who ever lived, who changed the face of TV news and became the first female TV news anchor. And the subjects of her interviews were actors, movie stars, writers, presidents, kings and queens. She was legendary, an incredible woman. I admired her immeasurably, and loved her dearly, as I did my agent. And this weekend, my German brother in law, Carl Hahn, passed away at 96. He was one of the most famous industrialists in Europe, and maybe the world. He was the head of Volkswagen world wide for 39 years, and helped to make it famous worldwide. he was always travelling to underdeveloped countries to help them grow their economies. He founded hospitals, museums, he travelled the globe, and was an extraordinary person. Along with mourning them, and missing them, I am fascinated by these people and always have been. Carl looked 20 or 30 years younger than his age, ramrod straight, until a year or two ago, he bicycled 30 or 40 miles a day just as exercise.

I am fascinated by these people and their common traits. They’re not of my generation, they are of my parents’ and in some cases even my grandparents’ generation. And I am struck by the traits they had in common. They had incredible energy and drive, were forward thinking. They built things, they had a vision of a better world in future and acted on it. They were youthful, and timeless. While others slowly collapsed and complained about their aches and pains, they kept on tirelessly, full of energy, still changing the world into their 80’s and 90’s. they didn’t have time to get old, so they never did.. Barbara retired well into her 80’s, Mort never did by 92. Carl retired from Volkswagen at whatever age he was required to, and went on working just as hard for world causes and serving on boards around the world until his death at 96. What was it about that generation that gave them such incredible strength and energy, and such a profound desire to improve the world. Barbara changed the face of TV news, and changed it for all the women who came after her. Carl left underdeveloped countries a better place. I once had dinner with Jimmy Carter, long after he was President, and he had that same kind of drive and energy and vision, and was doing many charitable things in Africa, and he was of that same vintage.

It seems to me that that generation was dedicated to building a better world. They changed things, they invented things, they opened doors to new vistas and new horizons. My own generation wanted to have fun, They wanted to go to parties, have sexual freedom, have a good time and make big money. They wanted things to be easy. And the youngest generations now, the counter and cancel culture want to cancel what has existed until now, but they have not figured out yet what to replace it with. They want to tear down, whereas the much earlier generations wanted to build. Maybe living through the depression and a world war made them stronger and more creative and more determined to build things. The people I have met in their 90’s now are a remarkable group of people. I met a female documentary maker and writer a few years ago, an amazing woman who had survived 5 concentration camps in her teens, and the deaths of her entire family during the war. She had more energy than anyone in the room, had just won an award for one of her films, and was celebrating a new book, and she died last year at 90. That age group, and those who have survived that long are an extraordinary group of people. I am in awe of their accomplishments and feel like a sloth compared to them.

I think some of the answers are to build and not tear down just for the sake of tearing down, to improve the world for others, to have dreams and follow them, to have purpose and perseverance, and to change what is wrong in our society. It’s a tall order. And as one by one that generation quietly leave us now, they leave us their legacy , to leave the world a better place one day because of them. I am sad to see them go, we still need them and their positive energy, and I am in awe of what they leave us to do. They serve as a powerful example, their shoes are hard to fill, and they leave us to carry the torch into the future. May we prove to be equal to the tasks they left us. They are inspiring us to be better people. I hope I will be equal to a fraction of what they have done one day.

We have a lot of work ahead of us!!! Have a great week!!!

