Archive for the ‘Communication’ Category

Peeve

Posted on June 17, 2013

Hi Everyone,

I’m in the process of ‘freshening up’ my website, putting some new things on it, bringing it up to date, changing some of the photos, and trying to keep it interesting for you. It takes a little time to do it, but we’re working on it.

In the process, I read some of the articles we have on the website to make sure that they’re still of interest and relevant to what I’m doing, and something struck me as I read them. As I read one after the other, I kept thinking “Who are they talking about?” Some of them seemed so unrelated to who I am. I’ve never been a big fan of doing interviews, and I am a very private person. When my kids were younger, I gave none at all, in order to maintain our privacy, and theirs. But the world has changed since then, and with the Internet and social media, there is so much more information out there, and people expect to know more about you. It no longer seems appropriate to be quite so retiring in today’s world, so I don’t do a lot of interviews, but I do some. But as I read through the articles today, it struck me, as it has before, that in so many cases, interviewers come to an interview with a fully formed idea about you, without ever having met you and talked to you before. Some are able to adjust their preconceived ideas once they meet you, but many can’t. And there is so much information ‘out there’ now, that it all seems to be more about volume than accuracy. People don’t seem to care what’s true or not. And as I read about myself in the articles, I was startled to read again impressions about me that aren’t who I really am, and ‘facts’ that simply aren’t. In some cases, they later retracted what they said and corrected it. But how do some interviewers get it so wrong? How closely do they listen? And what do they hear when I talk? It makes you wonder what kind of impression you make. Inevitably, as a publicly known person, people have preconceived ideas about you, but few people/interviewers seem willing to admit it when they’re wrong.

In reading about myself tonight, among the many things said, it referred several times to my liking to drink wine, and quoting me as saying that I do. When the truth is that I come from a family of non-drinkers, who just never liked to drink. My grandparents and father didn’t drink (although they owned a brewery in Germany), they just didn’t like the taste. And for some reason, I never have either. Alcohol always made me feel sick, so at about 17, I decided that it wasn’t for me. I don’t care if others drink, but I just don’t like the taste or the effect, so I never drink alcohol, and two of my children don’t either. It’s just a personal preference, not a philosophy. But it makes it all the more surprising when an interviewer says I like to drink wine. Nope. Another interviewer says I love to buy old books, wine, and garden furniture. It’s not important, but again inaccurate. I don’t buy old books, wine, and I can’t remember the last time I bought garden furniture, I think about 25 years ago, when I bought my house, and it’s still rusting quietly in the backyard (I guess I should buy garden furniture!!! Maybe that was a hint!!!). And another article says I’ve sold my couture clothes, also not true. I’m lucky in that because I know some of the designers, I have at times been able to buy samples, and I’m a sample size (except that I’m about a foot shorter than most of the models!!), but I save them all for my daughters, in case they want them one day, and have sold none of them. They’re unimportant details, but warning flags of bigger inaccuracies and false impressions. And each suggestion is to form a picture of who I am. And how accurate is that image going to be, if some of the basic facts are wrong? I always find it discouraging.

There was one very wonderful article written last year, by Catherine Bigelow, in the San Francisco Chronicle, about my work with the homeless for eleven years, and the book I wrote about it, “A Gift of Hope”. The article was an amazingly generous piece and touched me greatly, and it was impressively accurate. But articles like that are rare. So I guess if you deal with the press and give interviews, you have to be a good sport about it, live with what they say about you, and hope that they get it right, or not too wrong!!!

love, danielle

Filed Under Communication, Kids | 7 Comments

Textomania

Posted on April 23, 2013

Hi Everyone,

I went to the dentist today, and rode up to the 25th floor in a crowded elevator in a busy Medical-Dental Building, and although texting is part of our everyday life now, and very convenient at times, I looked around the elevator, and realized that of the ten or so people in it with me, I was the only one not texting. Everyone was staring intently at their cell phones and texting away. Two missed their floors, no one made eye contact, and not a word was spoken. I’m not normally chatty to strangers in elevators, but often people exchange a nod, a smile, or occasionally even a “have a nice day”. But this time, there was only texting. » read more »

Filed Under Communication | 19 Comments

A Big Subject: Mutual Respect Between Parents and Adult Kids

Posted on January 10, 2011

I have often said that being the parent of adult kids is an art, and not always so easy to achieve. But I am beginning to think that being the adult children of one’s parents is not so easy either, and also an art.

