Although it’s a sad subject, I cant let this date go by, without paying some kind of homage to my late son Nick. He died 14 years ago tomorrow, and it’s hard to believe it’s been that long, when he committed suicide at the age of 19. He had suffered from bi-polar disease all his life. I had first noticed it when he was 18 months old, standing in front of me in a yellow bunny suit/sleeper with feet. It was totally obvious by the time he was 4. Undeniable at 7, and finally, finally diagnosed at 15, and medicated at 16. In those days, psychiatrists refused to diagnose bi-polar until people were in their twenties, and wouldn’t medicate it until then. Getting him medication for it, and a diagnosis, at 15 and 16 was practically a miracle then. Today, children are diagnosed at 4 and 5 and medicated for it immediately. Thank God, times have changed. And maybe my voice has helped a little. I wrote a book about his life, and illness, called “His Bright Light”, it came out a year after he died. » read more »
Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (real life, not the book)
Posted on August 15, 2011
Okay, I’ll admit it. Today, as I write this, is my birthday. I never share that information publicly or even privately. I have had a hatred of birthdays (my own) for most of my life. As a child, no one made much of a fuss about it, and with a mid-August birthday, everyone was always away, so it was always a non-event, and somewhat (or even very) disappointing. (We won’t discuss the totally flattened chocolate cake my parents sent me when they sent me to camp at 5 and 6 years of age, and again later, and they thought the cake would arrive by mail safely and on time. It never did. It showed up, whenever, flat as a pancake, looking nothing like a birthday cake. So I wasn’t very old when I decided that I really didn’t like birthdays. They always disappointed me, although for several decades now, thanks to my children, they have been great. But I am leery of birthdays anyway, just on principle. Besides, now there is the age issue, which adds insult to injury. For several years now, I have been trying to convince my family to adopt a system of 2 mother’s days per year instead (the official one, and one just for me in lieu of my birthday). I may be making some headway on that one since the whole family sang “Happy Mother’s Day to youuuuuuuu” today instead of Happy You Know What. (Yerghk. The B word). And a friend sent me the perfect candles for my cake, which instead of saying the number, spelled out the words “Don’t Ask”. Perfect!!! I want those candles every year!!! (There is a far less chivalrous friend who sends me a card with my correct age on it every year. Is he kidding? Did he think I would forget??? I toss that card as fast as possible every year!!). » read more »
Filed Under Family, Kids | 20 Comments
Roman Holiday
Posted on July 25, 2011
Every year, my 5 youngest children and I take a boat trip, we did it when I was married, and have done it in the ten years since, and although it’s a stretch and a splurge, it’s worth saving all year to do it!! I am addicted to boat vacations, because they give you so much freedom. It corrals everyone on the same dates (rather than people arriving late and leaving early at a rented house), and it gives you incredible freedom. If you don’t like where you are in the morning, you can go just a few miles away to a prettier place, or change locations and plans entirely. It’s like a movable house, and you can vacation in a bunch of places. And being on a boat is probably the only place that I really relax. It feels so removed from the pressures of real life, and is a wonderful way to spend time with my children every summer, and we all love it. » read more »
Filed Under Family, Travel | 5 Comments
The Crashing of Antlers
Posted on February 28, 2011
Hi Everybody,
Ah the subject of kids again….adult kids….again. I just thought I’d share a thought I had a while back, which occurs to me often. Someone told me the other day that when adult lions, from a year old on, meet their parents in the jungle, they no longer recognize their parents. (Now there’s a thought, no more lending the car keys, or kids home from college turning your home into a frat house for the holidays, with pizzas delivered, in vast quantities, at 2 am). » read more »
Filed Under Family, Getting Along, Relationships | 9 Comments
John Traina
Posted on February 22, 2011
Since I always seem to share with you what goes on in my life, I am sharing with you now sad family news for us. My ex-husband, John Traina, father of eight of my nine children, passed away suddenly on February 1st, » read more »
Filed Under Family | 67 Comments
A Big Subject: Mutual Respect Between Parents and Adult Kids
Posted on January 10, 2011
I have often said that being the parent of adult kids is an art, and not always so easy to achieve. But I am beginning to think that being the adult children of one’s parents is not so easy either, and also an art.
I recently laughed with a friend about how I used to feel still 10 years old when I visited my father, as an adult, and often did and said things that I couldn’t believe I’d just done. Who said that? Sometimes I couldn’t believe it was me. They treated me like a child, and sometimes in spite of myself, and being all grown up, I acted like a child around my parents. Ugh. The friend I was talking to about it had recently » read more »
Filed Under Communication, Family, Kids, Relationships | 85 Comments
Giving Thanks
Posted on November 23, 2010
As you all know, I talk a lot about gratitude, and how important I think it is. And I love knowing that there is a holiday dedicated to that idea. I know, it’s about family and food, and sharing a good meal with friends, and we all fret and stress about who’s doing the cooking, do we have enough, is the turkey too dry and who will carve it, and we groan over the one guest someone invited that no one likes (but maybe really needed a place to go). Squabbles break out, children show up in ridiculous outfits, » read more »
Filed Under Family, Holidays | 8 Comments
Back to School
Posted on September 27, 2010
Although kids seem to go back to school earlier and earlier now (and in all fairness, get out earlier in the spring too), mine have not yet gone back to school, as I write this. My college kids go back to school in mid August, and those on sports teams have to go back even sooner for practice. But some of my kids » read more »
Filed Under Current Events, Family, Kids | 9 Comments
Nick
Posted on September 20, 2010
Sept 20th is the hardest day of the year for me. It is the anniversary of the worst day of my life, but a memory of one of the best people I have known and loved. It is the anniversary of the death of my son Nick, who committed suicide at 19. He was bi polar (manic depressive) all his life, and today he would have been diagnosed by the time he was 4 years old (although I suspected it when he was 2 or even younger), and then psychiatrists didn’t diagnose bi polar that early, so he wasn’t diagnosed until he was 16, three years before he died. » read more »
Filed Under Family, Kids | 30 Comments
San Francisco ‘Summer’?
Posted on August 16, 2010
I think I’ve mentioned to you before Mark Twain’s comment about San Francisco. He said that the coldest winter he ever spent was summer in San Francisco. And he wasn’t kidding. » read more »
Filed Under Family, Paris | 5 Comments