Author Archive

Word Perfect

Posted on August 26, 2013

Hi Everyone,

I’m having fun with art again and just curated an art show we titled “Word Perfect”. I love art with words in it, and I curate an art show every August for a wonderful gallery in San Francisco, the Andrea Schwartz Gallery. Andrea and I have a ball working on the show together. She very generously invites me to do a show in her gallery every year, to pick whatever theme I like and whatever artists. And this is the second time we’ve done one with art that involves words.

We pick the theme for the show in January, and start looking at artists’ work. I usually use one or two of the artists I represented at my gallery (Andrea took on many of my artists when I closed my gallery), and we use some of her artists that she represents as well. It’s a group show, which includes several artists’ work. After we decide on the artists for whatever theme we choose, we contact them, and ask them to be in the show, and in April or May we pick the pieces we want to show from the work they have available that is appropriate for the show. They send us their work in July, and around the first of August, I spend a day hanging the show, and deciding where everything goes. It is always so exciting to see the work once it arrives, and then to see how it all looks together. It always thrilled me to hang a show when I had my own gallery, and I enjoy it just as much when I do it now at Andrea’s gallery. Two days after we hang it, she gives a party for the opening of the show, with music, wonderful hors d’oeuvres, and wine. Usually one or several reporters and/or art critics are there the night of the opening, her client list, some of my friends and children, and it’s really a fun event. » read more »

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Vacation? What vacation? Where??

Posted on August 19, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Although I always say that “I never work in the summer”, I seem to have been telling a white lie about that this year. In years past, I made it a hard and fast rule, that from the time my kids got out of school for the summer, until they went back to school around Labor Day, I didn’t work, so I could hang out with them, play and have all free time for them, and take some trips. And in the last ten years, once my older kids were married, I took a trip every year with my 5 youngest children and a friend for each. It’s always been so much fun, and what I live for all year. But as much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, times have changed. I feel very blessed that we still took a trip this year (the five youngest and I and their significant others or friends) and we had a great week together in the South of France. But with my youngest graduated from college a year ago, and ALL of my kids working (Wow!!), time together is harder to come by. They were wonderful again this year about spending time with me, with their limited amount of vacation from work, and I am so grateful to them for doing that. And they are all coming home for a long weekend for my birthday. But time is hard to come by now, they are pressured by work, have commitments in the other cities where they live, and I suddenly found myself with a lonnnnggggg summer on my hands, and too little to do. And the one thing I am terrible with is ‘down time’, and ‘relaxing’. Re-WHAT?? What was that word again? I putter around the house, do some projects, and within about 2 days, I am doing what our grandmothers used to call ‘fretting’, and the only thing I know how to do with time on my hands is work. I am a true work horse, and work always makes me happy. » read more »

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Age

Posted on August 12, 2013

Age. Wow. Such a tiny word for such a big issue and big subject. I always like the silly saying, “Age doesn’t matter unless you are a banana.” Clearly, that was written by someone who was fourteen years old.

I don’t know why but age has always bothered me, at every age, you’re either too young, or too old, or feel too old when you are young. I hate the numbers. I got off to an early start. I went to college at 15, married for the first time at 18, had my first child (and wrote my first book) at 19, and was always rushing to do something. And by now everyone must figure I’m 102, because I’ve been around for a long time. I actually wrote a book about the issue of age, called “Happy Birthday”, about 3 people turning 30,50 and 60 on the same day, and there is actually some funny and also pertinent stuff in that book.

