Archive for 2016

4/4/16, “Compassion”

Posted on April 4, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is well with you. I’m having a serious moment. When very serious or bad things happen, it sometimes takes me a while to talk about them. I have to digest them first. And some things take longer than others. I am feeling rocked to the core by the act of terrorism that occurred in Brussels on March 22nd. Destruction of that nature is so huge, as an act, a message, and in its results, that it’s hard to get one’s mind around it. The recent acts of terrorism in Paris last November were like that, so shocking, such a wake up call (but to what?) that it sombered the city, the country, and the world, as we witnessed the events and the results on TV. There is something mesmerizing as well as heart breaking about events of that nature. You can’t tear yourself away from it once you start watching, as again and again you ask yourself why. And now it has happened again in Brussels, in Pakistan, in other countries, a steady stream of attacks on innocent people. And I have discovered now that as we read the statistics, we don’t fully understand what they mean. We read the death toll with horror and grief for the families and loved ones of those who died, and sadness and relief about the numbers of injured, thinking that at least they survived. But survival is no longer so simple with the kind of bombs and weapons that are used. And sometimes the event comes tragically close to home. This time it did for me and my family.

Among those wounded at the airport that was blown up in Brussels was a 16 year old member of my family, a young girl left in devastating condition, still alive, in a coma and hanging by a thread. Her body riddled with shrapnel and metal from the explosion, her internal organs damaged, limbs injured, her face and body burned. Suddenly this is not just news or a statistic or a video, or a political act that makes no sense. Suddenly it is a child, a loved one, family, and for some a friend. It becomes an act that is all too real and makes no sense. Women, children, babies, young people, men, their lives destroyed or forever affected by those who wish to deliver a message, an angry statement and hurt us by killing or injuring the people we love. It is shattering to think about, and not what we expect of our fellow humans, this wanton destruction of young lives, and even old ones. It truly makes no sense.

My heart aches as I share this with you. I have no message, no conclusion, no answers, no solutions. No idea how the world can turn back to something more civilized and humane again. I have never focused on politics personally or professionally. I care about people, families, children, the human race. I try to live and write about a message of hope, that transcends the hard things that happen to us. Losing someone we love is always hard to understand. But losing loved ones, or seeing them so devastatingly injured so needlessly, so wrongly, so cruelly and wastefully shocks us to our core. Not knowing what else to do, I turn to prayer at times like this, and I turn to you, baffled, saddened, crying, confused. How can this happen? How can something so wrong take place again and again, all over the world? As Mother Theresa said, “We cannot do great things, only small ones, with a great deal of love”. I pray for you, for your families and your loved ones, for your safety and well-being. I pray for wisdom in those who would hurt us, for compassion among all of us, for lives to be saved not lost. And I pray for the child of our family, that she may live and be whole again. I pray for your protection, for all our protection from acts of terrorism and hate. May there be more light and love and hope in the world.
With all my love, Danielle

3/28/16, Robin Rocks!!

Posted on March 28, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a lovely Easter, if that’s something you celebrate, or maybe even got to organize an Easter Egg Hunt, if you have little kids, or dyed some eggs in cool colors. This is the first year that I didn’t spend at least 2 weeks after Easter with purple, pink, red, green and blue fingers, from dyeing Easter eggs. I miss it!! That’s always so much fun. I had brunch with my children, which is how I like to spend it, a quiet, low key day, with an excuse to spend time with my kids. When I was a little kid, my parents gave a very fancy Easter brunch for their friends, everyone got very dressed up and there was dancing with a band. I used to dance with my father, which was fun for me, and my mother always wore a fabulous hat for Easter, the lunch they gave was very formal. She was very beautiful, and I always remember the gorgeous hats she wore. She had been a model, and was a very striking looking, remarkably beautiful woman all her life, and her hats were very glamourous!!! No one gets that dressed up for Easter anymore, but it was fun then.

