Archive for the ‘Communication’ Category

2/3/20, Writing

Posted on February 3, 2020

Hi Everyone,

I hope you’re doing well, feeling well, happy and busy, and that things are happening in your life as you wish!!!

I’ve been working really hard on a new book, a historical novel this time. They are a HUGE amount of work, first gathering the research before I start, so the setting and the times and events are accurate, and to establish the history right from the beginning. Then writing the fictional story set in those times, and weaving the history into it, always the right amount of both. And then after that, more detailed historical research to fill in any holes. And after that, many re-writes. I do at least 3 re-writes on every book, at different stages of the book, sometimes more. It all happens in about a span of two years, or a little more, until the book is ready to be printed and is complete. I don’t like having a span of two years between books, so I am always working on several at once, in different stages. And sometimes the ‘stages’ are quite spread out, so I have time to write another book in first draft between those stages. The system seems to work and is a major juggling act, and it allows me to publish as many books as I do.

 

The historical novels are a lot more work than the others, getting the history and the mood and feeling of the times right. It’s like travelling back in time, whenever I do it, and I need to isolate myself even more for the historical novels, so I’m not distracted by modern times. I have a researcher who helps me gather the information, and then I decide how much of it to use, and what events work best with the story. Writing a historical novel teaches me a lot of new things, just as reading it will do for the reader—-learning about events and people at another time in history. And I often use real people, and songs and books and movies as well as events, to give substance to the time I’ve set it in. I don’t go tooooo far back in history (like Greek or Roman times) or too many centuries back, because then the times are too foreign to us now, and are harder to relate to. A century or two are about as far back as I ever go, or at a time when the challenges in human relations are very similar to what we’re living now.

 

Someone commenting on my Instagram said that they really miss the characters when the book ends. So do I. The characters become so real to me, I work so carefully to build them and make them come to life, that I fall in love with them too (or hate them!!! for the mean ones). And I feel lost for a few days or a week after I finish, as though all my friends have moved away, and I can’t be part of their lives anymore. I’m always happy to find them again when I come back to the book for another re-write. And once the book is absolutely finished, re-written many times, and ready for the book to be printed—-after that, I never read them again.

 

Writing a book is like having a lot of imaginary friends. By the end of the first chapter I love them and they are real to me. And by the end of the book, I know them really well and what they would or wouldn’t do. Sometimes they have a mind of their own!!!! And they refuse to do what I want them to!!! But eventually, I get a good grip on it, whether a historical or a contemporary book. It’s an incredible joy when it goes well, and I feel so lucky to have a job I love. And thank you for reading them, after all of that hard work!!! You make it all worthwhile for me. The nights are long and the days are hard, and the elation and sense of accomplishment when you finish a book is tremendous!!!

 

I can’t write to you today, without at least mentioning the tragic accident which took the life of Famous Basketball Star Kobe Bryant and his young daughter Gianna, along with another family, and several other people, including children. I ache at knowing Kobe’s widow’s grief to have lost a husband AND a child, and the other family members of the other people and families on board. No loss is easy, and some are unbearably hard. The whole world has grieved these tragic deaths, and the loss of a great athlete and hero, husband, and father. Even in Europe, people have grieved for him, and the others lost. My heart goes out to all the survivors who lost loved ones.

 

I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful, safe week. I hope we’re all grateful for our many blessings, however small they are, I hope that we’re treasuring our loved ones, and grateful for every minute we have with them. My children and I have been deeply saddened by Kobe’s death, and all the others with him.

 

I hope that life touches you gently this week, and that it’s a week of many blessings for you.

 

love, Danielle

 

1/27/20, Writing and vogue.com

Posted on January 27, 2020

 

Hi Everyone,

I am busy writing right now, in the meantime please check out this nice piece on vogue.com:

https://www.vogue.com/vogueworld/article/danielle-steel-at-couture-week-paris-history

 

Have a great week! love, Danielle

12/2/19, Juggling Act

Posted on December 2, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope that everything is going smoothly in your life, getting ready for the holidays.

 

With Christmas only three weeks away, I was sitting quietly last night, thinking about all the things I have to do. I try very hard to be organized, which is the only way I managed with nine children, when they were younger, more than one house to run even now, and many books to write. I’m not as busy as I was when my kids were little, but things have a way of evening out. I write more books now, and Christmas shopping for my kids is more complicated and more of a challenge than spending an afternoon at Toys R Us, as I did then. (Not to mention putting all the toys together, which took hours—-and an engineering degree I didn’t have!!!). But Christmas and the holidays aren’t just about Christmas shopping. It’s about entertaining friends, preparing certain traditional foods. We used to bake brownies for all the kids’ friends and teachers, put them in pretty tins and deliver them. Writing the Christmas cards, going to school performances if you have young children. The list is endless of what many people do before the holidays. When I look back at all I did when my children were really young, I have no idea how I did it. Especially times Nine!!!