love, Danielle

1/3/22, Barbara Walters

Posted on January 3, 2023


The world has lost a remarkable woman, Barbara Walters, and I have lost a dear friend. When I wrote my first book at 19, it didn’t make me famous and it wasn’t a bestseller, but it opened doors to me to extraordinary people I would never have known otherwise, and I didn’t understand then. They saw something in me that I never saw in myself. As a teen ager and my early 20’s, they mentored me, encouraged me, protected me, taught me so much about life. My agent, Mort Janklow, who died in May, Alex Haley my mentor, and Barbara.They were giants in the world. I had no idea the huge difference they would make in my life, and that our friendships would last forever. I met Barbara when I was 21 and a nobody, and Barbara was already a huge star. She was an incredible woman, a trailblazer, a giant in a world of men. She was brilliant, courageous, kind, discreet, elegant, funny, she gave the best birthday parties in the world. She didn’t gather people, they were drawn to her like a magnet. She was HUGE, she changed the world for women, for journalists, for people, the first woman news anchor, she interviewed commoners, kings and presidents. She even interviewed me once I was famous. I was privileged that she took me under her wing and cheered me on. My last letter from her was on December 15th. My heart aches at the loss of her now. Even at 93, it is too soon. She will forever be the brightest star in the sky, and in my heart. I will cherish her memory forever.

8/22/22, Back to School!!!

Posted on August 22, 2022

Hi Everyone,

I hope these last days of summer are still giving you some fun times, as we all begin to rev our engines up for the Fall. This time of year still smells to me of new pencils, new Superman or Wonder Woman lunch boxes, new notebooks, and all the excitement of new classrooms, new teachers and old friends. September always feels like the time for new projects, and moving ahead with fresh energy.

The children I know went back to school last week, and the rest of us are getting the sand out of our shoes and putting on real clothes again. I just finished editing two books and am working on a new outline. My daughters who work in fashion are revving up their engines to start work on fashion week this week. And it’s exciting to start new projects with fresh ideas.

I enjoyed a week’s vacation in July with three of my daughters, and managed to see all of my children for a brief visit in August, but it was so wonderful to see them and be together. And now we’re all off and running to work. September is an exciting month. And I have a new book out, “The Challenge” about the daring rescue of 7 kids in their early teens lost on a dangerous mountain in Montana. It was inspired by the incredible rescue of the 13 boys in Thailand trapped in a cave, four years ago. The entire world held their breath as the rescue unfolded, completely successfully, which inspired my book. There is a new movie out about the Thai rescue, and a documentary, and I haven’t had time to watch either one, but I will. When it was happening, I was mesmerized by the complicated rescue operation and jubilant at its success. And I hope you love my book about the mountain rescue.

Since organizing a big family takes a lot of planning and military precision, I’m already thinking about the holidays, and I start my Christmas shopping in August. My family makes fun of me for it, but I love getting an early start!!!

I hope you have some fun plans for the Fall, and some exciting new projects in view. Have a great week!!!

much love,
Danielle

5/12/22, “Gone Fishing”

Posted on May 12, 2022

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you had a nice Mother’s Day, either as the recipient of your children’s attention, or as the giver of joy to your real mother, or a mother figure in your life. It’s a very special day, when one gets to show admiration and gratitude to the important women in your life—-it’s one of the few days of the year when mothers get to hear words of praise and thanks, instead of the usual laundry list of what one failed to do, or somehow managed to do wrong. I LOVE mother’s day, and my children have never disappointed me. They go all out, for which I am deeply grateful. I celebrated Mother’s Day in two cities this year, as I have for a long time,—twice as much fun!!!

 

I recently took 3 weeks “off” to visit all my children, now living in 4 cities in the US, while I’m in Paris much of the time. Until the pandemic I visited them every 3 or 4 weeks, since the pandemic and the ongoing risk of Covid, I visit them less often, but for longer and only see them every few months. They are all allegedly grown up (are any of us ever REALLY grown up?? Not always, no matter how old we are, we have our childish moments, and I do too.) But in any case, they all have lives and jobs, and some of them are recently married. And no one wants their mother hanging around at those ages, so the challenge for the mother of adult children is to keep it light, not stay too long, keep the critical comments to a minimum if at all, and don’t be a pain in the neck. I did not enjoy time with my parents at their ages. My kids are amazingly tolerant of me, and I try hard not to be a nuisance, but probably am anyway. And the criticism, if any, is mutual at those ages, they also tell me if they think the new curtains I picked are butt ugly, or if my daughters hate what I’m wearing. As I’ve often heard, motherhood is not for sissies, at any age. But for the most part it is an immense amount of joy. I am crazy about my kids.

