Author Archive

1/27/14, Paris News

Posted on January 27, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I don’t know why but this January has seemed busier than usual. I usually hibernate after the holidays, last year it snowed constantly in Paris and was freezing cold, and I stayed home, writing, and watched Downton Abbey. This year, I’ve been busy. I’ve done some writing too, but have been running around a lot.

It’s ‘that’ time of year again in Paris: the Haute Couture fashion shows that used to be The BIG Deal in French fashion, full of glamour, gorgeous clothes, and chic women watching the shows. Now it’s very much a mixed bag. The Ready to Wear Shows (of which there are many) are the big draw now, and the ones that all the celebs and movie stars from around the world go to. The Haute Couture shows are very few now, and it’s a short week, and the famously elegant women of the past seem to have disappeared. In their place are people dressed extremely, very short skirts, see through clothes, some men in skirts, many without socks, wild hair colors and hair dos (men in blue and green hair, women in pink hair). It’s hard to know where to look, there’s a lot to see at those shows. I only go to two of those shows now, Dior and Chanel (you can see the fashion shows themselves on Style.com). The clothes at Dior were young and summery, since the clothes we were seeing are for next summer/the spring collection. In Haute Couture, they are all made to order, and don’t just appear in a store. They were short, airy, and some were very pretty, though nothing I personally could wear. And at Chanel, they were beautiful and very young, with pretty young girls wearing everything with sneakers (even the bridal gown).

The Dior show was held in a special structure in the garden of the Rodin Museum, near The Invalides, the inside was very futuristic, with various levels, it was like being inside a space station of some kind, and the models passed a few inches in front of us. The Chanel show was held at the Grand Palais, a beautiful antique glass structure. The setting inside was dazzling white, very modern, the models came down a staircase that had been built for the occasion, while we watched from couches, and an orchestra played. It was a feast for the senses, with LOTS of fashionable women in the audience. It’s always exciting to see those shows, and I loved them, as always.

Other than that, I’ve been getting ready for the ceremony where I will receive the decoration from the French Government, the Legion d’Honneur, which is a beautiful medal on a red ribbon. I’m very excited about it!! So I’ve been planning that. (And have to write a speech!!)

Paris has been buzzing with Presidential gossip. The President lived for 25 years, unmarried, with the mother of his 4 children, they parted a few years ago (she ran for the presidency herself, and lost to President Sarkozy). And after he won the last election, the new (and current) President appeared with a new partner, a journalist, whom he declared as, and was treated as, First Lady of France. She joined him at the French White House, where she even had a staff, and went to official functions with the President. And all of this despite the fact that he wasn’t married to her either. And all of that blew up when paparazzi outed him a few weeks ago as having a hot romance with a younger French actress. The unofficial First Lady got extremely upset, and checked into the hospital to ‘recover’ from the shock. You can imagine all the excitement and gossip that caused!! There was a Presidential press conference, everyone wants to know what (or who) comes next, and no one knows. At last report, the unofficial ‘First Lady’ (or ex?) is still in the hospital, and no one knows who will be his companion now. It’s the kind of gossip that happens in cities and towns, among slightly more ordinary people, but it really gets up some steam and a lot of public interest when it’s the president of a country. Stay tuned….if you care…..to see who the next Presidential companion will be. France can’t wait to find out!!! The French are more tolerant than Americans about political romances, but this one involving the presidency has caught everyone’s attention, even in France.

So that’s all the news from Paris. Fashion, and Presidential gossip. It certainly gets the year off to an interesting start. I hope yours is off to a great start!!

love, danielle

My Chihuahua Minnie & her new baby sister, Baby Blue
My Chihuahua Minnie & her new baby sister, Baby Blue

1/13/14, YOU!!!