 

I think domestic tasks are more evenly divided now between men and women than they used to be, or at least I like to think so. With a husband who was of another generation then, he was not an active participant in household chores or Christmas preparations, although he loved Christmas. Sometimes I wonder if people realize all that women do by the time the turkey is on the table and the tree is decorated,  all the gifts are wrapped, and the Christmas music is playing. I was lucky in two things, or many things, but one is that I worked at home, on my own schedule, so I could work at night when the kids were asleep, and I was also lucky in that I don’t need a lot of sleep. I still do many things at night, because there are fewer interruptions, and I love to write at night, for the same reason, few interruptions. But as a working woman, the bulk of holiday tasks still falls to us, and somehow it’s expected. We shop for the gifts, and wrap them, if there’s cooking to be done, we do it (lucky for my family, I don’t, but I used to. I am not an outstanding chef, and never was). I did the Christmas cards, the baking (I’m a fairly decent baker). I went to every Christmas school performance, AND auditions, sports games, and all activities, not to mention the orthodontist, doctors’ appointments, and less exciting tasks even right before the holidays. And when the dogs had to go to the vet, I took them. My point is that women have always done an incredible number of ‘unofficial’ jobs, while holding down a real job, and taking care of children.

 

It’s true all year, not just during the holidays. My generation was told that we could “have it all”, an active satisfying, challenging career, AND a family. Women in earlier generations had to make a choice between family and career. We decided, and I did too, that we could have both, and succeed at both. And many women did. What no one told you were the sacrifices you’d have to make, the things you would simply not have time to do if you chose to “have it all”. I used my kids’ school hours to write my books, as well as writing at night. I don’t think I had lunch with a single friend for twenty years, until my kids grew up, and even now I rarely do. (It cuts right into the middle of the day and interrupts my work, to take the time to dress nicely, go somewhere, eat lunch, and get back. it takes 3 or 4 hours out of my work day, even if I enjoy it). I never had time to read a magazine when they were little, and fewer books than I liked. I had worked in advertising as a copywriter, and as a high school teacher, and was able to give that up and work at home on the books before I was thirty. But working at home meant juggling all the household and family tasks, AND doing my job of writing. I wore my hair long and pulled back because I rarely had time to get to the hairdresser. I loved to go shopping, but had little time for that. I think most men, and women who have opted for careers and not kids, don’t realize all the things you don’t have time to do for yourself if you have a family and a job. And they still ask “Have you done the Christmas cards yet?” I don’t know a single man who does them. There’s a lot you can do on the Internet now, but I think as women we take pride in doing the things that are supposedly part of our ‘job’, as mothers and partners. Most of us like doing those things, even if it means that we skip doing something for ourselves. I am amazed at all that I see women do, for their partners and families, and the sacrifices they make without a whimper. They really are the unsung heroes of our busy times.

 

I recently spoke to a female friend who is the head of a conglomerate of 5 publishing houses in France. She works incredibly hard, is married, and has two young children in lower school. It was midnight when we were speaking. She had been to three different book fairs that week in other cities. And while we were talking, she was making lasagna for a class event at her daughter’s school, and had a breakfast meeting with an author the next day.

 

I salute these brave busy women who do so much that no one even notices, and rarely thanks them for. No one realizes all the personal time they give up to do something for themselves that they might enjoy. Most of them don’t complain, they don’t remind us of all they do, whether during the holidays or during the rest of the year. Sometimes women really are heroes, for what they give up, for all they do, and for the incredible juggling acts they manage, to make their families and friends happy. My own life is a lot easier now, but I remember so well the many nights I fell into bed exhausted, or wanted to, but I still had a Halloween costume to make, or a doll house to decorate with tiny little rugs and miniature furniture, so it would be ready on Christmas.

 

So for those of you racing around madly, with no time for yourselves, doing everything—–I salute you with the greatest respect and endless admiration. It really is a juggling act, and in the end, even with little or no praise for it, it is well worth it. There is an enormous satisfaction that comes from it in the long run, and precious memories. I don’t regret a single lunch with a friend that I gave up, and the memories of the baking, making, and running around to make the holidays a success are a tender memory now.

 

Have a wonderful week, and even if you are racing at full speed, doing things for everyone else—take just a minute to do something for yourself!!!

 

much love, Danielle

 

11/11/19, No Excuses

Posted on November 11, 2019

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you had a good week last week. I had a good one with interesting meetings, some rewarding work, some nice conversations with my kids, a friend I love whom I got to see which warmed my heart. And a manuscript I was waiting to edit was delayed in the mail, so I actually got a few days off, and even got to read someone else’s books for a change!!!

 

Among the books I particularly love are those by Joel Osteen, whom I am lucky enough to know and consider a friend, with his wonderful family, whom I’ve also met (mother, brother, sister, wife, kids, they’re a terrific bunch!!). Joel is a truly extraordinary person, warm, humble, incredibly bright, modest, kind, compassionate, he’s a minister and delivers his powerful positive message in a palatable, accessible way, even for people who don’t consider themselves religious. He’s written about a dozen books (#1 bestsellers on the NY Times list), and his books ALWAYS open my thought to new ideas, and leave me feeling stronger, better, more hopeful, happier and more positive about life. He has a tremendous gift. And the one thing I think our books have in common is that we try to share hope with our readers. I think hope is one of the most important things in life, as important as love, and sometimes even more so. We cannot live without hope. Many times, Joel’s books have given me hope when I thought things were looking pretty dark. And there is always some major thought or theme in his books that wakes me up to see things around me in a new light. They are like a burst of sunshine and fresh air for me.