I HATE landmark birthdays. In fact, I hate my birthdays altogether, and really shouldn’t. I got off to a bad start on birthdays. Mine is in the summer, when everyone was always on vacation, a perfect excuse for my parents not to celebrate it, postpone it, promise to do so later and never get around to it, because after the summer, everyone was too busy. So to me, as a little kid, birthdays spelled disappointment. As a result, I treated my children’s birthdays as MAJOR national events, with birthday parties, balloons, lots of gifts, themes, really fun parties, and I tried to give them the fabulous birthdays I never had.. And my children, in turn, are great to me on my birthday, everyone shows up and celebrates me (we won’t however mention some of the comments, like one of my daughters who looked at my cake with all the candles on it a few years ago and said, “Holy Sh–, Mom, it looks like a forest fire!!” Hmmm….never mind. They are very good to me on my birthday, and their father was too and made a big fuss about it, but I guess our childhoods mark us, and I never quite got that sad feeling about birthdays out of my head, and I always dread my birthdays. I remember thinking I was ancient at 25, practically dead and distraught at turning 30. 35 had me worried, 40 depressed me profoundly, and landmark ages ever since, or every birthday rattle me every year. And although I’m not that old by normal human standards, I look at my passport now and think WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING??? Whose age is that?? That can’t be me.

Age is such a damn complicated complex weird concept, and even now I’m not sure what it means. Every time I feel ancient, I look at photos of me 5 years ago (when I also felt ancient and wasn’t), and think “hmm….I looked okay then”, but at the time I felt as though I looked like King Tut. What the hell is that about? Why do we feel so old when we’re really not? And why do some people think birthdays are such a fabulous event? My ex-husband used to celebrate his for a week, with party after party after party with his friends. Another friend celebrates hers for a month. A month? Are you kidding, I can barely stand mine for a day. When nightfall comes on my birthday, I think Whew, that’s over with. When people say “Happy Birthday” I wince. Stupid really. We compare ourselves to people older or younger, wonder if we look better or worse. We run into people we went to school with and either chortle inwardly about how bad they look, relieved that we look better or run home wanting to cry because we think they look better and we look worse. And nowadays, 22 year old girls start using Botox on their faces, and far too many women rush to have face lifts, and ruin their looks and even make themselves look older with faces we no longer recognize. I am a profound coward and hate pain, and I’m way too chicken to ever have plastic surgery (or Botox), so I’m stuck with the face nature gives me at whatever age. I’d be too scared not to recognize myself in the mirror. But then I whine when I look at photographs, and worry that I look old. And (kind) people claim I don’t look my age, so whose age do I look? Grandma Moses? Or Brittney Spears? Neither one, I guess. I guess I just look like me. » read more »

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“Are you still a Brain Surgeon?”

Posted on August 5, 2013

Hi,

As you all know, now and then I air my pet peeves, so here goes.

There is a phenomenon that I have encountered for a long time, years, which I always take personally, has irritated me considerably, and I figured that people just do to me to be annoying. I just discovered that I am not the only one it happens to, and I think it is something that only men do to only women, and not just to me.

