Archive for 2015

6/1/15, Rising Above the Clouds

Posted on June 1, 2015

Hi Everyone,

How are you?? All is good with you, I hope!!!

The week has been insanely busy yet again. The bats flying in the windows are not quite as large, but it’s the tennis game of life, where a problem heads at us, we hit it to the opposite side of the court, it comes back at us again, and back and forth it goes, until eventually it’s solved, but sometimes that takes time. Also, if you have a big life, with a lot of people in it, inevitably, a lot of “stuff” happens that you have to deal with every day. I wear many hats in my daily life. I’m an employer, and also an employee of sorts, since I produce work for a publishing house, several of them in many countries and they pay me, so that makes me an employee and they make the rules, as employers do. I work with and for many people, with different personalities and opinions. I am the mother of eight adults, who are wonderful people, but I worry about them at times, as mothers do, and we don’t always agree either (although they are extremely reasonable and nice people!!). But there are bound to be bumps in our lives. And then there are the people in the outer circle of one’s life who are difficult, or jealous, or not always honest, who can really make our lives miserable if they work at it. It’s a lot of balls to keep in the air. And even if you’re a Mom at home, driving car pool for three kids, and trying to get them to school on time, and their soccer games, and make sure they do their homework and are doing okay in school, you have your hands full. We all do. And there are plenty of opportunities for challenges every day. If you live alone in an apartment you haven’t left in 10 years, have one single artificial plant, and a plastic fish, your life should be pretty simple. But anything more than that and you’re going to be dealing with difficult things at times—-and also opportunities for great things. But life moves fast these days, and most of us do wear several hats and we have to switch gears constantly, as partner, parent, employee, employer, friend. Just keeping up with texts and emails takes a lot of time out of our day. And some days, I feel like I will never catch up, and probably you feel that way too. Not to mention the people who encroach on our lives, don’t wish us well, intrude on us, and really put some energy into messing up our day, and there are people like that in all our lives too. (I wish they would find something else to do!!! and stay away from me!!). » read more »

5/25/15, Memorial Day

Posted on May 25, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope you have a day off today, and are enjoying early summer activities and good pre-summer weather somewhere.

Memorial Day has several ‘layers’ to it, and meanings to many of us. On the light side, it’s the first landmark of summer, and unofficially marks the beginning of summer, even though officially it’s still several weeks away. For people with country homes, you start dragging out the outdoor furniture, getting the barbecue ready, cleaning up the damage and debris of winter, and sprucing things up for the summer (power washing, and painting things that got battered during the winter months and harsher weather). My husband and I used to work hard for all of Memorial Day weekend, doing all those things, getting our country home ready for the summer. Spring cleaning, and getting things ready for our kids. It’s a hopeful sign that summer is almost here.

It’s also a day to remember veterans, and people who have served in the Armed Forces, and those who lost their lives defending our country, and those still surviving. The two veterans I know best are a 93 year old friend who served in World War II, has fascinating history to share, and marches in a Memorial Day parade every year, and will again today. And a wonderful woman friend, who served nine years in the Navy, is a psychologist, deeply involved in the field of mental health, and a really extraordinary woman. Two VERY impressive veterans.

And in a broader sense we remember and honor our lost loved ones, or people we respect and knew. Too many come to mind this year. I got a beautiful photograph this week of Robin Williams, from his family, with a quote from “The Little Prince” and a poem by e.e.cummings. I smiled, looking at the photograph of him, and stopped to think about him. What a terrible loss it was when he died last August, and what an amazing legacy he has left us with his films. How many times he made us laugh, or brought a tear to our eye with a tender moment. The elegance of Oscar de la Renta, with so much charm, wit, brilliance, and style. The loss of so many innocent people, with the recent Charlie Hebdo attacks in France, and the German plane brought down in the Alps, which took 150 innocent people with it. It’s a lot to digest, think about, and remember. And on a more personal level, the people we knew personally and cherished, who have gone on. A little boy lost to friends recently, a week before his first birthday, born with a severe heart defect. And my own son Nick, who died at nineteen, full of talent, and charm, funny and handsome, the light and love of our lives, as he always will be.

It’s a day to remember them…to reflect on how precious life is, how lucky we were to know them, how they added to our lives, whether people we actually knew and loved, or our lives were enriched by them with the talents they contributed to the world, or if veterans who defended our country. It’s good to remember, and to honor them…and then to go on getting ready for the joys of summer, with so much to look forward to, good times ahead, and happy days. Life is so precious, and to be enjoyed to the fullest. Have a wonderful Memorial Day, whatever you’re doing today…

love, Danielle

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5/18/15, Woman In Gold

Posted on May 18, 2015

Hi Everyone,

How are you?? All is good with you, I hope!!!