 

On the back of one of his recent books, that I read last week, is an excerpt from the book: “Nothing will change until you make up your mind that you are not going to accept mediocrity. Why don’t you take the limitations off yourself? You have so much potential. Break out of that box and try something new…You are not limited by your education, by how you were raised, or your current situation. You are destined to rise higher.” He not only gives his readers hope, he shares his faith-driven energy with them. It works for me. What resonated for me in that excerpt was not being limited by our history and circumstances. Inside the book, he talks about “Getting rid of the excuses” and “remove the shame.” Wow!!! Those two thoughts really stopped me and made me think.

 

We all have ‘excuses’ for why we aren’t doing something or moving ahead, why we’re not pushing ourselves harder than we are: an accident, health, an injury, a terrible divorce, the loss of someone we love, a bad break up, losing a job, or as Joel said, a limited education, an abusive childhood, or maybe a bad relationship we allow to continue and don’t feel strong enough to get out of. At different times, we put up with some terrible situations and extreme emotional pain—-sometimes leaving the bad situation and being alone seems worse (which most of the time is not the case. Alone is better than abuse!!! Sometimes we get used to some really awful situations, and settle for them rather than risking the unknown). (I was in a therapy group once where a woman shared the incredible abuse her boyfriend was inflicting on her, cheating on her, beating her, taking her money, being nasty to her. It was a list an arm long, and someone asked why she didn’t leave him, and she said “But how do I know who I’d meet if I leave him, I might meet a really bad guy”. A REALLY bad guy? Are you kidding, Frankenstein, Dracula, or Adolf Hitler would have been better than the guy she had. It took a long time, but she did eventually leave him, and was a LOT happier.) Fear of the unknown paralyzes a lot of us, and keeps us in a bad spot. We also feel unworthy at times of anything, which is where Joel’s message is so strong: Remove the Shame. We all feel ashamed of things we’ve done, and where we’ve fallen short, which sometimes leads us to believe that we deserve to be punished and treated badly. If you take away the shame, and give it up (and figure you’ve already paid enough penance for it), it opens up a whole new vista of positive opportunities, and even happiness. Getting rid of the shame, and letting it go opens the door to a wealth of possibilities we ALL deserve. (Nobody is perfect!!!)

 

What resonated for me in his recent book was ‘Getting rid of the excuses’. Some of the excuses are buried deep, where others don’t see or hear them, but we use them for ourselves, the passes we give ourselves for why we can’t reach a better life (or attitude). When I read that line in his book, it woke me up, with a real jolt. I think the greatest (usually unspoken) excuse in my own life is that my mother left when I was 6, and I grew up alone with my father. (Which has its convenient sides—-I know more about cars than I do about makeup, which I wear very little of). I missed out on all those mother-daughter moments that most people have. It is also a brutally powerful message when your own mother leaves you. What does that say about you if your own mother rejects you? I know others it has happened to, men and women now, and it is a big deal to overcome. A HUGE deal. If you let it, it can set you up to be rejected, abandoned, or treated badly forever by others. It has been my excuse for being overprotective of my own children, too dependent on the men in my life, the message being “my mother left me, so please don’t you”. That’s a hell of a burden for another person to live with, and to put on them—it’s not their fault my mother left—nor mine. That’s the point. I wasn’t responsible for her leaving, so I shouldn’t have to carry the weight of that forever. And it SHOULDN’T be my excuse for being a burden on someone else, nor should I expect others to abandon me because she did. And if they do, it’s a brand new account, and NOT a replay of the past. But in seriously  introspective moments, I realize that privately I have used that as an ‘excuse’ for not trusting people, hanging on too tightly, or accepting bad behaviours from them that I shouldn’t (so they don’t leave too). Today is a whole new day. A new life. EVERY day.

 

The other excuse I could use, but don’t usually, or as much, is that I lost a son (to suicide). Losing anyone you love is agonizing, and losing a child is a special kind of excruciating pain——–but it’s still not an excuse to stop living yourself, to pay less attention to your other children, or be depressed for the rest of your life.  It was a terrible blow, there is no question, but I have fought hard not to let it be an ‘excuse’ in my life for sitting in a corner and feeling sorry for myself. I still have tough times with it at times, but I have tried not to let it define me or my life. (“oh the poor thing, she lost a son”. Yes, I did, and it’s a terrible loss, but I don’t want to be a poor thing or have it be my ‘excuse’ for staying frozen in that place. My son Nick would have hated that, he expected more of me than that, and so do I). I think I was lucky that a woman I’ve never liked came up to me at his funeral, looked me in the eye and said “You will NEVER recover from this.” Holy Sh**#@@”, what an awful thing to say to someone, like a life sentence. When she said the words to me, even in my fog of grief, I thought “Oh NO!!!” I’m not going to let that happen, and I fought hard not to let that happen (We started two foundations in his name to help the mentally ill, I worked on the streets with the homeless actively for 11 years with one of our foundations, I wrote more books than ever, was closer than ever to my kids, and 5 years later I started an art gallery which gave me endless joy for almost 6 years. I did everything I could not to let his loss crush me and destroy me. I did NOT want that to be an excuse for no longer living a full life.

 

A bad divorce can be an excuse for no longer living a full life, or a limited education—-there are so many people now who have done outstanding things, and even made fortunes with poor educations, or have had bad lives before that. (In another therapy group I was in, dealing with grief and loss, a woman talked sobbing about how her husband had left her, and she had stopped her life completely. Gently, I asked how long it had been since he left, assuming it had been weeks or maybe months. She answered “26 years”…..that’s a long time to grieve a bad marriage and not move on.