Posted on January 13, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I just read the comments on my blog, and I have tears in my eyes. You are so kind to me, so generous, so full of praise, so compassionate and caring about the things I do or that happen to me. Rather than follow some other topic, I wanted to respond to all of you today, to thank you for the lovely messages you write to me, and to tell you what it means to me. I write the stories that come to my head and heart, some inspired by my own experiences, some not, I write and edit them for at least two years, and then they get published and go out in the world to you, and I have no way of knowing what they mean to you, until I see comments like the ones you leave on this blog. So it is so heart-warming to me to know that you love the books, and enjoy them, and they are either helpful or meaningful to you. Thank you with all my heart for your comments. Truly, you warm my heart, and make the long, long hours of hard work late into so many nights worthwhile!!

A few of you asked direct questions. I felt terrible about the lady who got a very old paperback book of mine which was defectively printed and had about 20 missing pages, and wanted to know what to do about it. Since it’s one of my early books, there’s not much anyone can do about it now, although it’s good for us to know. Hopefully, you can find another copy of the book somewhere. I’m REALLY sorry that happened!!!

Someone else asked if I work from an outline. Yes, I do. I get an idea, I scribble notes about it on a big notepad. The theme of the book starts to come clear, and then I start outlining the characters, who would be in that story, what would they bring to it, why are they in that situation, what is their background. I need to ‘know’ who their parents and grandparents are, how they grew up, to make them react the way they do and who they are. I outline all the characters in the book, and then I spend hours figuring out the right names for them. I have a whole shelf of “What to Name the Baby” books. And then when I really ‘know’ my characters, I outline the story, broadly, and then finally chapter by chapter. The more detailed the outline is, the clearer the story will be to me when I actually write the book. If I’m too vague, it slows me down later on, so I have to figure it out. I discuss it once or twice with my editor, and she makes comments about the direction I’m going. Sometimes I agree with her, and sometimes I don’t, and she’s very, very good at what she does. I always have some kind of message I want to share with you, in addition to the story. For instance, in my newest hardcover “Winners”, each of the people involved in the story have had some very bad situation in their lives: a divorce, breast cancer, a failed business, the loss of a loved one/spouse, as well as the heroine’s accident who becomes paralyzed from the waist down at the beginning of the book. Her life was ski racing, as a member of the US Olympic ski team. She is 17 years old in the book. In fighting to get back her life after the accident, her courage inspires each of the other people in the book, and helps them fight the good fight against what has happened to them. We all face those challenges in different ways. We EACH have our challenges, the loss of a job, or someone we love, a failed marriage, a failed business, loss of a career (getting laid off), a sick child, a discouraging time, financial worries, the loss of a friend, family troubles, or kids acting out and out of line, our spouse or partner having an affair. Stuff happens, as they say. This book is about courage, and fighting against the odds to get our lives back in a good place again. It’s never easy, but in almost every situation, we can turn it around in some way, maybe not in the way we originally thought, but sometimes even better than before. Anyway, once I get the story outlined in detail, and I know my characters really well, and the ‘message’ of the book is clear to me, then the outline is done, and I can start the book. The outline can take me a month if the story is very clear to me, or up to a year. And the book takes about 2 years, allowing time for about 5 or 6 re-writes on it. It’s a long process, which is why I work on several books at once. So that’s how I do it.

Have all the stories in the books happened to me? No. Some have. Some haven’t. And sometimes I take an experience that did happen to me, and use the emotions of that and apply them to another situation. I have to write about things I care about, so I can make the story real. We all deal with different variations of the themes I write about, the challenges, the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the hopes, the joys. Things happen in all of our lives. I’ve been married, I have a lot of children, I’ve been divorced, I lost a son, as most of you know. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to have life experiences and learn from them. We all have. Our humanity and what has happened to us is the bond we share. The emotions in a book have to be real to me. And I try to write about things I know. And even about places I know. When I don’t know a place, an industry, or a time in history, I research it very, very carefully, and I have a wonderful researcher I have worked with for my whole career, so she teaches me about the places, industries, and periods of history I don’t know. The whole process is a labor of love.

And for those of you who want me to sign your books, I wish I could. But it would be too complicated to send them all back to people all over the world. I get fan mail through the website of my publisher at daniellesteel.com and if you ask for a signed photograph, I can send you that, autographed to whoever you want. I’m sorry I can’t sign your books!!