I had THE MOST WONDERFUL experience a week ago. About once a year, if I’m very, very lucky, I get invited to be on Good Morning America, to promote one of my books, and the best part of it is being interviewed by Robin Roberts, who is truly one of THE NICEST people I’ve ever met. She exudes warmth and kindness, and is truly one of those people who just shines from within. She makes the guest feel totally at ease, warm and comfortable, and interviews you so kindly that she makes you feel ten feet tall, and so at ease you can put your best foot forward. Many interviewers have big egos, and the show is really more about them, and they are not particularly warm and cozy with their guests. Robin makes you feel like the most special person in the world. She is an absolutely beautiful woman, and she makes the whole experience fun and happy and exciting, you feel like a fairy princess for the minutes that you’re on.

The whole positive experience begins from the minute you arrive at the show, everything is set up to perfection, the producers are kind and welcoming, their assistants equally so, and then, there is the absolutely fantastic experience of sharing a few minutes with Robin. She makes every moment you are with her fun.

I had to be at the studio at 7:45 am, which is about a half hour from my hotel. So I had to leave the hotel on a snowy day at 7:15 am, and in order to be ‘camera ready’, the hair and makeup people came to my hotel at 4 am—-after I had just flown in the day before from Paris, so I looked and felt bleary eyed at 4am while getting my make up done. But by the time you get to the show, and stand in Robin’s remarkable aura, you no longer care how early you got up, how little sleep you had, how tired you are, it’s all worth it when you’re at the show with her!!!

I can’t say enough about Robin’s kindness, I have enjoyed the interview every time we’ve met, and I just hope I am lucky enough to see her again sometime soon. And until then, as my children would say, She ROCKS!!!! I just had to share that with you!!!

love, Danielle

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3/21/16, Resurrected, Refreshed, Reborn

Posted on March 21, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is well with you. Unless one has young, school age children, or is religious, I know that the Easter holiday isn’t always a big event in the States. It’s a bigger deal in Europe, in the Catholic countries, where everyone has Good Friday and Good Monday off, so it becomes at least a 4 day weekend. My two youngest children attended a Jesuit university in the US, and even there they didn’t get Good Friday or Monday off, and it was just a normal weekend. And although religion has always been an important part of my life, it’s a very personal choice, and I don’t press it on my readers. For both family and religious reasons, I love everything about Christmas and what it stands for, and getting my family together for Christmas. And although we enjoy Easter too, I think that the symbolism of Easter is an important one, whether one is religious or not. The essence of Easter, and the ‘high point’, the whole point, is ‘resurrection’, the rebirth, the rising from the ashes, from an extremely dark time, into rebirth and renewal. I cherish the reminder every year, and love to share it with you, while I remind myself of what it means. » read more »

3/14/16, Hermes/Chanel

Posted on March 14, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is fine, doing well, and enjoying some decent weather somewhere. I am ready for some warmer spring weather, but not finding it in any of the cities where I live. When is winter going to be over? (I’ve seen snow in Paris twice recently, some big gorgeous lacy snowflakes. And several days of hail!!). Spring soon please!!!

In the meantime, this is the time of year, when I get to indulge my frivolous side with the ready to wear fashion shows. And they are fun!! I reported on the Celine show last week, which was very ‘fashion’, as the French say, much of it oversized and avant garde, which makes it not so easy to wear, but looks great on the right people.

The next fashion show I went to was the Hermes show, a distinguished, very elegant brand, best known for its leather goods: handbags and shoes (they even make gorgeous saddles for horses, and are also famous for their elegant riding gear and equipment). Their handbags are the most coveted and desirable in the world, with their 2 most famous styles of handbags being the Kelly, made famous by Grace Kelly, Princess Grace of Monaco, and the Birkin bag, made famous by the model Jane Birkin. Those two bags are the most desired in the world, sometimes with a very long waiting list to obtain them, and with astounding resale value at auction. Hermes limits the number of bags sold, and people sometimes wait several years for either of those styles in the size or color they want them. They are an enormous status symbol worldwide in the world of luxury goods. An Hermes bag is a sure way to a woman’s heart!!! In addition to their famous bags, they make beautiful silk scarves, men’s and women’s clothing (some incredible alligator coats and jackets). They make household objects as well. And they have had a new women’s clothing designer for the past year. Their fashion show was at the stables of the police cavalry, in a beautiful old building, with the inner space decorated with lacquer stages, with the models walking around them, in simple wool clothing for the most part, in soft neutral colors. It was a very pretty show, attended mostly by the fashion press, and store buyers. Only twenty major clients were invited, among them Kris (Kardashian) Jenner, whom I sat next to, and enjoyed meeting immensely. She is a lovely, warm, very appealing person, and I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with her during the show. » read more »

3/7/16, Paris Fashion

Posted on March 7, 2016

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for your patience with me, after weeks of writing, (and a few days off for a bad cold), I’ve surfaced and am back in the human race, although not for long. I’m just taking a short break, and then will go back to writing again. But in the meantime, I’ve had some time to enjoy some of my children visiting me. I always feel lucky to share time with them!!!