 

 

I am not dismissing or minimizing the terrible things that can and have happened to all of us. But it seems as though we have two choices, to let it beat us, or not let it beat us. And we sometimes do use excuses to give ourselves a pass to not lead a full life after something hard happens. Reading Joel’s book made me want to throw those excuses away. Yes, my mother left me at 6. But I don’t want to let that rule my life or affect me today. And I was ashamed then and later that my own mother had left me. That shame is someone else’s and doesn’t belong to me. Ashamed too that I got divorced, which I saw as a failure on my part that I couldn’t convince two husbands to stay. But I’ve had a very good life in spite of that. I don’t want to use those excuses. I don’t want excuses to limit my life.

 

I don’t like age as an excuse either. I want to cheer every time I hear about old people who are working fully, or doing something remarkable, and there are many, many, many older people leading full, productive lives. I heard about a woman yesterday who just got married at 99, she married a 73 year old man, and I thought Good For Her!!! (And Bravo to him, for seeing her value as a human being and her beauty). And I know of two 107 year old women, in Italy and Japan, who are in remarkably good shape. These days, it happens.

 

I always find Joel Osteen’s books life changing. Those two simple phrases, among some very very valid points throughout the book, about “Get rid of the excuses” and “Remove the shame” really spoke to me, and maybe to you as well reading it here.

 

In any case, I don’t want any excuses Not to lead a full and happy life, and I’m all for getting rid of anything that stops us, or blocks us, or brings us down!!!

 

Have a great week, and I hope WONDERFUL things happen to you!!! You deserve it!! We all do!!!

 

love, Danielle

 

 

9/9/19, The Dark Side, Instagram, and Parties!!!

Posted on September 9, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you had a great week since we last chatted. I’ve had an exciting week!!! My new book The Dark Side is on the New York Times bestseller list, high up on the charts—-thanks to YOU, my faithful readers for putting it there!! And my fairly recent new paperback, Turning Point, is still on the lists too after 6 weeks, since pub date.

 

And it’s always fun to try something new. I’ve been debating for a long time about doing Instagram, and I made a decision this summer to do it. And we’ve launched the Instagram, to give you some visual glimpses into various aspects of my life. The Instagram is listed as officialdaniellesteel. I hope you love it!!

 

And when I wasn’t going through photographs (of my dogs, kids, desk, typewriter, and a few other surprises) for my Instagram, I went to a terrific party this week. I don’t usually go to parties given by stores—-I’m at home, writing. But Hermes is a beautiful long-established French brand of beautiful leather goods as well as clothes (they started as a saddle maker many many years ago), and I have a soft spot in my heart for Hermes (I still have some of my grandmother’s beautiful Hermes bags, the brand is family-owned, and their craftsmanship is exquisite. Anything by Hermes is a treasure to cherish forever. I still have the Hermes black leather “Kelly” bag that my grandmother gave me for my 18th birthday!!!). And several years ago, they introduced a “Danielle Steel” bag which was a huge honor. It looked a bit like an old fashioned satchel, and had a secret compartment in the bottom. Very cool!!

 

Hermes has a tradition of giving a big fun party at the end of the summer, and they turn the store into a chic, fun “Playland for Adults”. There is no purpose to the party, other than for the guests to have a good time, relax, and enjoy themselves, with lots of food, drink, and entertainment. They held it on a balmy night and did an incredible job. I didn’t even recognize the store. It was beautifully decorated for the party. There were dancers in the windows looking onto the street, a bowling alley when you walked inside. There were lots of food, games of musical chairs all set up, a photo booth (I stopped to have my photo taken with a friend. And a beautiful roof top garden terrace, where many people congregated to sit and chat. The Champagne flowed, and it was easy to see that EVERYONE was having fun. I really enjoyed it, and stayed much longer than I expected to. I didn’t want to leave. It was really fun, and ‘free dress” prevailed.

 

So it was a fun week, and I hope you enjoy both the Instagram, and The Dark Side, the new book!!!  Have a great week ahead!!

 

love, Danielle

 

8/12/19, “Complete”

Posted on August 12, 2019

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you’re having some really good weeks, and hopefully still some vacation, as the summer starts to wind down. It’s been a long hot summer, and I’ve had some lovely time with my kids, and also did a lot of work this summer, working on several books at different stages.

 

I like to keep busy, and am happier when I am. I race around meeting deadlines, trying to get time with my children, love puttering around my house fixing things and adding things or getting rid of things (my famous closet purges when I get rid of lots of stuff), I travel a lot, mostly between my two homes, and only take one brief vacation a year for a week, and I am always on the move. But between the visits with the kids, the deadlines, the work on the books, seeing friends when I can, running two homes, and the fashion shows I report to you a few times a year, I do have moments of introspection, which helps give me direction, and even insights for the books.