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day with my kids a week ago, and felt very spoiled. Brunch at home, and dinner out with some of them, and one flew in specially, and I had had a lovely time in New York before that with two of my girls. We have passed the stage of macaroni necklaces and Kleenex boxes decorated with flowers and beads (which I loved and kept them all!!), and I always miss that and remember it fondly, but sometimes it’s nice having grown up kids that you can really spend time with and enjoy. So I had a great one, which I really appreciated. My kids saw to it that I had a great time and was spoiled!!! And felt very loved, just as I love them.

I don’t very often get a chance to go to movies, since I usually work at night, but I had finished a big block of work this week, and decided to treat myself to a little time off, and on the spur of the moment went to a late movie when I finished work. I had heard the name of the movie, but didn’t know much about it, “Woman in Gold”, with Helen Mirren and Ryan Reynolds. It’s a true story about an Austrian woman, from a previously wealthy Jewish family in Vienna, before the war, that lost everything they had to the Nazis. They had a beautiful home in Vienna, and collected spectacular, famous and very valuable works of art. They had collected the work of Gustav Klimt, whose paintings I have always loved. They are mostly gold, typical of the 1930’s, with beautiful women in them. One of my favorite ones is called “The Kiss”. And in fact, I’ve used one of the Klimt paintings as art work on a book cover, when it seemed appropriate. And in the case of the woman the movie is about, one of Klimt’s most famous paintings of a beautiful woman was a portrait of her aunt. the Kiss
» read more »

5/11/15, Lovable

Posted on May 11, 2015

Hi Everyone,

You know my love for and fascination with words. The words ‘love’ and ‘hope’ always resonate for me, and for most of us. But ‘lovable’ is a word I discovered later in life, and never realized the importance of it for a long time. We talk about being loved (by someone), or loving someone or something. We LOVE ice cream, chocolate, sunny days, vacations, (shoes!!), our friends, our children, and hopefully the person we are married to or dating. We tell people how LOVED they are. We talk about certain people being very LOVING. But we seldom talk about, or think about being LOVABLE. And that’s a real stumbling block for some. We want to be loved, who doesn’t—–but do we believe, truly believe, in the depths of our gut, that we are lovable? Do we believe that we are lovable, and worthy of being loved? We focus on our flaws, and sometimes our loved ones are quick to remind us what they are, we don’t do this or that right, we forget to take out the garbage, lock the front door, or walk the dog. We make a mess here and there. Some of us come from deeply critical families, whose favorite sport is tearing others apart, or comparing us unfavorably to others. Unhappy mates tell us everything that’s wrong with us, and blame us for what goes wrong in a relationship. We don’t do as well as we plan to in life, didn’t get the promotion we want, or don’t feel we are paid enough (and make less money than our sister, husband/wife, best friend or neighbour). We haven’t had a date in 6 months or a year, or our boyfriend/girlfriend dumped us, or we got divorced. And what that all adds up to is that somewhere in our heart of hearts, we feel unlovable: undeserving of the love we want and hope for and need to thrive. We secretly believe we are second rate, or tenth rate, or no rate, and everyone else seems lovable, but us. » read more »

5/4/15, “The Sun Will Shine Through Rain” (Nick Traina)

Posted on May 4, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I’m sorry I was a no show last week, I was busy writing, and am very happy with what I’ve been working on, and I hope you will be too. Writing is often where I take refuge from real life, and my own problems, it’s a world where I am comfortable, feel at ease, know how to solve the problems in the story, and sometimes when the writing soars, it is pure joy. After doing it for a long time, I still thoroughly enjoy what I do, even though it’s hard work and challenging at times, and even exhausting when I work 20 hour stretches on my old typewriter. Sometimes it’s almost like flying, as you rise above the clouds, and see things more clearly, about life, and intricate situations. And I always fall in love with the characters in the book, and they become real to me, just as they do to you. It’s probably because they do seem real to me that you feel that way too when you read the books. The characters I write about are always fictional, because it would be too limiting to base them on real people. So I’ve been having a great time writing, and I hope you like the book when you read it. (I never tell the story or the title beforehand. It’s more fun to keep it a surprise!! But I think you will love this one, as I do!!) » read more »

4/27/15, Writing…

Posted on April 27, 2015

Hi Everyone!

I’m going to take a week off from posting my blog, since i’m really busy writing at the moment. Have a great week!

love,
Danielle

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4/20/15, Your Question

Posted on April 20, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is well with you. I was very, very touched and pleased that you all liked my blog about the Shabbat Dinner, and were very interested in the fantastic red headed writer/film maker I mentioned, super active, still working hard, who just celebrated her 87th birthday. So I wanted to write to you to give you the info. Many of you wanted to read her book. She is the lady I mentioned who was deported at 14 or 15, and survived 4 concentration camps during World War II.