You have all proven to me that why I did this website originally was a good idea. Because I do so few interviews, and like keeping a low profile, I felt that I had so little opportunity to ‘chat’ and connect with you on a more personal level, to share my thoughts, and personal experiences with you. It is so wonderful to know that you enjoy sharing that with me, that you enjoy this blog, and that what I write is meaningful to you. thank you for your wonderful comments, for your kindness to me, and for being part of my life. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to me, and how much YOU mean to me. I am sooooo grateful for you!!!

love, danielle

1/6/14, Amazing New Year!

Posted on January 6, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I hope your New Year has been terrific so far, and that the  holidays were fun or at least satisfactory, and now we can look ahead to the New Year!!!

The year is young and I’ve already had some wonderful surprises. I shared with you my mixed emotions about New Year’s eve, which never measures up to what I hope it will be, which is true for a lot of people. Well, this year, it sure did measure up, and then some!!. Two of my children wound up being home with me, from the other cities where they live, and they very sweetly decided to spend New Year’s eve with me, which was a VERY nice surprise. I had been planning to just cash it in this year, and climb into my pajamas and watch re-runs of Downton Abbey, and go to sleep. But my kids spending that night with me was a terrific surprise. And two of my other local children decide to join us for New Year’s eve. (I haven’t spent New Year’s eve with my children for about 15 years, since understandably they had more exciting things to do on New Year’s eve than spend it with me!!). So instead of curling up with my two Chihuahuas, and watching TV as planned, I got to spend the evening with four of my kids. They cooked a delicious dinner, and shopped for it before, made all of my favorites, they set the table beautifully, arranged flowers, and I got to spend the evening with the people I love. We laughed and talked over dinner, were joined by one daughter’s husband, my son’s fiancée, the boy who has become part of our family for the past 13 years and lived with us when he was in school, and two of their friends dropped by after dinner. We played silly games after dinner and laughed a lot, and thanks to my children, the evening combined elegance, delicious food, a loving group, and good fun and lots of laughs. What could be better??? I can honestly say it was the best New Year’s eve of my life, and I’d have to go a long, long way to match this one!!! There’s no question, the home team is best, and part of what made it so special was that it was so unexpected. At their age, in their early and mid 20’s, most people don’t want to spend New Year’s eve with their mother, so it was a real gift of love from them. It was really terrific!!!

The next morning, on New Year’s morning, I was sad to see my daughters leave, and to see the holidays end. It was a warm, cozy family holiday this year, and it’s rare for all of us to be together. But we were all together on Christmas this year and my children from other cities spent almost two weeks at home, which was the best gift of all. On New Year’s morning, they left at the crack of dawn, and the house seemed sadly empty, just me and the dogs…..but before I had time to get seriously glum about it, I got an email with another big surprise. Twelve years ago, I received a great honour from the French government, and was decorated (got a beautiful medal!!) and knighted as an ‘Officer’ or the Order of Arts and Letters in France, which is a big honor, and I was truly thrilled. It was in honour of my writing career and many books, and the decoration and all that it signifies has meant a great deal to me, since I have spent a lot of my life in France. And on New Year’s morning, I got the astounding news that I am going to be decorated for a second time, and ‘knighted’ again, this time with the prestigious Legion of Honor, also in France. It’s the most important decoration in France, and it’s more for lifetime achievement, and the things you have accomplished in your life, my writing, I guess, the two foundations I have founded to assist the homeless and the mentally ill, and to prevent suicide and child abuse, and perhaps for my involvement in the arts, and now in music. It has been given to some very impressive people, few Americans, and not many women. And no matter who you are, and what you’ve done, when you get a big award like that, your first reaction (or mine anyway) is—Who? ME??? I am so very grateful for such an honour, and REALLY thrilled!!! There will be a ceremony sometime in the next few months to give me the medal, and hopefully my family and the people I love will be there.
So the year is off to a great start, I got to start it with the children I love, and I got a wonderful honour…..I hope it’s an omen of a good year to come. And I hope that your year ahead will be AMAZING!!!