It goes like this, I run into a man I know or meet at a dinner party for the first time in a long time. After hello, they open with, “So, are you still writing?” Hmmm…..this immediately suggests to me that they have not read the NY Times (bestseller list) in many years, the Wall Street Journal, or maybe they don’t read at all. Yes, I am STILL writing. What this does is that it immediately puts my writing into the category as a hobby. As in, are you still taking piano lessons, doing macrame, have a parrot? I don’t have a huge ego about my work, but let’s face it, for me it is a job. A job I love, and I have been doing it since I was 19 years old. I have been in the Guinness book of world records repeatedly for having a book on the bestseller list for more weeks consecutively than whoever. Yes, for Heaven’s sake, I am still writing. It’s my work, my job, how my family eats and went to college. People said that comment to me when I was 35. Now when they say it, I get even more insulted because I think they’re suggesting I must be too old to write, but it’s actually not about that. (And I’m not that old yet). The comment is an immediate put down. It is a way of suggesting that what I do is really not very important. Women NEVER ask me that question. But SOME men do. The men who do, I find, are VERY uncomfortable about my success at what I do, and VERY annoyed by it. The other really ridiculous comment is “You have an AGENT?” Of course I have an agent, I have written 130 books that are sold in 69 countries in 43 languages—they think maybe I write letters by hand and send them to publishers around the world to sell my books? Of course I have an agent (a fabulous one I love). I never say to guys, “So are you still a lawyer?…A doctor?…A brain surgeon?” They would think I’m nuts if I did. But men who are annoyed by women’s success in business have to find a way to put them down. And what better way to insult someone than minimize what they do, imply that it’s really insignificant, and inquire if they’re still doing it? Are you still bungee jumping off your mother’s roof?? Having contests to see how many grapes you can squeeze into your mouth?? (That was so much fun when I was about 8). I was actually a pogo stick champion when I was about 10, and no I am not doing that anymore. But YES, I AM STILL WRITING. In fact, I finished a book about an hour ago. It is SUCH a dumb question coming from an intelligent person. If you walk into a bookstore, open a newspaper, or whatever, you can see that I am ‘still’ writing. The worst form of that was at a dinner party I went to years ago. I sat down, I smiled at the man next to me and I’m a shy person, and he barked at me, “Who do you think you are?” Was that a trick question? No it was a man who was so uptight about what I’ve accomplished that he needed to be insulting before he even met me, to make himself feel better. The other comment men like to make is another winner “My maid just loves your books”. Really, well thank God for her. There are LOTS of men who DON’T have an issue with women being successful in business, but unfortunately some who do. I love talking to men who aren’t threatened by women who work, do it well, and do well at it. It’s a pleasure to talk to them. But the ones with a chip on their shoulder really are a bore and not much fun. » read more »

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The Golden Dove

Posted on July 29, 2013

When my family and I go on vacation, we tend to become sedentary, and stay put where we are. We don’t seem to be the kind of people who explore the area, take helicopter rides over volcanoes, or even go out to dinner to local restaurants. Once we plant ourselves somewhere for our family vacation, and there are a lot of us, adventure trips aren’t part of the plan. We lie in the sun all day, there is lots of swimming, occasionally some fishing if we’re on a boat, and evenings together wherever we are staying, and everyone seems happy that way. And when we were on a boat, we left the boat at night once during a trip for dinner off the boat. But most of the time, the kids and I were happy at anchor somewhere (off Corsica or Sardinia, or tied up at some rocks outside the tiny port of Portofino), and not even going into port. And we usually had one nightclub adventure per trip, but we haven’t done that in a few years. And this year, we had a lot of fun at night playing a game called “Catch Phrase”, which you pass around like a hot potato, playing what looks like Charades, with a timer and a buzzer to add tension to the game as you try to describe the ‘phrase’ on the screen without actually saying the words. In our case, it involves a lot of screaming, shrieking, and laughing, and the family is divided into two teams. I love the game!! We also play a lot Scrabble, some cards and liar’s dice. We read in the sun (they read other people’s books, not mine, it’s hard to be a hero on your own turf), and have lunch and dinner together every day. Our vacations involve my five younger children, each brings a friend or significant other. My three older married children make their own plans and have young children. And the younger five and I + their 5 friends or SO’s spend a week together in France or Italy, and have since they were born. The older ones were part of the group until they married a few years ago and had their own kids, and enjoy doing different things now with their own families. So there are eleven or twelve of us now on our family vacation every summer. And we love being lazy, relaxing, and having fun together. And as we do every summer, we decided to go out for one dinner, and stayed comfortably at our hotel the rest of the time. (We’re a big group to move around, so we do very little moving during our vacation week). » read more »

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Name That Baby!!!….or maybe not.