 

In that vein, I was thinking about the notion of “completeness” the other day, and how easily we all, or most of us, feel ‘incomplete’. There is always, or often, something missing in our lives. A partner, the right partner or any partner, children/a child, a job that makes us feel important, the right home. We’re always striving for something, or missing something. It’s the nature of humans. Early in life, we’re striving to have it all. And later in life, we are trying to fill the voids. For women (and men) who have children, the kids eventually grow up and leave, and we are left with the void that leaves in our lives (with 9 kids, believe me that was a big hole to fill when all but one (so far) left home), for men and women who have important jobs, when they retire they feel as though they’ve lost their identity, another big void to fill. We look at others and think they have it all, a partner, a great job, a beautiful home—-but even those people must feel incomplete at times. It’s rare for any of us to have it all, all at the same time. There is so often something missing and we are left feeling incomplete as people, inadequate, and not whole.

 

Like Noah’s Ark, we are led to believe that we are incomplete, and we feel that way, without a partner. And yes, as Winnie the Pooh said to Piglet, “life is so much friendlier with two”. I have always been irked by the old song “You’re nobody until somebody loves you”. We believe that, we feel it, it so often seems to be true. Being solitary can be so lonely. Being with the wrong partner is even more so. Very few people seem to be truly happy alone, and most of us feel left out and ‘incomplete’ without someone to love and who loves us. We see others with partners and wish we had one too (and we forget that that’s not always easy either). Or we have a job that doesn’t fulfill us, or a home/house/apartment that is less than what we want and feel we deserve. And when we feel that something is missing, we feel incomplete. That’s not a good feeling, and can really make us deeply unhappy. When we’re feeling incomplete, we forget to look around at what we DO have, a home that’s nicer than we believe, a job that isn’t as bad as we think at times, we forget that the right person can walk into your life tomorrow and you won’t always be alone.

 

It’s also worth mentioning that if you feel incomplete and not ‘whole’, what are you really offering that new partner you want to come along? Half a person? A sense of desperation that a new person should make up for everything you don’t have in your life? That’s a heavy burden to put on someone else, and not very attractive or appealing, that they have to save you from your own incompleteness and dissatisfaction and provide everything you don’t have in your life and make your life exciting. And that new person may take a while to show up (or maybe not, they may come along faster). But you want to bring a whole person to the table (yourself), and offer them the riches of your own life and your wholeness, and then you can be two whole people together with much to share and offer each other. If you are desperate to have someone fill your empty life, that’s pretty scary for them!!! And you’ll be bored while you wait for them!! We need to fill our lives to the brim on our own, not count on someone else to do it, and then we really have something to offer someone new who walks into our life. You just can’t and shouldn’t count on someone else to “make you whole”. (It’s more likely to make them run like hell, in the opposite direction!! And who can blame them?)

 

I think it’s a life’s work feeling complete, and not focusing on what we don’t have. And it’s so easy to look at the down sides. When I moved into my California home, I was thrilled that my bedroom was on the same floor as all my kids, except one who lived in private grandeur on the floor above. Now, I walk past all those empty bedrooms on the way to my own room when I’m in California, a reminder that my kids have moved on. It’s like a neon sign reminding me that they’ve moved on and I live alone (except for one ‘child’ still at home, and I’m grateful for that). And without all those kids underfoot, it’s easy to feel ‘incomplete’. When I sat and thought about it the other day, I realized how full my life is, and reminded myself of how ‘complete’ I really am, that I am a whole/complete person with or without a partner, with or without kids living at home, no matter what my job, or my home. I think the trick is to feel complete with what we have, and who we are. It’s a real trap, and an easy one to fall into, to feel incomplete, and I know so many people who do—–and marry the wrong people as a result just so they’re not alone, or stay in situations or jobs that don’t fulfill them (we all need our jobs, but if you really hate your job, maybe it’s time to look for one you like better).

 

Each of us is complete and whole. It’s something we all need to remember and focus on (or do something about). It’s not the partner, the kids, your job, or the size of your apartment that makes you whole, or complete. It comes from within us, and remembering, appreciating, and focusing on what we DO have, and not what’s missing.  Now I can go back to cleaning out closets, grateful that I am in fact complete, I don’t need anyone or anything to make me complete, I am a whole person as I am…..and whatever is added to it will be an added gift!!!!

 

Have a great week!!!

 

love, Danielle

 

6/24/19, Desk Top

Posted on June 24, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope that last week was a good one. It’s officially summer now. The first day of summer, or rather the first night, is a fun event in Paris. It’s a celebration of music, where music groups, bands, people blessed with musical talent, perform in the streets. It’s a happy way to usher in summer and gives people a chance to share their musical gifts.

 

On another note, I am always somewhat fascinated to learn about the evolution of our habits, styles, and trends in this rapidly changing world. Some innovations seem like a vast improvement, others seem downright strange, or take some major getting used to. The last ‘corporate’ job I had a long time ago was in advertising, as a copywriter. After that, I worked for three years as a high school teacher, teaching English and creative writing, and after that I gave up my ‘day jobs’ to write full time (which in my case means day and night). I was in my twenties then, and had written my first book at nineteen, so it’s been a long while since I had a corporate job. Working at home, I set my own rules, make my own schedule, and can wear whatever I want. (My favorite writing outfits are old cashmere nightgowns, which are warm and comfy). And I’ve always gotten more work done at home without the distraction of others working with me, office politics, and meetings to attend. There are many advantages to working at home, but there are also downsides. You have to have the discipline to actually DO your work (and not clean out the kitchen cupboards or your closet instead, or the garage, or go for a walk or have three hour lunches with friends.). But there are definite downsides too, mostly on the social side. I don’t think it’s entirely healthy to work in solitary circumstances, never see anyone, get properly dressed, or have exchanges with other humans. It can be lonely, you don’t meet new people that way, which is an important part of daily life, and impacts relationships, or the ability to meet someone who might become a friend. I loved running the art gallery I had for 5 years, because I did have to get dressed up, go out, and met really interesting new people every day.

