Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

7/27/15, Green Eyed Monster

Posted on July 27, 2015

Hi Everyone,
Before I share this week’s blog with you, I want to tell you how touched and totally bowled over I was by your loving and heartfelt messages about Sam Ewing. As of this moment, there are 146 messages from you about him, and you really, really touched my heart, and his wonderful mother has read them too. I can’t begin to tell you what it means to all of us. Thank you for your incredible kindness and beautiful words. With love from all of us.

And now for some more mundane thoughts!! I hope that all is well with you!!!

I hope your summer is rolling out smoothly and nicely with fun times, some relaxing days, and maybe even a great vacation you’ve been waiting all year to take. I love these summer days.

The Green Eyed Monster I’m talking about is jealousy, and I think it’s a REALLY important subject, for all of us. It is the seen and unseen evil in all of our lives, no matter who or where we are, at whatever level or stage in life. And it can wreak havoc in our lives, and often does.

I read a comment to my blog recently, from someone having trouble at work. I hear it from friends, my children at their jobs, and experience it myself every day. It may come in the form of a small snide comment from a co-worker, or even a boss, that takes you by surprise, or it may even take the form of some truly wicked planning by someone who is out to do you harm. And jealousy often comes from unexpected quarters, from someone you just can’t even imagine would be jealous of you. Some jealous people go to great lengths to hide it, others unabashedly go after you in some way. But whether hidden or overt, jealousy is one of the most corrosive, potentially dangerous elements in all of our lives. I have long since had a great “respect” for just how dangerous other people’s jealousies can be.

As a famous person, people in the outer circle of our lives see the outer trappings (all of them perfectly manicured and dressed up for your viewing pleasure) of a public person’s life. You see how handsome their children are, how big their house, how nice their clothes. You’re told how successful they are, how much fun they’re having, and shown how fabulous they supposedly are. In most cases, you don’t see how troubled one or more of their children may be, how stretched their finances, how bad their marriage (except in the tabloids), you don’t see them crying over the griefs in their life, or on a bad hair day, or with stomach flu. In a way, we are set up to be jealous of them. And they in turn, as famous people, are set up as an open target for other people’s envy—-which is a scary situation to be in. I’ve had my share of threats, and nasty jealous hate mail too, for all those reasons, and have also experienced other people’s jealousy at close range, from people I know. Jealousy almost always comes as a surprise, and it can be a powerful negative force against us.
» read more »

7/20/15, Fallen Hero

Posted on July 20, 2015

In the early morning hours of July 4, a hero emerged in an old Victorian home in Los Angeles. The hero was a man I’ve known since he was a boy, named Sam Ewing, known to his friends as Sammy.

I first met Sam in his teens, a wiry funny lively, bright boy, full of life, with a passion and gift for music. He wanted to be a writer when he grew up, and was one of my son Nick’s two very best friends. They met on the music scene when both were playing in bands as kids. Nick’s was on a track toward success, and he and Sammy became fast friends. The boys spent time together, with their other friends, always dedicated to their music, and talented writers. Sammy was always fun, funny, the two were often up to harmless mischief and thought starting food fights among their friends was great sport. They had good years together in their teens, happily chasing girls, constantly playing music. They were part of a group of close ‘guy’ friends, and were a trio of good kids, with another close friend of Nick’s named Max. The three boys were inseparable, and Sammy came on vacation with us several times with our family. As an only child, Sam thoroughly enjoyed and was welcomed into our big family, with siblings both older than Nick, and younger. Sam fit right in and was always welcome and part of the fun.