 

To be a little more precise, when I say I took time off to visit them, in my case, it still means that I am working when I’m not with them during my visits, with conference calls with agents, and lawyers, dozens of emails I answer daily late at night, and I always have a manuscript near at hand to work on when I’m not with my kids, after I leave them after dinner,  or when they’re busy in the day time. I edit then, which is easy work to pick up and put down for an hour or two. Not like the actual writing of a book which is intense work I cant interrupt.  In fact, I take very little vacation. Usually less than 2 weeks a year, or about that. 1 week in July to be with my 5 youngest children on holiday somewhere with a beach, 5 days at Christmas at home, and about 3 days for my birthday, when all my kids come home. And my kids are VERY generous to spend a week of their vacations with me in July, a long weekend for my birthday, and Christmas week with me. And it’s very very very rare for me to take a weekend off, most of the time, I write on weekends too. I like staying busy, and filling my time, and I write a lot.

 

A comment on my Instagram caught my attention this week, which startled me. It said “It must be nice to be able to fly around all the time”. Hmm….fly around all the time? Do I? I did before Covid, but much less so now, given the risks of travel, airports, etc. And then I realized that the comment isn’t wrong. It’s not easy once children have grown up and gone, and being alone without a partner—-a double whammy. Both of my homes are full of empty bedrooms where my children used to live, and I’m happy to say I still have one daughter at home, although she leads a full busy life of her own. But I realized that the comment is true. There are more downsides than upsides to being alone, but the fact is that the only schedule I have to check is my own (and my kids if I want to visit them). If I am longing to see my children, I can get on a plane and go to see them. If one of them has a problem, I can be there as fast as air travel will allow. If I wanted to take a vacation alone, I could—though that has no appeal to me at all. I work hard, which allows me the luxury to travel, even if I have books to write and deadlines, and I work hard, and only take two weeks off a year. In France, people get five weeks of vacation a year by law, and if they have school aged children, they take school vacations too, which gives them months of vacation every year, not weeks. the French have more paid vacation than any country in the world, although I don’t. But the fact is that I don’t have to consult anyone’s schedule but my own and my kids, and my writing deadlines, and I can fly to see them when I want to. And because I work incredibly hard, I can afford to get on a plane and go when I want to. So the comment wasn’t wrong, and it is nice to fly around when you want to. There is no boss or partner to stop me or tell me I cant go. My natural innate work ethic and discipline make me feel guilty whenever I take time off—but the truth is that I’ve earned it, I deserve it. I publish 7 books a year, and I have always been a full time presence in my children’s lives. But I always feel somewhat guilty when I take “time off”, and think I should be working when I’m having fun. But yes, it is nice to be able to pick up and go whenever I want. It’s one of the advantages of being my own boss, although I am a hard taskmaster with myself, and don’t give myself a lot of free time. There is always something I think I should be doing. I’m not good at just sitting around, or even relaxing. And I love my work and my kids, so time with either one always seems well spent.

 

So “Gone Fishing” doesn’t really apply to me. And for now, I’ll stick to my two weeks of vacation per year. And the rest of the time, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, writing and visiting my kids, wherever they are, and flying around to see them. I don’t like travelling or vacationing alone. I’m not adventurous about exotic travel, and it’s not fun taking vacations alone. But yes, it IS nice being able to fly around whenever you want. and maybe one day, I’ll take more than just two weeks off per year. But not just yet!!!

 

Have a great week, doing fun things, and whatever you love to do. For now, I’ll try to take a few more days off during the year, just for fun….I’m working on it….