 

When I interview assistants for my office at home, the two questions I hear most often are “Will I have flexible hours?” and “Can I bring my dog to work?” Flexible hours means “Can I work from home?”. And my answer has always been no to both. I need people working in my office, not in their own home, so I can hand off work to them, sometimes projects, or a single mission: Xeroxing manuscripts, researching something I need, shipping manuscripts off to editors, dealing with the press, sending things to attorneys to check, and all the minutiae of my writing life. And although I have always had a lot of dogs of my own, I don’t want to deal with my employees’ dogs too, but I’ve eased up on that. And my office accountant brings her French Bull Dog to work—-who growls and barks every time she sees me (the dog, not the accountant!! Although I give her reason to bark at me too, but she doesn’t). But I still want my employees working at my house not their own. My employees work in an extensive ground floor space, each with their own private office, all of them three floors away from me, so I can still work quietly, alone, in my ‘ivory tower’, my tiny office upstairs (always the smallest room in every home I’ve lived in.) My current office, for the past 30 years, is about 8 by 10 feet. Over the years, I’ve worked in a laundry room, and several times in a closet I transformed into an office. I like small spaces, which are are cozy, when I write. So that’s what’s comfortable for me. And when I write, I’m surrounded by a million (maybe a few less) small mementos made for me by, or given to me by, my children, some photographs of them, with the walls of my office covered with art made by my kids over the years, funny signs, and the framed quotations I love. It’s all very personal, and I like everything neat and tidy when I start a book, and as I work (although my desk gets messier as the book grows). There are stacks of papers on my desk, either current projects, or others I need to refer to. There’s a lot of ‘stuff’ on my desk, but it’s all very orderly. I like to keep things neat, and no one sits at my desk, ever, except me. (the bad habits of an only child, I don’t like sharing my work space with others).

 

In light of that, a recent conversation with my French and British publishers stunned me, describing their new practices in their offices. And I think the same practices are now being used in the U.S.  First, they said they did away office walls, so that people were working in wide open spaces, which I would find very distracting with a sea of people around me. Also, isn’t that noisy?? I need total silence in the room when I write. The smallest noise, especially a mechanical one, or a phone ringing, or people talking, breaks into my thought process as I write a book. My British publishers recently moved, and my French ones are moving in a few months, so these new systems are new to them too.

 

The most amazing to me is that, having done away with office walls, and actual rooms where you can close a door, is that their newest change is that NO One will have a desk or their own space, their own room/office, or their own desk. There are areas of desks where you can work for a few hours, but you have to arrive with your own ‘stuff’ (papers, files, etc.), and take it with you when you vacate that desk a few hours later. There are couches, and sitting areas, and all the possible arrangements and configurations of furniture used in an office, but ALL of it is generic, does not ‘belong’ to you, and you have to carry all your paperwork around with you, as you move from area to area. When I asked where they put their files or other materials, they responded “on the floor”. Bluntly put, that would drive me nuts. Not only would I not have all the little personal things around me that make it ‘my space’ and feel homey and familiar, but you can’t leave anything anywhere, it’s a totally nomadic daily life, as you float around the whole building or office space, with no office of your own, and nowhere to put or leave your ‘stuff’. I would be a wreck by the end of the day, carrying manuscripts with me. I am definitely a ‘paper’ person, and not a high tech (or even low tech) computer person. Supposedly studies have shown that the new system works better, and gives people a sense of freedom, and the set up they need to perform different tasks. The lack of ‘possessiveness” stuns me…I love having My desk, and My space, and My office, not just a couch, or a random desk, or a table I can use as a desk for a few hours. I don’t think I could work that way. It seems incredibly modern and high tech, and I wonder if time will prove that it really is more efficient, or if office workers will just be shuffling around aimlessly, and lose some vital piece of paper as they move from place to place. (That would REALLY drive me nuts. WHERE is page 262???? or chapter 3??????) But I still write on a typewriter, not a computer. Just dragging all my stuff around all day would wear me out, and it would feel like working in an airport, not an office. But maybe people will love it. The ones I spoke to said they are still getting used to it, but have been told they will come to love it.

 

Brave new world!!! And it’s interesting to see people embrace change…..as I tiptoe off to my overcrowded little office, with everything in it just the way I want, to work 22 hours a day sometimes writing a book. And if anyone moves things on my desk, I have a fit, and can tell immediately!!! I’m happy I don’t have to make that adjustment!!

 

Have a great week ahead, and happy first day of summer!!!

 

love, Danielle

 

1/28/19, Rainy Sunday: Boundaries

Posted on February 4, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope January went by pleasantly and productively, and now we’re off to February—-and Valentine’s Day—-don’t get me started on that. If you’re madly in love, or even moderately in love, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day can be terrific—-if not, and love is not big on your agenda at the moment, watch out for those two nights. Alone, and in the wrong frame of mind, they can really suck. So much for that (I solve both by working if Love is not on the horizon. It works for me. I forget where I am and what I’m doing, and what day it is. Kisses and romance are certainly more fun, but work is okay too).