With much love, danielle

12/30/13, Unexpected Gifts and Guests

Posted on December 30, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Well the year is drawing to a close. It’s been a year of hard work, a lot of writing, a lot of travelling back and forth between the two cities/countries where I live, time with my kids whenever possible, and some lovely times with them, some wins, some losses, and some home runs. It’s been a challenging year for some who are happy to see the year end. And we all seem to work harder than we used to, in a much tougher economy. There is a seriousness to that, which none of us can ignore or avoid, the hard economic times touch us all. And on a personal level, my youngest son got engaged, so we’ll have a wedding in the family next year.

Christmas was hectic, but wonderful, and as I ponder it, I realize how many blessings came my way. As I said in an earlier blog, I feel lucky and blessed. I got home, I didn’t get snowed in or delayed along the way, not always a sure thing this time of year. I had Christmas gatherings with good friends in Paris, and San Francisco, which allowed me to see some friends I hadn’t seen all year, which is always fun. And I realize how lucky I was that all of my kids were with me on Christmas, which wasn’t the original plan. It’s not easy to get everyone together, and although my five youngest planned to be with me on Christmas, it’s more challenging for the three older ones, with in laws, their own plans, and families of their own. This year, all three of my older married children decided not to celebrate with us, which was disappointing for me, but understandable, and I made my peace with it. In years past, it was easier and everyone was here. Now it’s sometimes touch and go as to who can come, and I am very, very grateful to have as many of them with me as can make it. And I resigned myself to not having my three older children with us for the holidays. I tried not to be too disappointed, and tried to be philosophical about it and let it go. That left me with the younger 5 kids, and usually their boyfriends and girlfriends go home to their own families. But this year, all their significant others were able to join us, so our group grew. Then, I discovered that my son in law’s mother was able to join us too, which was a lot of fun. A few days before Christmas, two of the three missing older ones decided to change their plans and come, which was great news. And one of them announced that she was bringing her parents in law, more good news since I like them very much. The children’s father’s first wife joins us for Christmas every year and brings her terrific now 95 year old mother with her, who is a surrogate grandmother to my children. This year, she announced that she was bringing her best friend, another 95 year old lady, and they were the stars of the show. Both are in great shape, still beautiful, go out to parties all the time and travel, and have a busier social life than I do. So we had two very lively 95 year old women as part of the group for Christmas. And fifteen minutes before dinner, my oldest son called with a change of plans, and decided to come home for dinner too. So presto magic, our group of thirteen for dinner on Christmas night grew to 27. The age range at dinner was from 6 to 95. And it was an important lesson for me. I was willing to accept that not all of my children would be with us, and tried not to make an issue of it, and then unexpectedly, at the last minute, all of them came home, and I was so grateful to have Christmas with them, their spouses, significant others, in laws, and even a 95 year old friend. It was a big blessing for me, and a reminder that life sometimes gives you unexpected gifts, and abundance you didn’t even dare to hope for. It was a very happy Christmas as a result, we had dinner together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and a good time hanging around in pajamas, crowded into the kitchen eating leftovers after opening gifts on Christmas Day. So it was a merry Christmas here this year. And like any family, there were a few crabby moments, the usual holiday tensions when people get tired and stressed, but on the whole, a good time was had by all, and the blessings of the season touched us all. » read more »

12/23/13. Busy Days

Posted on December 23, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Whew….this is the week when every year I speed through 3 cities and 2 countries in the space of a few days, in order to get home for Christmas with my children. In theory, Christmas is a happy time of year, although sometimes we get so buried in the details of it, that we forget the bigger picture, the meaning of the holidays (if you believe in those meanings), and forget to be grateful for what we do have, rather than regretful or even resentful of what we don’t. I am always grateful to get home. The weather can be dicey in both Paris and New York in December, and I always worry about getting snowed in, in either city, and missing the holiday with my family entirely. And being too busy too much of the time, and usually working til the last minute, I worry that I might get sick, catch a flu and be unable to fly. And although I flirted with some kind of bug before I came home, nothing much came of it, so I was able to fly. I stop in New York on the way home for Christmas, to celebrate the birthday of one of my daughters who was born a week before Christmas. So I was happy to spend a day with her in New York on the way home, which is always a treat for me. And it was freezing in New York.