I recently laughed with a friend about how I used to feel still 10 years old when I visited my father, as an adult, and often did and said things that I couldn’t believe I’d just done. Who said that? Sometimes I couldn’t believe it was me. They treated me like a child, and sometimes in spite of myself, and being all grown up, I acted like a child around my parents. Ugh. The friend I was talking to about it had recently » read more »

David and Goliath

Posted on September 13, 2010

Do you ever feel like David facing Goliath?? I sure do. At some times more than others. I think that falls under the heading of “Injustice”, sometimes unfair situations happen, and we have no choice but to fight for the truth, to get some sense of justice in a situation. I am reminded too of a French movie star when I was a kid. His name was Jean Marais, and he dressed like Robin Hood in his films, (in tights) and was always swinging off a chandelier, brandishing a sword, and fighting off 52 attackers. And of course he always won, lucky guy. But sometimes I feel like I’m facing the 52 attackers, have no sword, would be terrified to swing off a chandelier, and I would look ridiculous in the costumes he wore. » read more »

Filed Under Communication | 7 Comments

Honesty, Integrity, and Honor

Posted on August 2, 2010

Heavy subjects, huh? And I was trying to figure out how to express what I am thinking about those issues, without sounding unduly cranky. But I have been thinking about those subjects for several days.

As I mentioned to you recently, I discovered about a year and a half ago that I had been embezzled, which was a shocking and deeply upsetting experience for me. The person » read more »

Life as an Object, and the Green Eyed Monster

Posted on May 17, 2010

I read a quote of Marilyn Monroe’s once that really struck a chord with me. She said that being famous is experiencing “Life as an Object”. And it struck me as so true. There are of course benefits to being famous, if you’re successful, can support your family, people give you good service in restaurants and allegedly treat you well. There are undeniable advantages, but also downsides that people don’t think about, everything from kidnapping threats, to hate mail, and random insults from strangers, who are inexplicably angry that you’re famous. » read more »

Checking in…

Posted on April 28, 2010

Hi Everyone!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in a couple weeks.  I’ve been so busy, buried in writing a new book, but I promise I’ll have a new post to share with all of you very soon!!!  Thanks for all the support!!!

Love, Danielle

“Aaahhhh”…not “Ohhhhh”!

Posted on April 16, 2009

I was talking to a friend today, and remembered a silly story, that was a good reminder about life. » read more »

Filed Under Communication | 10 Comments

Kind, Tenderhearted, Forgiving

Posted on February 6, 2009

Although I’m sure we all agree that religion is a very personal thing, I will share with you that I often read from the Bible when I go to bed at night. My days are long and stressful, and with many kids, a big career, and a lot of obligations and responsibilities, I ‘multi-task’ and juggle about a million balls from the time I wake up until I go to bed at the end of my (often 20 hour) day. And I need to kind of de-stress before I go to sleep. Reading religious articles that inspire me, or reading from the Bible really does it for me. It gives me back some perspective, and makes me feel that I am not carrying the whole world on my shoulders alone. And whatever one’s beliefs, there are some great reminders in the Bible, that apply to our dealings with other people, how we treat them, and expect to be treated in return. As I said, it works for me. » read more »

Filed Under Communication | 18 Comments

Integrity

Posted on January 28, 2009

Recently, in one of those introspective moments where you question what you think, and your views about life, I thought about the things that I think are essential in life. Love certainly, hope, good health for sure, and it occurred to me that forgiveness is also essential, the ability to forgive others (and not carry bitterness or anger or resentment with you—-SUCH heavy burdens!!), and the blessing of being forgiven our mistakes is nice too. But one thing leapt out at me on my ‘can’t do without’ list: integrity. Yeah, sure, we say, of course, obviously. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Integrity isn’t always so obvious to others, and not always the obvious choice. I’ve learned that the hard way. And integrity isn’t a ‘whatever’, it is absolutely essential to the quality of our lives, our dealings with others, it is a basic expectation and need, like air. I think people have it or they don’t, and it has been a hard lesson for me to discover that some people we assume have integrity, actually don’t. Their morality, values, and sense of integrity may be completely different from our own, or even minimum standards that apply to us all. It’s a huge shock to discover that. I think it has to be woven into the fiber of our beings, it has to be an automatic, like breathing, not something we put on and take off like a hat. » read more »

Filed Under Communication | 4 Comments