Sadly, tragedy hit their group early on. Nick’s closest childhood friends fell one by one, to accidents (one hit by a drunk driver while crossing a street in the crosswalk), Nick’s suicide at nineteen. Then their friend Max’s suicide later. One by one, like the ten little Indians, they disappeared. Sammy was 3 years older than the others, and as of three years ago, was the last survivor of the group. He turned 40 in April. And after Nick’s death, he took on the role of stand in big brother to Nick’s younger siblings, a role has continued faithfully, and was particularly kind and attentive to my youngest daughter, trying to stand in for Nick. He worked in my office for 7 years after he finished college, was much loved by all, still played music in various bands at night, and tried to start a budding career as a writer, working on a novel, and writing under the pen name of Sam Winston. He had talent, life, energy, bright ideas, friends and a mother who loved him. He began in San Francisco, and moved to LA in the last year to add new horizons to his life, and worked on the music scene, still writing.

In LA, he moved into an old Victorian house with 4 roommates. And on the night of July 3rd, an electrical fire broke out. Within seconds, the house was filled with heavy black smoke. Sam came out of the house, found himself alone on the street, waiting for the fire department to arrive, and none of his roommates came out. Overwhelmed by the smoke, his 4 roommates were dazed, as Sam saw the house begin to collapse in the flames and smoke. Without hesitating, he rushed back inside, found his roommates, and one by one carried them to safety. Two were critically burned, two less so, and one by one he got them out of the smoke and flames. A hero was born in that moment, and no one who knew Sammy is surprised. It is so typical of the good person he was. And as he got the last of them out, the fire raged even further out of control, Sam was trapped and killed. His heroic act, saving four friends cost him his life. 62 fire fighters fought the fire for an hour before bringing it under control, with one of the firemen severely injured as well. Too late for Sam. There is nothing left of the house but shock and memories, Sam’s act of heroism, and the four people he saved and sacrificed his life for. » read more »

7/6/15, I’m Fine!!!???

Posted on July 6, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a good week, and that good things are happening. School is almost out, if you’re in school, always a glorious moment, waiting for freedom all summer. Or if you have school age kids, lots to plan to keep them busy all summer!! And hopefully lots of fun things to look forward to!!!

I had a funny experience recently, a conversation with a friend, which made me think about how we react to some of the unpleasant things that happen to us. Good manners and pride lead us to minimize some of the really yucky stuff we go through, and the people around us minimize it too, perhaps to make us feel better about it, or maybe they don’t know what else to say. There is some good in that theory, because we can’t sit around moaning all the time. But you fall flat on your face (or on your hands and knees) on the sidewalk, and with bleeding knees, embarrassed beyond belief, with torn stockings, and seeing stars, you assure everyone of how “fine” you are….no, really, it’s nothing…I’m fine. Really?? When you feel like you’re about to throw up and want to crawl into a hole and put yourself back together without 14 strangers staring at you??? Your boyfriend dumps you, or you break up mutually, and everyone assures you that you’re better off, and you’ll find a MUCH better guy in no time, and it’s a blessing in disguise. (As one of my friends says, I’m looking for a blessing that’s NOT in disguise!!). You get divorced, and your heart feels like it’s in a million pieces, or you lose someone you love some other way, and you assure everyone you’re fine—because it’s too embarrassing or painful to admit that you’re sitting at home crying every night, for a while anyway, and feel like your world will never be the same again. And every one will tell you that it’s better sooner than later, and a great thing that you didn’t lose more time (possibly true, but a miserable experience nonetheless). You lose a job, and again everyone says you’ll find a much better one that uses all your hidden talents, and once again we say we’re fine—-while you’re really thinking, how the hell am I going to pay the mortgage, or the rent, and feed the kids? Dignity induces us to assure the world and ourselves that we’re “fine”, and that’s not entirely a bad thing. Because the world doesn’t come to an end, or shouldn’t, every time something bad happens, and hopefully something good will happen after that. And after the storm, the sun does come out again, and that’s a good thing to remember. But most, or many of us, rarely admit how really shaken up we are by the bad stuff, or how upset we were