So laden like a beast of burden, with a suitcase full of gifts (which broke and exploded at the airport, but fortunately nothing got lost, but I had to replace the suitcase in New York), and my two dogs in their traveling bags, I boarded the plane in Paris, and whipped through New York, and got home in time for Christmas, and everything I need to do before. I pride myself on being a very organized person, and my whole family makes fun of me because I start Christmas shopping in August, but I have a lot of kids and people to buy presents for, so I like to get an early start, and hate the last minute rush. But no matter how organized I am, there are always people I have forgotten, things that don’t arrive, last minute requests from my kids, so I end up rushing as much as anyone else. » read more »

12/16/13, True Confessions, or Blue Confessions

Posted on December 16, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Okay. I have a confession to make. And if you’re expecting something juicy and sexy, you’ll be disappointed. I indulged myself shockingly about 2 months ago, and it has taken me 2 months to confess it. But now, here I go.

Two years ago now, before Thanksgiving, I was looking to find a dog to travel with me. I had been looking for months, and needed a very small dog that I could take on and off planes, in a travel bag in the cabin.Minnie And eventually, after months of searching, true love happened. I fell in love with a TINY (less than one pound) white long haired Chihuahua that was the cutest thing I have ever seen. As an aside, I find that once adult, or perhaps as young adults, children take a hard line with their parents. My children’s mantra is “You don’t need that!” Oh. Whatever it may be. Another purse in a weird color, another pair of high heeled black shoes (a woman can never have too many pairs of black shoes, particularly high heels), some piece of furniture I decide I want….or even a person I want in my life, as friend, employee, or other. In their opinion, a parent is a loving service bureau, with a crisis hot line 24/7. We don’t really need a social life, even less a man if we’re single, besides that would only interfere with our availability. We need to be poised at the ready at all times, and anything you do that could distract from that poses a threat to them. So forget boyfriends, high heels, a silly dress you want desperately, friends in some cases, and other distractions. You are to be standing ready to leap, fully focused at all times. In the case of the adorable white chihuahua I fell in love with, only one daughter (of all my kids, and I have many) was supportive of my getting her. The others were all outraged. What do you need a dog for? The idea that a parent might be lonely, sad, need company, or need even a doggie pal to talk to after the kids grow up and leave is totally foreign to them. It’s not mean-spirited, I suspect, it just never occurs to them that you might be lonely or have needs too, other than just being a parent. MinnieIn any case, I bravely ignored their stern critical comments and disapproval, was grateful for the support of the one daughter, and fell totally in love with Minnie Mouse, my adorable white Chihuahua, who is now 2 years old, one of the great dog loves of my life, terrific company and super affectionate, and weighs 2 pounds full grown. She is totally pampered and loved, (has a ridiculous wardrobe of tiny pink sweaters) and makes me happy. She has kept me company on many a long, lonely night, and travels everywhere with me. (you can read all about her and my other dogs over the years in my current little gift book “Pure Joy”, which came out last month, and is a fun gift for any dog lover. I love that little book and am very proud of it. And it has 40 photos in it, of my dogs and my kids’ dogs, and some dogs I have given to friends).