I got my nose out of my typewriter just in time for Paris Fashion Week: the big ready to wear shows in Paris that highlight fashions for next fall/winter. And the fashion world is buzzing with gossip these days, after a number of recent changes. The House of Dior parted company with their designer recently, and is looking for a new one to design ready to wear and haute couture, that’s a mammoth job, doing both, with several collections a year. Lanvin parted company with their designer too and are also looking for a new one. The designer at Saint Laurent is also leaving. There are rumors that Karl Lagerfeld might retire from Chanel next summer, which will be major fashion news if that happens (I hope it doesn’t!! I want Karl to stay where he is forever. He’s too good to lose!!). And there are always rumors about the other houses and designers, trying to guess who might be leaving. So fashion is a game of musical chairs these days. So this is a slightly unsettled season. It was also the first fashion week since the attacks in Paris last November, and I think many Americans were afraid to come to Paris, because the crowds were a little thinner than usual. But the city put their best foot forward, and there is a great deal of security everywhere in Paris now, at every fashion show, and in every store, bags are opened and the contents checked, wands to check for metal or weapons are in use, and there are a lot of security guards in evidence, which is all a good thing and reassuring.

I began my fashion week at the Celine fashion show in a tennis club in the park, at lunchtime on Sunday. Their show is always held there, and we sat in bleacher rows as all the notables of fashion walked in. The Queen herself: Anna Wintour, the Editor in Chief of Vogue, with her signature bobbed hair, and dark glasses—-looking glamourous and beautifully put together on Sunday morning with sparkles on what she was wearing., Grace Coddington, also an editor of Vogue with her signature mane of flaming red hair, sat down in the same row as Anna Wintour and the American Ambassador to Paris, Jane Hartley, sat a few seats down, with Wendy Murdoch between them. People are there to see what’s coming up in fashion for next season—-the stores then order the clothes in advance and we’ll see them in stores next fall. But first, all the fanfare of the fashion show. The show began with the usual beautiful models (mostly in their late teens) pounding down the runway in flowing but clinging dresses, cocoon shaped jackets and coats, comfortable looking sandals and footwear, some belted coats, some very fluid looking dresses, everything beautifully made, and exciting to see coming down the runway. I will admit that I felt most of it would look great on my daughters, but less so on me. It really wasn’t my look, and was a little more fashion forward than what I can get away with. I tend to wear more classic clothes, and less avant garde. But Phoebe Philo the designer at Celine has a fantastic eye and sense of fashion, and it’s exciting to see what she produces. My daughters went to the show with me and loved it. Lots of whites and earth tones, some gold, and some striking pieces in black. And everyone was talking about how great the collection was when they left. We really enjoyed it, and it’s always an honor to be there, since the event is invitation only, and mostly attended by buyers and the fashion press. With a smattering of celebrities and movie stars thrown in for good measure.

It was all very fun to see, and fashion week isn’t over yet. There will be lots more shows to see and comments to make, and guesses about which designers will be going to work where, and which designer had the best show. The hubbub was tremendous as always, and we all left having gotten a bird’s eye view of what lay ahead. Stay tuned…..more shows to come!!!