Posted on July 22, 2013

Hi everyone…..With two members of my staff pregnant this summer (with a girl and a boy), talk of baby names has been rife in my office. Well, actually, not really baby names. The naming game is one that I am VERY familiar with. With 9 kids, we struggled through that several times, finding just the right name, and we still like the ones we chose. (My kids are all in my dedications, so you’ve probably seen their names many times before). And every time I start a book, I pore over all my old baby name books, to find just the right ones for the characters. It’s amazing how a name can sometimes portray the personality of a character. Sometimes I’ve used complicated ones, and at other times simpler ones, and often foreign ones. » read more »

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Paris Couture Shows

Posted on July 15, 2013

It’s that time of year again, one of my favorite times in Paris, the first week in July. (The other big early July event is the sales in Paris, with reductions of up to 70% on everything, and some gorgeous things on sale, at fabulous prices. The sales happen every year in January and July). And at the other end of the spectrum, and surely not a bargain, are the Haute Couture fashion shows that I’ve told you about before. When I was a child, and into my young adulthood, the Haute Couture fashion shows were a BIG DEAL in Paris. Even cab drivers talked about them, and the French are very proud of their history in fashion. Haute Couture are beautiful clothes, made to order and entirely made by hand: every stitch!! The seamstresses who make them apprentice for 12 years before they are allowed to work on a garment, and it is a highly respected craft in France, to the point of being considered art. When I was younger, Haute Couture clothes were exquisite, they were expensive, but still within the realm of somewhat accessible. Summer clothes were shown in spectacular fashion shows in January for the following summer, and winter clothes for the coming season were shown in a fashion show in July. The fashion shows are by invitation only, and were always an elite event, wives of Presidents and heads of State went, movie stars and royals. The shows would last for a week by famous designers like Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent, and Christian Lacroix, all incredibly talented people. And during Haute Couture week, you would dash from one show to the next, if you were lucky enough to be invited. Hordes of press were there. And about 40 models would saunter down the runway in 75 spectacularly beautiful outfits, always with a bride at the end. It is every little girl’s dream to go to a fashion show like that, see the clothes, dream of being a model, or maybe of wearing clothes like that one day. I loved seeing it as a young girl, was lucky enough to wear some Couture clothes as an adult, and I always took my 5 daughters to see the shows, even when they were children. It engrained in them a deep love for fashion, beautiful workmanship, and incomparable design, and now 3 of them work in fashion. » read more »

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Happy Days

Posted on July 8, 2013

Hi Everyone,

What a treat I had this week, a throwback to another time in my life and total joy.

Although my kids had been to Euro Disney several times when they were younger, during our summers in France, I was always busy when we were in Paris, and used the treat of a trip to Euro Disney as a plan to keep them occupied for a fun day when I had grown up things to do. And when they were kids, we went to Disneyland in California every year and of course I went with them and we all loved it. But I had never been to Euro Disney here, and have not been to any of the Disney parks in about 15 years since my kids grew up. And I was thrilled when recently my Goddaughter’s father invited me to join her and her brother and sister for a day at Euro Disney, which they had never been to before either. It sounded like a huge amount of fun to me, with children who were going to discover it for the first time at ages 3, 6 and 9, the perfect age for all that joyful magic, Minnie, Mickey, Goofy, The Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, Aladdin, you can’t beat that. So with delight, I accepted the invitation, put it on my calendar in big letters, and waited for the day to come. And it came this week.

We set off at 9:30am, happily in a van big enough for the kids and adults, were at Euro Disney, less than an hour outside Paris, shortly after 10, and the fun began. I will admit that, much to my delight, 2 VIP guides had been arranged, and they made everything that happened that day easier for all of us. It may be an elitist way to enjoy Disneyland, but let’s face it with 3 little kids, summer crowds, and long lines at every ride, some help was greatly appreciated to shorten the lines, get in through back entrances at times, and take us on some short cuts across the park, two parks in fact, since Disney now has a second park there dedicated to movies and the old movie studios (with some scary rides thrown in that one of the kids and several of the adults loved—-I not being one of them. I am happiest on rides best suited for 6 year olds, and you’ll never find me on a roller coaster or some scary ride that plummets you from a great height toward the ground. I even skipped the Dumbo ride in Fantasyland because I don’t like heights. The three and six year olds and I loved all the same rides!! And the nine year old outclassed me by a mile.) » read more »