 

 

love, Danielle

 

1/10/22, Sidney Poitier

Posted on January 10, 2022

 

A beloved friend has passed away. I have met three or four truly extraordinary people in my lifetime, who made a life changing impact on me, and on the world. Sidney Poitier was among those few. An icon, a legend, a brilliant man, a rare soul, immensely talented, elegant of spirit, wise, gentle, powerful, his voice was mesmerizing, he lit up the world, beautiful in every way, a treasured friend, vastly admired by all who knew him. I was so lucky to know him, he was a wonderful writer, as well as a brilliant actor. So many talents in one person. So much goodness in one soul. Full of fun and mischief, dignity and gravitas, wonderful husband to Joanna, and father to his daughters, and extraordinary friend. He chose his roles carefully for the ethics he portrayed, the message he delivered. He came to San Francisco secretly once, and hid in a hotel, in order to surprise me at a gala event with an award I cherish, for my work with our foundation for the mentally ill. He led a wonderful life, left millions with the gifts of his talent, he had a noble run and lived to a great age. But there is a hole in the world today, and in my heart knowing he is gone. My children and I mourn him. He left us all infinitely richer for having known him. Godspeed, beloved friend, we will miss you

 

photo credit: Thomas J. Gibbons

1/3/22, Homage to Betty White

Posted on January 3, 2022

 

Hi Everyone,

 

A new year has begun, and I am really hopeful for 2022. 2020 absolutely sucked from March onwards. And 2021 ,as we figure out how to live with Covid, and put our lives back together again, has been kind of an up and down process, with Covid spikes, cancelled plans, businesses still precarious, and the discovery that the vaccines usually keep people from dying, but they don’t keep people from getting sick. I think most people have been incredible good sports about rolling with it, and making the best of a difficult situation, which isn’t over yet. We want it to be, and I believe we’ll get there, but we’re still wrestling with Covid. I am REALLY hoping that 2022 will see the last of it as a major threat. Hopefully, it will either burn itself out as some viruses do (like the Spanish Flu), or it will shrink from dragon size, to something more human scale, like an ordinary flu. I am betting heavily on 2022 being a good year, even a very good year. We deserve a break after a very tough two year battle.

 

And as we move forward, I want to pay tribute to a remarkable woman, a legend, an icon, and from all I hear from others, she was an extraordinary, wonderful human being. Betty White, the actress, who died last Friday, and would have turned 100 in two weeks. I only a few days ago mentioned her and how much I admire her. She worked right up until the end of her life, when others retire and disappear years earlier. She stayed front and center, and kept working, and was successful until the end. And I have always heard that she was a lovely person. She truly became an icon and a legend, as a human being, and she was a very fine actress and wonderful comedian. I loved her in the movie “The Proposal”, and other parts I saw her play on TV. (The Golden Girls was one of her best roles). She even hosted Saturday Night Live and was the oldest person ever to do so. (And she didn’t look old. She was amazingly pretty even at her age.) She had a delicious sense of timing and a wicked wink. And acting is no easy business, even less so as actors get older. She just stayed in there, right up until the end. I admire Honesty, kindness, integrity and hard work, and she won on all counts. She made me laugh hard in all her comedic roles. And there is nothing so fun and therapeutic as a good laugh!!

 

I wrote my first book at 19, and Agatha Christie was an icon and legend then, and she also kept writing wonderful books until the end of her career. I admired her greatly as I started my career. The French singer Charles Aznavour was my teen age idol, and he too, worked hard until he passed away in his high nineties a year or two ago. I saw him in concert when he was about 92, and he was as talented, amazing, and wonderful to watch and listen to as he always was. He performed for two and a half hours onstage, never took a break, and was on his feet for the entire time. You really have to admire and celebrate that kind of dedication. I truly admire hard work. I think it keeps people vital, engaged in the world, and alive. It’s also a matter of good luck to have good health. But if the body and mind allow, I enormously respect people who stay creative and hard working.