I had two unpleasant experiences recently, I was let down by people I trusted profoundly. And the other was an upsetting, unnerving experience that really upset me. And in both situations, I dealt with them sensibly, and calmly, and worked hard at appearing un-upset by it, although I was. I shared both experiences with a friend recently, in a very matter of fact way, not wanting to make a big deal of it (and seem like a whiner or a sissy), and she looked at me in amazement and said “Oh my God, that’s HORRIBLE!!!!” She totally ‘got’ how upset I was, maybe even more than I did. And all of a sudden, it felt okay to admit it, and acknowledge it, and not just try to be ‘grown up’ and polite about it. (I come from a very uptight European background, where you just don’t admit how upset you are, and you deal with it quietly and politely). My friend looked at me and said “that SUCKS”, and I had to laugh….because it did suck, and it was horrible, and all of a sudden I didn’t need to reassure everyone that it was really okay, and I was “fine’. I am fine, but I was damn upset for a while. And sometimes that’s okay. We don’t ALWAYS have to be polite and tell the people closest to us that we’re fine, and what they did wasn’t really so awful. It was liberating to hear her validate my feelings and the experiences….. She was absolutely right, it sucked!!! Sometimes things that happen are horrible, and it’s okay to say that. And hearing someone I respect say that made me feel so much better. So my conclusion is that we don’t always have to say we’re “Fine” if we’re not. (And maybe the people who upset us should know how much they upset us, and be accountable for it). It’s okay not to be fine sometimes. And I suspect that admitting it when things are lousy, even if for a moment, helps us to be really fine in the end, and maybe a lot faster, if we say “this sucks” instead of “I’m fine”!!! It was an interesting insight for me!!!

love, Danielle

6/22/15, The Weaker Sex

Posted on June 22, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is going well for you, and that life is treating you well.

I had one of those Hmmm…..moments today, when I ponder one (or several) of the mysteries of life, or the differences between men and women, or I just contemplate my life and question what I think. One of the differences between men and women that I’ve always noticed, other than the obvious ones, is that you can vent to a woman friend sometimes for hours, share what’s bothering you, and she’ll listen. She may make some suggestions, or just listen, but it’s rare for a woman to impose a solution on another woman. She may tell you how she handled a similar problem, which can be helpful, or offer her thoughts, but it’s rarely done forcefully, a woman friend will remind you of the options, but most women figure that the solution is your decision. But if you tell a man your problems, in just the same way, at the end of what you tell him, he will tell you what you should do in very definite terms. I’ve rarely known a man to be tentative about his suggestions. And most men seem to believe that you are telling him, not just to get his advice or opinion, but so that he can tell you what to do. Most men seem to feel totally frustrated if they can’t suggest a positive action, and his thoughts may be relevant, but not necessarily adapted to your style. And most men also seem to feel slighted if you don’t take their advice and put their plan into action immediately, just as he outlined it. It can create some very awkward situations, where you don’t want to hurt his feelings or insult him, but his suggestion may just not be what you want to do. Most men do not seem to ‘get’ that you may just want to whine, complain, or vent for a bit, and you’re not asking anyone else to solve your problems. It can be a real dilemma between men and woman, and I’ve been in some awkward spots myself, where I really didn’t like the male advice that was offered. I thanked them for their concern, but went on to solve the problem in a way that worked for me. This may be why a lot of women talk to other women about what’s bothering them. There are no ruffled feathers or hurt feelings if you don’t take their advice, or modify it to suit you. Men are more solution-oriented but in a very male way that doesn’t always suit us, even if their advice is full of good intentions, and male solutions. (“Just tell your kids (or husband) they can’t, or should, or have to….etc.” Good luck on that. Just ‘telling’ one’s kids, or husband, or ordering them around is rarely a viable solution for us. It takes a lot more psychology and finesse than that, in my life anyway). And I know I’ve really annoyed some male friends when I didn’t take their advice and follow it immediately, just as they outlined it to me. » read more »