love, Danielle

2/29/16, Happy Leap Year

Posted on February 29, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope it’s been a good week since I last wrote to you!! Today is leap year—or is it Leap Day?
I’m sure there is some very adult, astral explanation for why we get an extra day on our calendar once every four years. But the only one I’ve ever known is that on leap year, on the 29th of February, a woman can propose (marriage) to a man and she doesn’t have to wait for him to come up with the idea!!! Now I’m not entirely clear if a woman can only propose on February 29th, or does she get a pass to do it all year on a leap year? I suppose we could stretch the rules on that one!!! Why not? And get a pass all year!!! It’s interesting that, no matter how modern we’ve become, how feminist, or liberated, it still seems to be the tradition in traditional couples that a man is supposed to propose, and a woman is supposed to wait till he does, and I think even modern women stick with that tradition. I’ve never known a woman who proposed marriage to a man, but I’m sure there are some out there who have!! And proposals, among any and all couples of all sexes, are a BIG deal and a lot of planning goes into them, when and how, in what meaningful location, what special day, it’s a very important moment in one’s life and a memorable day. Some proposals are a big surprise, and unexpected, in other cases, the one being proposed to suspects it’s coming, but may not know exactly when. The current generation has an aversion to being ‘cheesy’. I was proposed to twice on Valentine’s Day and loved it, but when I’ve suggested it to younger friends, they make a horrible face and think that’s a terrible idea. Actually, several of the recent proposals I’ve heard about of people in their 30’s happened outdoors on a walk or a hike, which is nice for people who like the outdoors. Valentine’s Day at a dinner table (or in one case, at a fancy lunch) was more my style—I wouldn’t want to have to hike up a mountain to get engaged!!!

Which brings us back to leap day. If your true love didn’t propose on Valentine’s Day, if you’re a woman and holding back for that reason, you have a perfect opportunity on Leap Day!!! I think the Irish are very big on Leap Day. I’m not sure if they started the tradition or just enjoy it. There is a very cute romantic comedy called “Leap Year” with Amy Adams and Matthew Goode, (and yes, okay, it might qualify as a chick flick), about a Leap Year/Leap Day proposal. It’s a sweet movie and I really like it. I love romantic comedies when I just want to relax.

I’m not sure I’d have the courage to propose to a man, but who knows, maybe I would in the right circumstances (not on a hike though!!). And as much as some people are skittish about marriage these days, and either wait longer than they used to, or don’t do it at all, people still do get married, in all kinds of combinations and configurations, and The Proposal remains a major event in one’s life. So if Valentine’s Day didn’t pan out this year, then go for the Leap Year window of opportunity, and if you miss Leap Day, you can have a pass all year!! Whatever works, and whatever makes you happy. And for those of you brave enough to try it, Hurray!!! And good luck!!

I hope it works out just the way you want it to.

love, Danielle

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2/15/16, Busy Writing!

Posted on February 16, 2016

I’m working hard on a new book, so have a wonderful week and check back with me next Monday!

love, Danielle

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2/8/16, Generosity & Forgiveness

Posted on February 8, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy, writing, changing cities, seeing my kids, keeping up with life. Probably you’re busy too!!!

I don’t usually respond to comments on the blog, but now and then one snags me, and I can’t help but chime in. And one of those caught my eye recently, when someone wrote in “Forgiveness and generosity are not accessible to everyone”. And another person commenting on the blog strongly disagreed—–and I so agree with him. The beauty of both forgiveness and generosity is that they ARE accessible, and possible, and even vital for everyone!!! Personally, I don’t think you can have a decent relationship with anyone, a parent, a spouse, a lover, a co-worker, a boss, a friend, a child without being willing to forgive. And I know, sometimes it is VERY hard. There are a few people who hurt me so badly in my lifetime that it will be, and has been, a life’s work to forgive them. But the person carrying the heaviest burden is the one unwilling to forgive. No marriage works without forgiveness, no friendship, no relationship. I think it’s one of the most important gifts between two people, and that one can give: forgiveness. We don’t even have to invite those people back into our lives, hang around with them, have them over for dinner, but we do have to be able to forgive in order to go on with our lives in a healthy way, in freedom from the burdens of the past. It is in our power to forgive and well worth the hard work it takes sometimes to let go of anger and resentment and forgive. The forgiveness we extend to others blesses us every time.

And generosity is within our abilities as well. Generosity is accessible to everyone!! Not money, not a check, although sometimes that is certainly welcome, but the gift of time, of oneself, helping a friend with a move, a problem, a project, sometimes just listening, calling someone you know is having a hard time, or lonely, or sick, or giving them something you love but know would mean a lot to them. There are so many ways to be generous, which can mean so much to others. I have never forgotten the people who reached out to me when I was having a hard time. A gift like that can light up your day, or your life, or change your whole outlook.