 

I hope to be one of those people one day, to go on writing forever, until the end. I’ve pretty much only done two things in my life: raise children and write. My children are well on their way now, so that leaves writing, and I don’t ever want to stop. I can’t imagine what I would do with myself if I stopped writing. I am a lousy cook, I don’t have a green thumb and have no interest in gardening, I haven’t played golf since boarding school (and only took lessons because the golf teacher was very handsome. I don’t think I ever learned to play the game). I love to play poker, but never learned to play bridge. I love doing needlepoint but couldn’t make a full time job of it. And my knitting is terrible, with holes all over the place. I used to draw, and went to design school, but had no great talent. I was never a good tennis player. Hiking bores me. So that leaves writing, and I hope to keep on writing forever, far into the future, as long as I can sit in a chair and pound on the keys of my trusty typewriter. I think I want to work forever, I just can’t imagine doing anything else, or ever stopping. I need to write, like I need to breathe air.

 

And I read recently that Betty White said she attributed her long life and good health to never eating anything green, and I’ve always said that the only thing green I like are emeralds. (I hate most green vegetables, after being forced to eat large quantities of them in my childhood. I much prefer chocolate).

 

It is a great gift to be able to make people laugh. Betty White made me laugh often and hard, and she did it so elegantly. She seemed like a lovely person, and I have always admired her from afar.

 

So I bow to Betty White for a life well lived, right to the end, which must have come swiftly, and hopefully gently, since she was giving interviews on turning 100 just last week, and on Friday she was suddenly gone, perhaps gently in her sleep.

 

Godspeed, Lovely Lady, for a life so well lived, and a graceful exit after her final bow. She gives us something to aspire to with her shining example. I can still imagine her winking at me now.

 

Have a wonderful week, and I hope this brand new year is off to a fabulous start!!!

 

love, Danielle

9/14/21, Old Friends, New Friends

Posted on September 14, 2021

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you’re doing well, the Fall is off to a good start, that the summer brought you some fun and relaxation, time to just forget all your problems and do things you enjoy, and now the kids are back in school, you’re back at work, and I hope you’re busy with some exciting projects and plans. And in many places, countries and cities, the acute phase of the Covid crisis is easing a little, due to vaccines, masks, and sensible practices that have become routine for us, and are easy to maintain.

 

In many, many cases, these long Covid months have separated us from people we love, and want to spend time with. I was separated from my children by an ocean and a continent, and the fallout and dangers of Covid 19 for fifteen very long months. With restrictions, curfews (at 6pm in Paris for a while), and lockdowns, my world and my social life dwindled to nothing, and is still very limited, in terms of who I see, and how much I go out, and only outdoor dining. Many people are still not back in their offices, and are working remotely, people have moved away from the cities where they lived and worked before the pandemic, so there seem to be fewer people in our lives. There are also fewer social activities and opportunities to meet new people with reduced social lives, but in spite of that I have been struck by renewed contracts with people I haven’t heard from in a long time, who suddenly surfaced to inquire how I am. And by sheer happenstance, I have connected with new friends who are a real gift in my life, and were totally unexpected. Unexpected romances and relationships have started in the same way too for many people. Life does go on, even if temporarily on hold and different than it was before.

 

Work, professional activities and our jobs still bring us into contact with new people, even if only on line. Particularly in the creative fields, we are all starving for contact with other humans and experiences, which we need to fuel our inspiration to create, whether it be music, art, design, or literary. Every artist, designer, or writer I have spoken to is suffering from their diminished opportunities for inspiration from a broader world. I struggle with it myself, my life is much quieter and more isolated than it was before Covid. We are all anxious for that to improve, whether creative or not, but I think people in the arts are really feeling the lack of daily stimuli.

 

The flip side of that quiet coin is that we are doing less in the world, in order to be careful and mindful of Covid. Every day requires decisions from us of what is worth the risk, and how much. It’s a movable marker that changes day by day. And I certainly see fewer people, and do fewer things outside my home now, in order to be responsible. With fewer activities, I have written more, but I also have more time to reach out to people I know, on line, or respond to people who’ve reached out to me, whom I might not have taken the time to correspond with before. But with a little more time, and hungry for that human contact, I’ve been more open to new connections, which in some cases have turned out to be a real blessing in my life, and enrich it immeasurably. It’s particularly fun to ‘meet’ other creatives, in a variety of fields. And I’ve met all of them by accident because of Covid, so the experience hasn’t been all bad, and some of my already existing friendships have deepened in the stressful war-time atmosphere that has impacted us all.