 

The riots are continuing in France, after three months now. The violence is not as extreme as in the early months and weeks, but the destruction and a certain degree of violence continues, it’s more contained, but stores are still being burned and looted, even if to a lesser degree. (In the first month, the rioters broke into a jewelry store, destroyed the brand new store, stole a million dollars’ worth of jewelry and vandalized and set fire to the place. They are a little more moderate now, but have caused billions of dollars of damage. It’s heartbreaking to see, in a city as beautiful as Paris). And just last week, one of the rioters clashed with police, lost an eye, and is still in a coma. No political opinion or cause seems worth that to me (other than a real war where you are defending your family and your home). Several people have died, both rioters and police. And it continues. An American friend commented to me the other day that it is hard to understand how the riots can happen once a week, by appointment on Saturday, with real savagery, and even loss of life and injury, and then go about their business like civilized people the other 6 days of the week. It makes no sense to me either. I was thinking today , as I have for these 3 months, and have seen some REALLY frightening days with entire streets on fire, whole blocks of cars burning, and stores and homes—–no matter what the cause or the reason, I abhor when it turns to violence and wanton destruction. (Some people even came from other countries (Spain, Italy, Belgium, Germany) to join in the ‘fun’, when they have nothing to protest about daily life in France, or government positions. It’s not their country. The reasons for the protests/riots have shifted and grown, it started with gas prices, went on to taxes, retirement pensions, complaints about the rich, the minimum wage, and like water it spread and became more free form. Anyone who had something to complain about, even if they had valid points on certain issues, put on a yellow jacket, and got busy. Not all the protestors were violent, but too many were. I hate violence, we all do. It just seems to me that once people lose control to that extent, they not only lose their effectiveness, and sympathy, but it just seems profoundly wrong to me. Even on a tiny personal level, when I lose my temper and get really angry, which is rare for me, I always feel diminished and as though I have lost something important of myself. One should be able to solve problems without losing one’s temper, saying hurtful things, and certainly without violence. Among the many shocking statistics floating around are that the electronic monitors on the highway, to monitor speed and send tickets later, were ALL destroyed in many areas around Paris. To replace those machines now will cost half a Billion dollars. And what about the rest? The stores, streets, houses, monuments, bus stops, and private and public property that were destroyed. Inevitably, taxes will be raised to cover the expense of repairs, which defeats the purpose of the protests. They wanted lower taxes, and did so much damage, that now taxes will be raised to pay for it. Everyone loses once violence happens, and even more so on a personal level.

 

After mulling all that over (with no conclusion) on this rainy Sunday, it made me think of boundaries and how important they are. I’ve been in relationships without them, which eventually bit the dust and died, for lack of them and other problems—-but EVERY relationship, whether parental, familial, boss and employee, mother and child, or between lovers, friends or spouses, and even between roommates—-EVERY relationship needs good boundaries, or regrettable things are going to happen. Someone younger than I asked my advice this week about a blow out that had happened in their romantic relationship, where one of the partners went off the deep end, said and did things they shouldn’t have, and wanted my advice about it. (People always assume that if you’re older than they are, you’re smarter, which isn’t always true. Older people can be just as confused as younger ones, they just look more grown up!!). But the incident related to me was clearly a terrible lack of boundaries. Some people assume that you can do or say anything in an argument, no holds barred and say “Sorry” later and it will all go away. That just isn’t true. Some words and some actions should never happen and can never be undone. My suggestion in this case, which is one I’ve tried to use myself, with good advice from a therapist, is to sit down at a good time on a good day (not at 2 am in the midst of an argument), and agree to some mutual rules of fair fighting, based on what’s important to each person, and stick to them meticulously in future—-No breaking the rules. Because the horrible things you say or may do (breaking something precious to the other person, insulting them so deeply you can never take it back, saying awful things about their families or kids (if their kids aren’t yours), frightening them or threatening to abandon them, threatening to end the relationship if you don’t really mean it—–those things just can’t be taken back are never forgotten and ultimately destroy the relationship, and do irreparable damage to the other person and the relationship. None of us can afford to let loose like that, nor should we allow ourselves that liberty or want to. I first heard about ‘boundaries’ in a group therapy session I went to….and I left it thinking “what was that B word again?…barnacles….beautiful? Uh, what was that?” it was boundaries, and I have learned the importance of that since.  I see it all the time when people don’t have good boundaries and let loose on others in ways they never should, and may not even mean (and even worse if they do mean it). But once you say it, it’s out there, or do something awful to the other person (not even physically, but emotionally). And watch out for people who DO intend to hurt you, and go as deep as they can to hurt you. Run like hell when you run into one of those!!! I find that I never feel really emotionally safe with people with bad boundaries, you don’t know what they’ll do or say, or how much they’ll hurt you.

 

So that’s my thought for the day: Boundaries. They really are important. Laws are a form of boundaries imposed on us, and we respect them so we don’t get in trouble and break those laws. Boundaries are just as important so we don’t break someone’s heart!!!

 

Have a great week!!!