Right off the top of my head, three examples come to mind. My oldest daughter had a Moped accident when she was fourteen. At first it just seemed like a very nasty scrape with some cuts and bruises on her leg, but it rapidly became a much bigger deal with an infection that went into her bone and up her leg, and she nearly lost her leg, and endured seven years of surgeries, intense pain, nerve damage, physical therapy, wheel chairs and crutches until she was well again. A year after the accident, one of her doctors suggested that she do some volunteer work with people more unfortunate than she was. At 15, she volunteered to work with children with cancer, undergoing chemotherapy. She stuck with it for many years, loved the kids she met, and found that she had a real gift for working with them. In the summers, she volunteered to work at a camp for kids with cancer, and did that for many years. She directed her studies toward that kind of work, got several graduate degrees and eventually became a social worker and therapist in pediatric oncology, and has had an impressive career in that field. Her incredible generosity with her time, at a time when she was in so much pain herself led to a lifelong passion and a remarkable career. And years later, when I was devastated over the loss of my son and the disintegration of my marriage, her shining example led me to do the homeless outreach work on the streets that changed my life and brought help to many, and immeasurable joy to me.

When thinking about unexpected generosity at a dark time, I remembered a time when I went to an antique shop to look around. I couldn’t afford anything in the shop at the time, I knew the antique dealer slightly, and I was having a hard time just then, and my spirits were somewhere in my socks. He must have sensed it or seen it, and I looked at a beautiful little miniature antique painted desk. It was just a lovely piece, and I would have loved to have it, but I couldn’t even consider it. It was quite an expensive piece. I went home, and the next day, a gift arrived: it was the beautiful little desk, given to me as a gift by the owner of the shop. It was an incredible gift, I was totally stunned, and no one has EVER given me such an amazing gift, before or since. It was pure generosity and kindness. I was overwhelmed by it, and so grateful for the enormously generous gesture. The desk is still in my living room, and I think of how it came to me every time I look at it. It was really a gift of love that warms my heart still.

The other example that came to me was my friend and mentor, Alex Haley. He wrote the book “Roots”, and was an icon and a legend. He was one of the kindest, most generous men I have ever known, always giving to others, always taking time to listen to them. He couldn’t do enough for people, and he had an incredible, compassionate way about him. People stopped him everywhere he went, he was an inspiration to many, and people wanted to talk to him. Going anywhere with him was a challenge, because every five minutes someone wanted to touch him, or meet him, or tell him their life stories. And it always struck me about him how generous he was, giving of himself. No matter how rushed, or busy, or tired he was, he would stop and talk to them, and seemed as though he had waited a lifetime to meet them, and had nothing else to do. They walked away afterwards, feeling ten feet tall after he gave them his full attention, and made each one feel like they were the most important person world. He was so humble, which was a true sign of greatness, and so generous with his time, and heart and soul.

I’m as crabby as the next person, and there are days when I fall short of what I hope to be, when I don’t take enough time with others, or am grumpy when things go wrong. And then I remember these generous acts and generous people….whether it’s with a cup of coffee, or five minutes, or a smile, or the gift of a book we love, or a touch of the hand at the right time, we can all be generous. It’s a gift that any of us can give, and generosity is indeed accessible to us all.

This coming Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and I hope it turns out just the way you want, with the person you want to be with, and the way you want it to unfold. I hope wonderful surprises are in store for you. I hope all your dreams come true. And just know that all of you are my Valentines every day!!

love, Danielle

2/1/16, Karl Does it Again!

Posted on February 1, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is well with you!! I had a fun week last week, saw friends, went to a movie premiere of a film produced by a friend, about an in-school project, trying to discourage racial and religious discrimination among school age children. A really worthy subject, particularly in France, given the current tensions. One of my daughters had to work in Paris for a week, and as always, I really enjoyed her company, as I do all my children. She was busy, but it’s always nice seeing my kids coming and going out of my home, and living under the same roof with me, although it’s never for long enough!!! But I’m grateful for the time I get, and we managed to have dinner together twice.