 

At the beginning of the pandemic, a museum in another country contacted me, with time on their hands too, they had gone through their archives to ‘clean house” and discovered that my grandfather had loaned them a small painting for an exhibit many years ago, which somehow got forgotten, never got returned, and was still at the museum. My grandfather had died shortly after, no one knew about the loaned painting, and they never claimed it. It wasn’t valuable, but it belonged to his heirs, which was me. They contacted me and offered to return it to me. I didn’t fall in love with the painting when they sent me a photo of it, and decided to donate it to the museum since it had already been there for years. They were very pleased and the curator who had made contact is a lovely woman, and we’ve had a wonderful correspondence that has gone on for a year. In non-covid times, I would never have taken the time to get to know her. Buried under mountains of work, meeting deadlines, travelling constantly to see my kids, I would have made a fast decision about the painting and let it go at that. Working from home, the curator had time too that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. It has been a lovely exchange now for a year, and we hope to meet one day.

 

And I did a crazy thing, during one of the lonely lockdowns in France. My favorite series cheered me late at night when I was anxious and lonely. One of them is a British show that I have loved for years. The sound of the actors’ familiar voices was comforting, alone in my apartment for 77 days. I did something I’ve never done before. I researched the woman who created it and writes the show, got her address from a friend who works in TV in London, and wrote the first fan letter I have ever written, to tell the writer how much the show has meant to me. I would NEVER have done that in normal times. But suddenly, living daily with a lot of anxiety and fear, we are more open and more vulnerable, more emotional, and aware of things we paid no attention to before. It had never occurred to me before to write to the creator of that show, although I’ve loved it for a decade and watch it faithfully. But suddenly, in the craziness of the pandemic, it seemed okay to reach out, so I did on a sudden impulse one night. Much to my astonishment, she answered me the next day, and she had been reading my books since her teens. We had a powerful mutual admiration for each other, had a million things in common, and she has become a fantastic friend, although we still haven’t met. Our birthdays are even one day apart. She writes me hysterically funny letters, and our shared view of the literary world and the world of TV has given us a lot of laughs. She is a kindred spirit, and I adore her. Wow!!! Imagine if I had never written to her. She is a huge gift in my life!!

 

And along the way, I did a collaboration with a young Irish fashion designer, whom I’ve admired for years, and presto magic a new mutual admiration was born, across miles and generations. We did a podcast together, and the collaboration was a wonderful experience!!! Right there, I had three new friends, without ever leaving my house or meeting them. And then a fourth, an artist in Germany sent me a pastel portrait of my late son Nick as a gift (because she had spare time too), which really touched my heart, and we have corresponded too. She is incredibly talented and a lovely person, and she is currently working on a project for me, that I plan to give my children at Christmas.

 

And in addition to that, an artist in San Francisco whom I have admired for years, but haven’t seen in a long time, reached out to me. I have many many of his paintings in my home, but we had lost touch. He wrote to me out of the blue, and said what a hard time he was having painting in the pandemic, and what a challenge it was to create in a vacuum, isolated from people and the world as we know it. I answered immediately and shared that it was hard for me too. (All the people in the arts who have written to me have said the same). I shared my own experiences with him by email, and the exchange helped both of us, and inspired us. I was SO happy to have heard from him, and so grateful that he’d written to me.

 

So even though we are alone more, and spend more time at home, and the pandemic has been isolating for many people, even most people,—-flowers pop up through the snow and ice, and bring spring back into our lives in the frozen winter we have lived for eighteen months. Email has certainly helped us reach out to others, this would all be a lot worse without it. (I accidentally spilled a glass of water into my computer a week ago, and I panicked at the loss of contact for 3 days. The internet is a huge blessing right now, and keeps us connected to others and the broader world.)