5/11/15, Lovable

Posted on May 11, 2015

Hi Everyone,

You know my love for and fascination with words. The words ‘love’ and ‘hope’ always resonate for me, and for most of us. But ‘lovable’ is a word I discovered later in life, and never realized the importance of it for a long time. We talk about being loved (by someone), or loving someone or something. We LOVE ice cream, chocolate, sunny days, vacations, (shoes!!), our friends, our children, and hopefully the person we are married to or dating. We tell people how LOVED they are. We talk about certain people being very LOVING. But we seldom talk about, or think about being LOVABLE. And that’s a real stumbling block for some. We want to be loved, who doesn’t—–but do we believe, truly believe, in the depths of our gut, that we are lovable? Do we believe that we are lovable, and worthy of being loved? We focus on our flaws, and sometimes our loved ones are quick to remind us what they are, we don’t do this or that right, we forget to take out the garbage, lock the front door, or walk the dog. We make a mess here and there. Some of us come from deeply critical families, whose favorite sport is tearing others apart, or comparing us unfavorably to others. Unhappy mates tell us everything that’s wrong with us, and blame us for what goes wrong in a relationship. We don’t do as well as we plan to in life, didn’t get the promotion we want, or don’t feel we are paid enough (and make less money than our sister, husband/wife, best friend or neighbour). We haven’t had a date in 6 months or a year, or our boyfriend/girlfriend dumped us, or we got divorced. And what that all adds up to is that somewhere in our heart of hearts, we feel unlovable: undeserving of the love we want and hope for and need to thrive. We secretly believe we are second rate, or tenth rate, or no rate, and everyone else seems lovable, but us. » read more »

5/4/15, “The Sun Will Shine Through Rain” (Nick Traina)

Posted on May 4, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I’m sorry I was a no show last week, I was busy writing, and am very happy with what I’ve been working on, and I hope you will be too. Writing is often where I take refuge from real life, and my own problems, it’s a world where I am comfortable, feel at ease, know how to solve the problems in the story, and sometimes when the writing soars, it is pure joy. After doing it for a long time, I still thoroughly enjoy what I do, even though it’s hard work and challenging at times, and even exhausting when I work 20 hour stretches on my old typewriter. Sometimes it’s almost like flying, as you rise above the clouds, and see things more clearly, about life, and intricate situations. And I always fall in love with the characters in the book, and they become real to me, just as they do to you. It’s probably because they do seem real to me that you feel that way too when you read the books. The characters I write about are always fictional, because it would be too limiting to base them on real people. So I’ve been having a great time writing, and I hope you like the book when you read it. (I never tell the story or the title beforehand. It’s more fun to keep it a surprise!! But I think you will love this one, as I do!!) » read more »

3/9/15, Paris Fashion Week

Posted on March 9, 2015

Hi Everyone!!!

Despite hideous, cold, snowy, awful weather in most of the US, particularly the East, it’s springtime in Paris. It’s almost embarrassing to admit it, sunny, with still a little nip in the air, but beautiful weather, and it feels like spring, with temperatures in the 60’s. And it has been challenging to get to Paris for all the buyers and editors coming from the States. One of my daughters had a 25 hour flight from LA to Paris (normally a 10 or 11 hour flight), with an emergency landing in Boston, and a stop in New York, in a blizzard, and long delays. And many flights were cancelled, while the East of the US was pummeled by snow storms and arctic temperatures—-all of which made arriving in Paris, in the sunshine, with gentle weather, seem even more magical. And it’s that wild, busy, chaotic exciting week in Paris again, with the fashion shows of all the major French designers, packed in day by day for 8 days, while fashion magazine editors, store buyers, designers, stylists, models, international press from all over the world, come to Paris to run from one location to another to see the runway shows of each French designer’s line of women’s clothing for the upcoming fall and winter season. They show the clothes 6 months in advance, so stores can order them, and the manufacturers can make them in time for the fall/winter season. (Spring summer clothes are shown in September, also 6 months in advance of when they’ll be available in stores. Fashion week is an advance look at the next season, for the entire world to observe). And if you can’t get to the shows, you can see them all, listed by designer, on style.com

» read more »

3/2/15, Robin Roberts

Posted on March 2, 2015

Hi Everyone,

If you’re in the East of the US, I hope you’re staying warm!!! After 80 degree weather in LA last week, I ‘breezed’ through New York for a few days, and it was bone chillingly cold, and felt Arctic to me. I had forgotten how cold that can be!!!