Dinner in Paris

Posted on July 1, 2013

Hi…..I had the pleasure of seeing some friends this week, whom I haven’t seen in about 10 years. They live in a different city, we used to have work involvements together, and they retired very young, and time just slid by without our seeing each other. But like truly great friendships, when our paths crossed during a trip they made to Paris, it was just like old times and we spent the evening catching up about life, what we’ve been doing, our kids. And we had a great evening, and hope to see each other again sooner than in another ten years!! And in the course of the evening, they asked me about my life in Paris, and why is it more fun for me than the time I spend in San Francisco, and why do I like it here. Questions like that always make you take stock, but Paris is an easy city to explain. For one thing, Paris is so incredibly beautiful, there is something beautiful to look at on every corner, and everywhere you look. The Place de la Concorde, the Eiffel Tower sparkling at night, the boats drifting on the river on a warm summer night, the charm of so many neighborhoods, tiny parks and places, the history and the architecture. San Francisco has great natural beauty, the bay, the hills and mountains, and it has its own appealing architecture. And it’s really not fair to compare a small city with a big one. San Francisco has a lot to offer if you’re outdoorsy and athletic, which I’m not. I’m more of an indoor person, or a city person, so all the hikes and walks and sports it offers are kind of wasted on me. And it’s a sleepy town in many ways. If I invite friends to dinner in San Francisco, they like to eat earlier than Europeans, and by 10pm, or earlier, everyone goes home. Europeans eat later, stay at the table forever, having intense discussions, often about politics or other serious subjects, and they stay late (like til 1:30 in the morning on a weekday, or later). And for a night owl like me, I enjoy those long late talky nights with friends. I love my home in San Francisco, and the fact that several of my children live in that city, which draws me back there like a homing pigeon or a mother hen, but I run out of things to do there, other than work. And I work very intensely in San Francisco, most of the time 18 or 20 hour days. In Paris, there is always an exhibit, a gallery I want to see, an auction house I love pawing through, an art or antique fair. In population, Paris is roughly ten times the size of San Francisco, so it’s really not fair to compare them, and people entertain more in France. I get invited to dinner at friends’ homes several times a week in Paris, for relaxed fun evenings among friends. Americans don’t entertain at home as much, and that kind of warm opportunity to spend time with friends is part of the quality of life in Europe, which I enjoy. And having grown up in Europe a lot of the time, gone to French schools all my life, and having had European parents, France is very familiar to me. I tried to explain that to the friends I saw the other night, but it’s always hard to put words to the atmosphere of a city. And then, the following night, I had dinner at good friends’ house, and it was a perfect illustration of everything I had been trying to say the night before » read more »

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Magic!!!

Posted on June 24, 2013

Magic is rare and hard to come by, and adds something so wonderful and unexpected to our lives, like a dream come true, or a wish we always had. Two years ago in Paris, a close friend in Paris invited me to something called The White Dinner, and as he described it to me, it sounded a little odd. On a designated night in June (as close as possible to the same date every year), thousands of people converge on a location they are informed of two hours before, they all show up wearing white, and at the location, they are told to go to one of the monuments of Paris (oh yes, and they show up carrying a folding table, two chairs, linen, china, silverware, and their dinner). And at the monument, these thousands of people sit down and have an elegant candle lit dinner, and at the stroke of midnight, they pick up their card tables and leave. Huh? What? Yeah….sure….whatever. It sounds interesting but a little crazy to me, and hard to imagine. Apparently, they have no permit for the location, they just show up once a year. It sounded a little like “Brigadoon” to me, the movie about the village in Scotland that appears once every hundred years, they all have a great time, and then disappear for another hundred years. Or in this case, for a year. (The event began more than 25 years ago as an anniversary dinner for a group of naval officers and their wives all dressed in white, and they plopped themselves down in a public place and had an elegant dinner. It grew and grew and grew, and has now become a tradition for thousands of Parisians, and people who come from all over the world, if they’re lucky enough to be invited.) » read more »

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