 

I am so grateful for these friendships that have appeared, flourished, and the old ones that have survived or been reborn. we are social animals and need other humans, but in the midst of the silence, the darkness and at times the loneliness, some wonderful friendships (and even romances) are born. And I am SOOOO grateful for that, and for the old and new friends in my life.  And I am certain that these friendships will last much longer than Covid, and be stronger than they would have been, because of it. So some good has come of the challenges of the Covid crisis after all!!!Have a wonderful week!!!

 

love, Danielle

 

6/28/21, Apologies

Posted on June 28, 2021

 

 

Hello Everyone,

 

I owe you a profound apology. For the last few weeks, time got away from me, as never before. As you know, I didn’t see any of my children for nearly 15 months while staying in France, to be as safe as possible from Covid, and living three long lockdowns where I was. As a result, I didn’t see my children, and was finally able to visit them for the last seven weeks. I was able to spend time with each of them, my children who live on the West Coast and the East Coast. I’ve been travelling now for nearly two months to see them, and spend time with them. I put just about everything else aside to do so, and I owed them that focus after being away from them for so long.

 

There was a certain degree of culture shock being back in the States, it seemed very different than when I left, right before the pandemic, and like every other country in the world, there was a sense of still recovering from an intense crisis, and nearly a year and a half of anxiety and trauma. I think it has marked us all, kind of a feeling of shock that this could happen at all. While making history, we were living it, and it takes a toll. I think I was suffering from a certain degree of Post Trauma myself, after being isolated and confined so often and for so long. It seemed safer not to travel, but one pays a high price from being away from one’s family for so long. I am relieved and proud to say that my children handled it responsibly and well.

 

It was also interesting to be in the States as cities opened and were declared no longer on emergency status. There was a feeling of jubilation and celebration that I wasn’t fully ready for yet. It seems still soon to eat at indoor restaurants, and I stuck to outdoor restaurants with open air terraces, which felt safer to me. The atmosphere was jubilant in New York, where I spent three weeks. It’s a busy crowded city in normal times and seemed even more so as the pandemic winds down. But even though the risks are dwindling, the dangerous variants are still among us, many people are not vaccinated, and it feels a little early to me to be so fast to put it behind us. I still wore a mask indoors and outdoors, and one visit to a crowded department store worried me so I left. I still want to be cautious for a while.

 

Once back in Europe, things are opening rapidly there too, though it’s not quite as free as the States, and approaching total freedom gradually, as the number of people vaccinated increases.

 

I met all of my children’s new puppies, and enjoyed visiting their busy lives. I felt like the Ghost of Christmas Past for a while, and then I adjusted. It was the greatest gift in the world to be with them again. And we will meet again for a vacation this summer. This was just a much needed prelude to that.

 

So I am very, VERY sorry that I’ve been ‘off’ for four weeks. I’m back, and I hope you’ll forgive me for being a no-show while I was catching up with my kids. I hope you’re all well, and that your lives are returning to normal too. I’ll be back at my blog again next week, and in the meantime, I have some writing to do. Have a great week!!

 

with much love, Danielle

5/31/21, Self Portraits

Posted on May 31, 2021

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, which marks the unofficial beginning of summer—although the weather has been pretty chilly in some places, but summer is summer and warm weather should be here soon. On the day to remember our lost loved ones, Memorial Day, it seems a fitting time to honor all the people who have lost their lives to Covid.

 

And on the Covid front, there seems to be good news, the numbers are down in the States and in Europe, mass vaccination finally has Covid on the run, and far fewer lives are being lost in many places (although we still mourn all the current losses in India, as they struggle with Covid). In California children all the way down to the age of 12 are being vaccinated. In France, vaccination opened up to ALL ages today, which will speed things up immeasurably. And California has started an amazing lottery to encourage California residents to get vaccinated: 10 people will win 1.5 million $ each, 30 will win $50,000., two million can win $50 gift cards, and another million people will win free beer and baseball tickets. Whatever works to encourage people to get vaccinated, so we can all be safer from the virus in future, and reach ‘herd immunity’.