But despite the freezing weather, I had a wonderful experience in New York. Several times, I have had the privilege and pleasure of being on Good Morning America, being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Once in a while, you meet a special person, who really makes a deep impression, and you know you are in the presence of a truly lovely human being, beautiful both inside and out. And Robin Roberts is one of those rare, rare people. I knew it the first time we met on the show, beautiful, gracious, elegant in style and spirit, compassionate, wise, modest, kind, intelligent, charming, poised. There are never enough adjectives to describe her. She is one of those rare, rare interviewers who totally highlights her guest, puts a favorable spotlight on them, and does nothing to put herself forward. She makes you feel like a very, very special person, and you float away after the show with a warm glow, dazzled by her.

I was immensely relieved to see that she looks better than ever, after her illness, which she battled courageously. She looked fantastic, was adorable, and actually makes the interview fun—–which isn’t always the case for me, in fact never is with other interviewers, because I’m very shy and interviews and live TV always scare me silly. But not with Robin. With Robin, they are a treat, and actually fun to do with her. I was on the show to talk about my new book in hardcover, Prodigal Son, and we talked about it, and then talked about my career more generally, my children, fashion, and the fact that three of my daughters are fashion consultants and stylists. And they even showed two of my fashion ‘adventures’, a couple of really odd things I bought a long time ago. It gave us a good laugh. And once again, I floated off the show after talking to her, and she lit up my whole day, and I know I’ll remember the interview for a long time, as I do all the others. So many interviewers want to challenge you, put you on the spot, embarrass you, and catch you out, Robin just wants to celebrate your accomplishments and share them with her viewers, and it becomes a positive experience for all, the guest, the audience, and hopefully for Robin too. She gives so much of herself to making the guest feel comfortable and at ease, and good about themselves, and look good to the world. I can never thank her enough or the wonderful experience it is being on the show with her.

I had to be at the show at 8 am, and leave my hotel at 7:30 am to do so. I got up at 3:30 am, the hairdresser and make-up artist came to my hotel at 4 am to get me ready, and then we set out in the freezing cold to be driven to the show, where you’re given a dressing room to wait for your time to come on. I am always very, very, very nervous before the show, but once I’m on with Robin, the time flies, and it’s over before you know it. I had a busy day after that. But what a wonderful morning, and what a gift to see Robin again….I would get up even earlier to be on with her, or skip sleep entirely…..I always feel so lucky, blessed and privileged when I see her, and am a guest on the show, interviewed by her. What a very, very special human being she is!!! I wish her every happiness for all the joy she gives to so many. And I feel lucky to know her. And when you see her on Good Morning America, know that, yes, she is every bit as lovely and nice as she seems on the show—–even more so in real life!!! It is an honor to know her.

love, Danielle

12/29/14, Whew, We Made It!

Posted on December 29, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been thinking about you over the holidays, hoping that all was going well for you, and that your holidays went smoothly, and weren’t difficult, too challenging, or disappointing. I hope they were fun, even better than you hoped. And I hope that Santa was good to you!!