The Big Event in Paris last week was Haute Couture week, which is only a 3 day event now. I’ve mentioned to you before that it used to be an entire week of fashion shows by important designers, running from one show to the next to see fabulous clothes modelled on the runway. Now there are only two important haute couture houses left: Dior and Chanel, and a handful of less known designers. And one very glamourous one: Elie Saab who makes beautiful sexy evening gowns, but since I don’t wear them and don’t have a life that requires them, I’ve never gone to their show. I wear less elaborate clothes, that I can wear in the daytime, or for an informal dinner out. I have a closet full of evening gowns that I never, or rarely, wear anymore, and am saving them for my daughters. Some are quite beautiful, and are even museum pieces, made by designers who either don’t do them anymore, or are no longer alive. Most of what I’ve saved, of haute couture, is by Dior, Givenchy, Balmain (when it was still a couture house), and Chanel. They are gorgeous clothes for daytime and evening, by remarkable designers, who were really great artists. Hubert de Givenchy, who is still alive though retired, and a cherished friend—-designed Audrey Hepburn’s private wardrobe, and for all her films. He is the last truly great gentleman and an amazing man, with unlimited talent. At the time when I bought a lot of Christian Dior Haute Couture, it was designed by Gianfranco Ferre, an Italian designer, who was replaced by John Galliano (British). I used to buy a lot of Balmain Haute Couture (and still have all of it, and the clothes by Dior), when it was designed by Oscar de la Renta, who eventually retired from Balmain to continue his own brand, and died last year, much to my sorrow. And Chanel ready to wear and Haute Couture is designed by Karl Lagerfeld (he’s German), he is a powerhouse of creative genius and astounding energy, and still designs for three brands at eighty five. The extent and level of his talent is amazing and dazzling. He is constantly ahead of his time, and sets the fashions. His ready to wear shows are the biggest in fashion, presenting more looks than anyone else (Over 100 each time, most designers show about 30 looks now). One interesting side bar is that I bought Haute Couture over many years, for a long time. My grandmother bought it for me when I married in my teens. My mother in law very generously gave me some pieces when I was married to her son. And once I ‘grew up’ and became successful I bought it for myself, and sometimes even a lot of it. But the prices then (and not that long ago) were the same or less than what ready to wear clothes cost now. The price of Haute Couture today is enormous, and nothing like the more reasonable prices of a decade or two ago. And designers I knew well sometimes sold me samples, with evening gowns that were exquisite for less than a ready to wear wool jacket or coat would cost today. Much of what is shown on the runway in Haute Couture shows now is never made. It is simply part of the show and ‘spectacle’, as publicity for the house that made them. There are very few buyers for Haute Couture today, due to the more casual lifestyle now, and with the high prices, there are far fewer people around the world who can afford it. But for me, it has always been a form of art. I studied fashion design at Parsons in New York, and it’s a thrill to see an haute couture show even if I don’t buy it. It is a true art form, and in a way the summit of fashion. » read more »

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1/18/16, “Blue”

Posted on January 18, 2016

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is okay with you, and that life is treating you well, good things are happening, and you’re even having some fun!!

Tomorrow, January 19, is an exciting day for me: my new hardcover “Blue” is coming out. I’ve been looking forward to this book. It’s about a homeless boy, and about finding hope when you least expect it, long after you’ve given up hope. On a snowy night, sleeping in a small tool cupboard, barely big enough for his body, a thirteen year old homeless boy named Blue (because of the vibrant blue color of his eyes) meets a woman who champions his causes, believes in him, won’t let him give up, fights some important battles with and for him, truly cares about him, and changes the course of his life. The woman who befriends him had given up hope herself. After losing her husband and son in a car accident, she is alone in the world….until she meets Blue. I wont tell you the rest, but there are surprises in the book, some serious challenges, some dark secrets, and twists and turns. The woman who befriends Blue is kind and trustworthy and compassionate. We all need people like that in our lives whom we can trust, and who care about us, and a lucky break when the sky looks very dark. It’s about not giving up hope. I really hope you love the book!!!

Other than that, I am working on another book now, and enjoying working on it. I love to hibernate in the winter, and write, write, write, which is what I’m doing now….so I really hope you read Blue and love it!! Have a great week!! I’ll be hard at work at my typewriter, and thinking of you!!!

much love, Danielle

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