 

much love, Danielle

 

1/21/19, Mixed Monday

Posted on January 21, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope all is well with you. Things have been madly hectic for me, traveling, writing, the ‘business’ of writing as well as the fun part. (I never think the business part is as much fun as writing a story). I finished a book, wrote a new outline for a future book, and am THRILLED to say that my newest hardcover is going to be #1 on the New York Times combined eBook and hardcover list. No matter how often that happens, it is ALWAYS a thrill every time!!! Thank YOU for making that happen!! I am always grateful that you are such dedicated fans. The current book is about a combined team of French and American trauma doctors who work together for a month in Paris and a month in San Francisco, on emergency events in both cities. It’s a very exciting book!!!

 

Today we are honoring Martin Luther King, an extraordinary man at an extraordinary time in American history. It seems like a long time ago, but it’s surprisingly recent that the country was struggling with desegregation and so many important issues. He was truly a hero of our recent history.

 

The Protestors/Rioters were back at it in Paris on Saturday. Their numbers were diminishing, but they’re still out there, protesting—-for the TENTH week!!! It has wrought havoc with the French economy to have stores (and restaurants) closed every Saturday for almost three months. And Parisians are very tired of the destruction to the city, which will cost billions to repair. The wanton destruction of property, whatever the cause, still seems wrong to me.

 

And like a bad joke, they had just begun to dissipate on Saturday, while I was working on the outline, when a SECOND group of protestors appeared, right under my windows, for a different cause with slogans and bullhorns and songs. In desperation I put on the earphones I use to watch movies on the airplane when I travel—-I put them on to drown out the noise, so I could finish my outline, and I probably looked pretty silly typing away!!!.

 

This is Haute Couture fashion week in Paris this week, so there will be fashion shows for several days—-and I heard whispers of a snowstorm coming, so it will be a busy, possibly messy week!!!

 

It’s incredible to think that the holidays are only three weeks behind us, it feels like they were in another century. I’m due for another visit with some of my kids soon, so I’m looking forward to that.

 

I also recently heard that today’s date is called Blue Monday in England, supposedly the most depressed/depressing day of the year. So I hope that is not true for you today. No more Blue Mondays!!! Spring will show up eventually. Although we could all be turning blue from how cold it is everywhere. Stay warm, keep busy, have fun, and I hope you love my new book, Turning Point.

 

much love, Danielle

 

1/7/19, Hitting the ground running…..

Posted on January 7, 2019

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Well, Welcome to 2019…..I see a lot of work in my future (nothing new about that), but it amazes me sometimes how fast I shift gears from quiet times, vacations, the holidays, and then I shoot right out of a cannon and hit the ground running into work mode again. This January looks like that for me. I was lucky enough to spend the Christmas holiday with most of my kids for a week, which was a happy family time, of doing only family things, and then from the day they left to go back to their own lives, I’ve been super busy with work. Maybe you have too!!!

 

As is my New Year tradition now, I start a new book the day my children leave after Christmas. It’s my antidote to being too sad when they leave. One minute my house is full of music and laughter, family meals, and all my children home, and then suddenly there is deafening silence, and they’re gone. And since I’m not crazy about New Year celebrations, as I’ve mentioned before, I start a book in the last few days of December, and by New Year’s eve, I don’t know what day it is, and I’m deep into a new book. It really works well for me (and I never make New Year resolutions, as I’ve said before too!!)

 

So true to form, when my kids left, I got to work writing a new book, and I’ve been flooded with work related projects ever since: picking covers for upcoming books, in the US, the UK, and several European countries, editing flap copy, reviewing marketing plans. We’re setting up a podcast in the weeks ahead, which is something new for me. Writing tweets, speaking to a wonderful film director about the possibility of working on a movie together, and to a network about possible TV movies. And I’m working on a new outline for another book, and when I go back to Europe, I’ll be meeting with my British publisher, planning for the books that will be coming up this year. So I’ve got lots of irons in the fire, and I really have hit the ground running in the first days of January.

 

The book I’m writing right now is my 175th book, which amazes even me. I guess that’s what happens when you write all the time, but it really astounds me sometimes that I’ve written so many books. It’s a book that requires a fair amount of research, and it’s always exciting to learn new things when I write.

 

I feel guilty at times that I do so much work. It leaves me very little time to do anything else, I’m always working. I don’t get enough time to see friends, or have down time, or spend a lazy weekend. I’m always working to stay on top of my writing schedule and meet deadlines in a pretty grueling schedule, but it suits me, and I’m grateful that I get to do so many things that relate to my writing. I picked a cover this week that I just love for a future book—-for the book that will come out in time for the holidays, at the end of 2019. We work pretty far ahead!!

 

I’m going to spend a weekend with 3 of my children soon, so that’s a treat for me. And I had a fabulous evening a few days ago: my youngest son gave me an evening out for dinner and a night at the theater as part of my Christmas gift from him. And I had a ball, we saw Mary Poppins the musical, and I loved it!!! And I managed to see the new movie too.

 

I hope the New Year has taken off at just the pace you like. I have to admit, my head is spinning a little from all the things I have to do, but I’m enjoying what I’m doing.

 

Have a busy, fun week ahead—–and we had a ‘Feast of the Kings’ cake yesterday, for Epiphany. The tradition in France is to have a cake, with either a plastic baby, or little plastic fish in it, and whoever gets it in their cake will have good luck all year. No one has gotten the baby yet—I’m hoping to get lucky on my second slice!!!

 

Have a great week!!! love, Danielle

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