I had a lovely Christmas with my kids, short but very sweet. We came from as far away as 6,000 miles (me, from Paris), to be together. Three of my younger kids flew out from New York, one from Chicago, one from LA, others were already in California. With a family this size, it’s a major feat to get everyone together. And everything went according to plan. I am always particularly grateful when none of us get snowed in somewhere. Two years ago, my plane was the last flight out of Paris in a snow storm, and 2 days later, mine was the last flight out of New York in another snowstorm, before they closed the airport. But I made it home that year too. This time of year, the weather can be dicey, and with 4 of them flying in from the East Coast, I was relieved once everyone got home. And I always cut it very close, as I am with one daughter in New York every year on her birthday on December 18th, and the next day, I fly back to California for a holiday party I give. I haven’t missed it yet, but it could happen. Anyway, I made it home on time this year.

The time we actually spend ALL together has gotten very short: we were only all here for 3 days together this year, which doesn’t leave much margin for error. It doesn’t leave time to catch up if you have a bad day, miss a flight, or have a headache. But I am enormously grateful that they still all come home despite busy lives, demanding jobs, living in other cities, and significant others who are welcome to spend the holidays with us, but often need or want to be somewhere else. So I’m sure that my kids feel pulled, wanting to be home with me and their brothers and sisters, and wanting to be with their partners too. We had a lunch for Santa and little children. Another lunch for the people who work for me, which was a lot of fun. And we always have a family dinner on Christmas Eve, which is the high point of our Christmas together. We go to the same children’s mass first, in the same church where we have gone since they were born. There are lots of little children, and everyone sings Christmas carols, and then we come home for dinner. Our table used to be full with all nine kids, and my children’s father always joined us, even once we were no longer married. He was an important part of our Christmas celebrations. My three oldest married children no longer join us on Christmas Eve, and have dinner at their own homes that night, or with their in laws, so our ranks have been thinned out. Their father, and my late son Nick are no longer with us, and we feel their absence sharply that night. So that night, I have dinner with the 5 younger of my children, and their significant others when they’re around, if they have any. Santa still drops in for a visit, and everyone tells him what they want for Christmas. And at the end of dinner we play The White Elephant game (we play it at my staff Christmas luncheon too. I got a first aid kit this year and love it). It’s a funny game, everyone brings a gift, and we put them in a pile. Each person selects a gift, and you’re allowed to ‘steal’ it twice from someone else if you like it. And the gifts can get pretty outrageous. My youngest son flatly refused to give up his Chewbacca back pack last year (he swore he was going to wear it to work!!). I got a somewhat naughty Santa sweater this year at our family dinner, and managed to hang onto it, and I wore it on Christmas Day!! We had fun playing the game, played Christmas music, and enjoyed being together. And the challenge for me that night is remembering how grateful I am for my children around the table, and not thinking back to those who are no longer with us, and when our Christmas table was loud and boisterous, with many more people around it, John, Nick, and my older children. I have to force my mind to the present, and focus on now, and not remember the happy times when they were all little kids. These holidays together are precious too, and happy, even if everyone is grown up now.

On Christmas morning, we open presents and hang around together in pajamas, we have lunch around the kitchen table, eating left overs from the night before. And at 6pm, EVERYONE comes home for a Christmas night dinner, my older married kids, the younger children, and even some of their in laws, and little children. It’s a busy, loud, boisterous dinner that night, more like the old days. And I totally envied one of my daughters in law, who arrived for dinner beautifully dressed, but her feet hurt so much after countless holiday parties, so she wore her bedroom slippers: the cozy fleece lined kind—-I wanted to rip them right off her feet and put them on. She was the only woman in the room whose feet didn’t hurt, tottering in high heels, after days of celebrations!!! It was a really nice dinner, and everyone had a good time.

Christmas ended quickly this year, with all of them having pulls in their own life now. My youngest married daughter wanted to be at home with us, but her husband didn’t come, so she left at 5am on Christmas morning, to fly back to New York, and have Christmas dinner with him. She managed to keep everyone happy, him, and the family, and sacrificed herself getting up at 4am on Christmas Day and spending the day on the plane. Another daughter left at 6am the day after Christmas, to join her boyfriend and his family on a trip. So it was a beautiful holiday, but the time together was short. They used to spend a week or two at home over Christmas, and we had the luxury of time together. Now, it was all over in three days. But they were three wonderful days. I can’t complain when they make such a huge effort to get home at all, and it was wonderful to be together. As one of my friends reminds me regularly when I think or talk about the past. “That was then, this is now”. And she’s right. And now was wonderful this year, even if the time we spend together is short. They make a huge effort to be here at all.