 

Something struck me this week about the way we view ourselves. I have always admired people who are humble, and it seems as though the more talented and exceptional they are, the more humble they are. I’ve never much liked people who are puffed up, full of themselves, and brag about their talents and abilities, and I’ve admired greatly those who are more modest. One of the most humble men I have ever known was Alex Haley, who was a dear friend, and my mentor at the beginning of my career (the author of “Roots”). No one was warmer, kinder, more compassionate, and more humble than he. It was one of his many traits I admired greatly.

 

I was speaking this week to a man whom I love and admire, exceptionally talented, brilliantly smart, a wonderful human being, and he is so modest that he has no idea how extraordinary and unusual he is. He sees himself as an ordinary person, with nothing special to recommend him, he sees his flaws and mistakes as no one else does—-while other people with little to recommend them can’t wait to tell you how fabulous they are (and usually aren’t).

 

There is a fine line between modesty and humility, and being blind to our own virtues. I dont usually see myself as a special person. I see my flaws, my weaknesses and my failures and all the areas where I could be better, my mistakes glare at me like headlights, blinding me to all else. Long ago, I was friends with the head of my publishing house, quite an impressive very capable man much respected in the field. And he said to me, “Every day I sit in my office, at my enormous desk, and I wait for someone to walk through the door and say ‘Donny, what are you doing in this office, in that chair—-go back to where you belong immediately’. I think we all feel that way at times. In publishing circles, I am often treated as a star, people see and are sometimes impressed by my fame—–and in my own mind’s eye, I am somewhere between 15 and 35, on a ‘grown up’ day, and I see all the ineptitude, the things I can’t and dont know how to do, the awkwardness, my shyness, and I feel almost like a fraud when they treat me as a star, and I wonder when they will discover that I’m just as unsure of myself as I was at fifteen. A wise woman once said to me “Dont compare your insides to other people’s outsides”. Other people always appear to be more competent and talented than we feel.

 

It’s a good trait not to be showing off and bragging, but maybe for the more modest among us, we need to take stock occasionally, and realize and notice the things that we do well, and where we shine—instead of focusing on our flaws and beating ourselves up for what we’re not or what we dont know, or can’t do well (yet).

 

When I do interviews on TV, it always feels surreal. I try not to think of millions of viewers watching, or I’d faint on the spot. People do my hair and make-up, I’m lucky enough to be interviewed by Robin Roberts, who is a fantastic, wonderful person, on Good Morning America.  And for five minutes, I feel like a star. And then I go home, or back to a hotel where I’m staying, take off my clothes for TV, put on jeans and a sweater, call my kids, play with my dogs—-the make-up and hair look good for the rest of the day, but underneath all that I’m still me, the same person I was at 15, and 25 and 30, with the same talents, and the same ineptitudes, just as shy, and often unsure of myself, wishing I could be more, or better, or more capable in many ways. I think most of us feel that way.

 

I see your talents and beauty, and you see mine—but do we see our own? Do we ever give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done, or do we see the one mistake we made? I tend to be hard on myself, always striving to do better and be more. And maybe that’s not a bad thing, but now and then we should probably all take stock, and realize where our strengths lie, and how many things we have done well.  Fame always seems a little fraudulent to me. Without the make-up (that I could never do myself) and the perfect hair for TV, I’m still the same girl I was at fifteen, and you probably feel that way too.

 

Take stock of the many things you do really well, and I’m sure there are many!!! Recognize your talents, be proud of yourself.  And I’ll bet you have a lot to be proud of, even if you still feel like you’re just a kid and winging it most of the time. Your own personal way of ‘winging it’ may be pretty fabulous and you dont even know it!!! Hurray for you!!! You have a right to be proud of yourself, and not to be too critical and hard on yourself. And make sure you hang out with people who appreciate you, and praise you for who you really are!!! Try to see what they see in you, and you’ll get a whole new view of yourself!!

 

Have a great week, and I hope wonderful things happen for you!!!

 

 

love, Danielle

 

 

« Older Entries