Fast forward the film 2 years to this past October, almost exactly 2 years after I found Minnie in a pet shop in NY. I was doing an errand for one of my daughters, and on a whim, “for old times’ sake”, I stopped in at the same pet store, “just to look”. “Just to look” at anything usually turns out to be a lie. Somewhere in my heart of hearts, there must have been a tiny window open, just big enough for a new puppy. Oh oh. Big Uh oh!!! I’d been back to that pet store before, for supplies, and saw the usual cute puppies, none of whom snagged my heart. But they know me at that store, and just as they did with Minnie, two years before, they came out of the back room carrying a 14 oz., eight week old short haired “Blue” Chihuahua (a kind of steely blue gray, a very rare color). She was ridiculously small, and once again looked like a mouse. I held her for a few minutes, and whereas Minnie had been timid and shy, this puppy was adventuresome and brave and funny, and fearless once we set her down. And I started falling in love, while telling myself I didn’t need another dog, and that managing two dogs on my travels might be too much. I tried hard to cling to reason (with little success). I mentioned her to my children that night, who were unanimous this time. The consensus was that I was nuts, don’t even think about it. I got NO family support about the new puppy. None. I was told to forget it. And honestly, I tried. For three days the little blue gray chihuahua puppy haunted me, and not only did I have my children’s disapproval to deal with, but my guilt toward Minnie, who had become the princess in my life. How would she feel about it? I did the only possible thing, I lied to everyone, including Minnie. I went back and saw the puppy again before I left New York, with one of my daughters who was adamant. You don’t need her. DON’T do it. So I paid for the puppy in secret and told no one. She had to stay at the pet shop for a month because she was too young and too small to go home. I literally told no one what I had done. And surely not my kids. I didn’t even mention it to you on this blog. For a whole month, I said nothing, and then it was time to bring her home.Blue_3ABaby Blue Angel She didn’t have all of her vaccinations yet, so I couldn’t take her to France yet, and had to send her home to California, which required admitting my dark secret to a kind employee, who promised to take care of her until I came home. And because she is officially ‘blue”, I named her Baby Blue Angel. I should have called her Blue Secret. » read more »

Filed Under Dogs, Family, Kids | 10 Comments

12/9/13, Ladies’ Lunch

Posted on December 9, 2013

Hi Everyone,

I hope December is off to a good start for you, with the drumbeat of the holidays approaching, the things we love about them, and the things that concern us. I’m still frantically looking for last minute gifts for my kids. It was a lot easier when new bicycles and special dolls were the order of the day!!! I was remembering the other day that we used to hide all their gifts in the basement (gifts for 9 kids!!), and would haul them all up four flights of stairs to the top floor of our house, after the kids went to sleep on Christmas eve. My husband and I would spend hours, dragging everything upstairs, and then assembling toys, playhouses, bikes. It was a lonnnggggggggg night with very little sleep, and it seemed like only minutes after we finally got to bed, when they’d all be awake , squealing with amazement and delight. It was a lot of work, but SOOOO much fun!!! It’s hard to reproduce that kind of excitement and innocence once they’re adults. We play a game after dinner now on Christmas eve, where everyone brings some small silly gifts to the table (as ridiculous as possible), and people get to choose them (I think you have to guess who brought the gift and if you guess right you get to keep it and get another turn, but future guessers get to steal the gift away from you if they want it and win their turn). It involves choosing, and then stealing a gift from the others. And it gets funnier and funnier as people steal totally absurd gifts from each other. The prize objects last year were a Chewbacca backpack that my youngest son refused to give up, and a monster hat my youngest daughter loved and kept stealing back until she got to keep it. We all laughed a lot and loved it. You find yourself doing battle over some crazy object you would never have wanted otherwise. I provided a book on swear words in several languages, which was highly prized!!! The lucky winner was then able to insult all of us in Russian and Japanese. It’s a funny game one of my daughters introduced to us a few years ago, and it’s a big hit. Although everyone is grown up now, we still leave out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer (all of which disappears by morning), and I still write everyone a letter from Santa, which they find with their stocking in the morning. And last year Santa left me a letter too!! It’s sweet hanging onto our old traditions, no matter how grown up they are!!! It reminds us all of the simpler days when they were younger. » read more »

12/2/13, Love Notes

Posted on December 2, 2013

 