I got lovely presents from all of them, and tried hard to find things they like. The girls love to get clothes, and with three of them working in fashion, it is REALLY hard to find things that the designers they work for didn’t design, they didn’t design themselves, or haven’t seen for 6 to 9 months before they appeared in the stores. But I think everyone was happy with what they got. I always love the sentimental stuff, a pillow with “Momma” embroidered on it, and a little gold bracelet with “Momma” on it, a wonderful carved book from one son, (a box made of typewriter keys!!), a beautiful bracelet from two daughters who teamed up, and a delicate ring that spells out the word “Mom”, and shoes are always a winner with me, and I got some great ones!! (pink suede flats, red high heels, black flats with sparkles on them, sandals with wooden soles for the summer, ‘camouflage’ flats—-I love shoes and they all know it!!!). And I got a beautiful little portrait of my little blue gray Chihuahua, “Blue”, who is Minnie’s baby sister. (I already have a lovely portrait of Minnie!!)

So we made it through, it was a lovely, warm, loving holiday. We will always remember those who are no longer here, and feel their absence. But the good times buoy our spirits and outweigh the losses…..and as my friend says, That was Then, this is Now. And it was a lovely Christmas this year, they were home for a few days, and I cherish my time with them. I hope your holidays were good too….and they are behind us now. We can look ahead to the New Year. And for the first time ever, I’ve decided not to do anything on New Year’s Eve. I don’t like going out that night, my children are all busy or away. None of the invitations I got felt right, many of my close friends are away. So I’m going spend it at my typewriter, and work right through. It feels like the perfect way to spend New Year’s Eve this year…..writing!!! Have a wonderful New Year’s Eve, and be careful if you’re driving or on the road. And I wish you a fantastic new year, of health, peace, prosperity and happiness. May all your wishes and dreams come true in the new year!! (and mine too!!)

I send you all my love, Danielle

12/15/14, Busy Days

Posted on December 15, 2014

Hi Everyone,

It’s less than two weeks before Christmas, and I’ve definitely been busy on the holiday circuit, and with holiday activities, and it has been fun. It’s a nice time of year to spend time with people you care about and enjoy, not just the ‘have to go to’ parties or the ‘think I should’s’. I weeded those out a few years ago, so I get to spend time with people I really consider friends.

This week was a bit of a whirlwind. On Monday I gave a lunch for my women friends, we see each other pretty regularly, so there wasn’t a lot of ‘catch up’ to do, just talking about our plans for the holidays, our families, and latest news, and taking time out from the rush to enjoy each other and have a civilized lunch. There were 7 of us at lunch, since five others couldn’t make it. Almost all of us work, and several of them still have young school age kids at home, and those activities take precedence, for all of us. Or work obligations. It was really fun to have lunch, and to discover that one of the group is having a baby, her fourth, which is brave of her, since she has a big career as an attorney, and a cardiologist husband, and 3 older children, so she has a very full life, but is very excited about this baby. And we were all thrilled for her!! They don’t have baby showers in France, that’s an American tradition, but I’m going to have one for her before the baby comes.

On Tuesday, I had lunch with one of my closest friends, which we do often, to discuss whatever is happening in our lives and enjoy each other’s company. He’s a male best friend, so we also give each other the benefit of the opposite sex perspective on situations, and that can be very helpful at times!! We always have a wonderful time together! And that night, I was invited to an interesting dinner given by American friends, an ex-Ambassador and his wife. And they invited me and a friend to meet the new American Ambassador to France, who is a charming woman. The ambassadorial post in France is not given to a career diplomat, but always to a major supporter of the current president, so it brings some very interesting people to the job, which is an appointment by the President. It was a fun evening and a small dinner of about 10 people, so a good chance to talk to her.

On Wednesday, I had lunch with my co-producers of the song album I wrote the lyrics for last year. And it was nice to catch up with them, and that’s a whole different milieu, since music was very new to me, and not my usual professional world.

On Thursday (which is Saint Danielle Day in France, my saint’s day. Saint Danielle!!), I gave my Christmas party, with 30 good friends, it was what the French call a ‘dining cocktail party’, officially it’s a cocktail party, but that tells people that there will be enough food passed around, or set up on a table that you won’t starve to death if you decide to stay. And in France, all parties go longer, so people will come to a cocktail party and stay til 1 or 1:30 am, which is what happened. It was the group of my social circle in France, and we really had a nice time together, particularly because everyone knows each other well. It was fun!!

And on Friday, I had lunch with a women’s group (of 5 women) that I belong to, and we meet once a month, usually for dinner, but everyone is so busy right now that we met for lunch. And that was really fun too. We all gave each other small gifts, one of them gave me some ‘lotto’ tickets, and I won $10.00 !!!! And Friday night, I went to a Shabbat dinner at the friends who are having the baby. They have a Friday night dinner every week, where friends come for dinner, and stay for long conversations. The food is plentiful, the discussions interesting, the people varied, and their children and their children’s friends come to dinner too. It’s a warm family gathering that everyone enjoys, and I love being invited to their Friday night dinners, with the lighting of the candles, the opening prayer, the traditions, and the lively atmosphere after the formalities. It’s always a special evening to be with them and their friends.

And today, I stayed home to work, and started packing to leave. Tomorrow, my God daughter and her family are coming to dinner. She is four years old, incredibly adorable and irresistible, and we’ll all open presents under my Christmas tree. It has been a thrill to give the little girls I know my new children’s book, “Pretty Minnie in Paris!”, which has wonderful illustrations, and even glitter on the cover, and so far they have all loved it (and so have some of my grown up friends!!) It’s about a little teacup Chihuahua who lives in Paris, and loves to wear pretty clothes. And the illustrations by Kristi Valiant are fabulous!!!

So this week has been all pre-Christmas events, all of which I’ve enjoyed. And last weekend I stayed home to wrap presents—which I am terrible at, and they all look like someone was blindfolded while they did it. Wrapping presents is not my strong suit!!
And before I leave Paris, I’ll have lunch with another good friend, and on my last night here before the holidays, two friends are coming to dinner.

Next week, once I leave Paris, I’m going to spend a day with one of my daughters to celebrate her birthday and have dinner with her and her friends, on the way home. I have a business meeting too, and then back to California for all our family Christmas traditions, and a chance to see some friends too. And I give a lunch every year with Santa present for all the really little children I know. I’ve been doing that since my own children were that small.

So, as you can see, I’ve been caught up in the whirl of Christmas, still doing a lot of shopping, seeing a lot of friends, and still managing have time to work, on a new book outline, some re-writes, and editing a set of ‘galleys’, which is the last stage in “book production”, my last chance to make corrections before a book goes to the printer and is turned into an actual book.
I do love the busy-ness of Christmas, the chance to see friends I love, the excitement of finding just the right gift for someone and hoping they’ll be excited about it, and the quiet moments when you think about what it all means, and inevitably, you think of the people who were part of your Christmas and no longer are, like my late son Nick. There are always some very nostalgic bittersweet moments to the season, but on the whole, happiness prevails.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. I hope your Christmas is off to a good start, and even if it falls short in some way, or the people you love aren’t around, it is a finite number of days, and you know it will be over soon. Before it is, I hope you have some wonderful days and evenings, and some special moments with loved ones and friends.

I am thinking of you, and send you much love, on holidays, and at any other time.

all my love, danielle

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