Hi Everyone,

Exciting, fun news to share with you. The album of songs I’ve been telling you about for two years, finally came out last week, on both iTunes and Amazon, where you can buy and download either individual songs or the album.  It’s called “Love Notes by Danielle Steel”. There are 10 songs on the album, 6 in English and 4 in French. I wrote the lyrics, and three composers wrote the music, there are 2 singers (an American woman and a French man), and we worked with 7 musicians and 4 arrangers. It is VERY different working as part of a team, and writing song lyrics, than working all by myself to write a book. This was really team collaboration!! I hope you love the songs. I think they’re really good, and I hope you do too!!! Each one tells a story, some are love songs, the singers have beautiful voices, and the composers and musicians did a great job.  We have worked on this album for two years. And I’m very excited that it’s out now, and I can’t wait for you to hear our songs. Here are the links:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/love-notes-by-danielle-steel/id734080554     

http://amazon.to/18bDw0T

I hope you enjoy “Love Notes”!!!!

love, danielle

Filed Under Music, Paris | 3 Comments

Thankful

Posted on November 25, 2013

Hi everyone,

Here they come…. the holidays…..Thanksgiving is the first important moment of the holiday season, and even for those who try to avoid holidays, we are reminded of the busy, crazy days ahead, and holidays are not always easy. They are so often bittersweet for so many of us. We are not only grateful for the friends and family at our table, but also aware of those who are no longer there and sorely missed. In our family, my late son Nick, and my ex-husband and children’s father, who passed away two years ago. Even with a crowded table, we feel their absence. And my three oldest children no longer join us for holidays, and either spend them with their in laws, family in other cities, or in their own homes establishing traditions of their own. So whereas once, there were 9 children at our table, their father even long after we divorced, as we remained very close, now I spend thanksgiving with my five youngest children—–a huge blessing to be sure, but half the number at our table only a few years ago. It is a change, and makes Thanksgiving bittersweet.

For many, holidays are spent alone, without family, or among friends, or in aching solitude. The holidays often point out what we don’t have in our lives. And there are many ways to spend a holiday like Thanksgiving. For many, serving others less fortunate takes the sting out of their loneliness as they forget themselves and give to others. For those without relatives to spend the holiday with, we form a family made up of friends (who are sometimes easier to get along with than our relatives, and even more fun!!). And for many, the holidays are a challenge that is hard to face. We all spend the holidays differently, and it helps to remember what we are grateful for. » read more »

Homage to Marilyn Monroe, Life as an Object

Posted on November 18, 2013

Hi Everyone,

Sober thoughts today. Marilyn Monroe once said that once you are famous, you experience “Life as an Object”. What she was saying is that when you become famous, and are a public person, you cease to become a person in other people’s minds, and anything goes, you can be treated as an object or a thing, and they forget that you are actually a real live human being at the other end. It’s an interesting comment, and I have found it to be true, over the many years that I have been well known.

The internet has de-personalized the connection between people. People exist in greater isolation, many work at home on their computers and no longer work at an office, where they see people every day and have to relate to them in a humane way. People do things like Facebook and chat rooms, where they collect thousands of ‘friends’, people they don’t know and will never meet, but they are connected through their computer in a ‘virtual’ way. People date on line or by text, they connect and disconnect, start ‘relationships’ and end them, all virtual and not real. Young women have talked to me about being proposed to by text or on line, and dumped just as quickly by text, with no human contact, no phone call, no sound of the other person’s voice. And at the most extreme end, kids and even some adults play video games which ‘kill’ the players virtually, and then shocking public crimes replicate those games and many real people die. I’m not of the old school that television corrupts our kids, or is the source of violence in America, but I do think that the lack of real human connection on these new ‘cyber’ opportunities has had a MAJOR impact on how people relate to each other, connect or don’t, how they behave, what they do, what they say, and they lose sight of the fact that there is a real live human being at the other end. It is something to think about. Sometimes it is better to simply pick up the phone and have a conversation, have an immediate exchange, rather than nuking someone and shooting off a sometimes vicious email in the heat of the moment, when all you have to do is write it and hit the Send button. No one hears the other person’s voice anymore, everything is conducted by email and text. » read more »

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