Her name is Marcelline Loridan-Ivens, and the book is called, in French, “Et tu n’es pas revenu”, which means “And you didn’t come back”. (The publisher is ‘Grasset’, a French publishing house). I don’t know if the book has been translated into English or not, but I imagine you could find out on the Internet. The title and the book really, refer to her father. She was caught and deported with him. They were separated in the camps they were in (in different buildings, but the same camps), but they managed to see each other a few times, but he didn’t survive the camps and was killed there. And she survived and went home to Paris when the camps were liberated at the end of the war. The book is incredibly poignant and touching, and clearly she and the whole family were deeply marked by her father’s not surviving. She talks about a letter her father wrote to her and managed to get to her in the camp. The deprivation, and the anguish, and the horrors of the camps come through her words so powerfully, when she speaks and when she writes. It’s quite a short book, but moved me tremendously. She goes right to the heart of the feelings and the experience. She’s a strong woman and a survivor, despite her tiny size. When she was deported, her mother and the two younger children escaped and were hidden by people for the rest of the war, and her two older siblings joined the Resistance and survived the war. (The Resistance were the brave people who did everything they could to sabotage the Germans while they occupied France). So out of 5 children, only she and her father were caught and deported to the concentration camps. And yet she survived it. She really is a monument to the strength of the human spirit. And the book is powerful and wonderful. I hope you can find it in a language you speak. It is a wonderful book!!!

Some of you were confused too by my saying I hadn’t been to a Shabbat dinner before, but ‘have been 3 or 4 times. When I went to the first Shabbat Dinner I was invited to, I had never been before. It was a Chanukah Dinner. Since then, the same friends have invited me 2 or 3 more times. I love it, and am always thrilled to go.

I hope you can find Marcelline’s book. I don’t usually answer questions in the blog, because there are so many of them. But so many of you asked about this lady, and her book, I really wanted you to know the information. Take care, and have a great week!!

love, Danielle

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4/13/15, Hope

Posted on April 13, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a good week last week. Mine was a little scrambled, with cancelled plans, sick kids, and a lot of work to do. The usual stuff of life that we all deal with every day. No one is exempt from petty aggravations, changes of plans, unexpected bills, flat tires and the things that annoy us all, not to mention the big things that shake us up more severely.

I’m working on a book, so I was going to keep it short here, and talk about The Big Event in our family: the opening of baseball season!! I love going to baseball games with my youngest son, who is an ardent fan. I have a collection of ‘acceptable’ outfits to support the Giants (who do great even without my support!!), orange loafers, orange and black shoes, a black and orange ‘fan’ jacket, orange sweaters so I don’t freeze when I go to the games. I love going to baseball games with my son (and all the junk I get to eat). So I’m excited that the season is starting. There is always something so wonderful and happy and patriotic about those games. It’s good All American fun!!! So, Go Giants!! Let’s hope they have a great season ahead of them!!! With another shot at the World Series at the end of it!!! » read more »

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4/6/15, Fascinating Dinner

Posted on April 6, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I hope that you’re all doing okay, and that all is well with you.

I had a truly fascinating evening recently, and wanted to share it with you. I was invited to a Shabbat Dinner, (a Sabbath dinner) by friends in Paris. They introduced me to their Sabbath dinners a few years ago, and they give them almost every Friday. I’d never been to one before and didn’t know what to expect the first time, and didn’t think much about it before I went. What I found was a really interesting group of people, of all ages, and the atmosphere was lively, warm, enthusiastic, relaxed, congenial. It was a gathering of all ages, many religions, all walks of life. The friends that do these evenings are a lawyer (she), a cardiologist and researcher (he), and they had friends from their own professions, other lines of work, their children, their children’s friends, their friends’ children. The evening began on a religious note as they lit the candles, said a prayer, chanted a prayer, broke bread and sipped wine (no different from our Christian traditions), and then everyone dug into delicious food and engaged in long, interesting conversations about politics, literature, art, film making, and a million subjects. It is a treat to be invited to their Shabbat dinners, and I look forward to it, every time. I’ve been to 3 or 4 of them now, and it’s a privilege to be invited, and I am always intrigued to see who will be there from their grab bag of friends, colleagues, and young people. And the most recent dinner of theirs that I went to was a knock out, and incredibly eclectic. I love the way they gather people around them, regardless of religion, and one feels warmly welcomed, whatever one’s traditions. (What a contrast to the Catholic traditions I grew up with, with quiet Friday night dinners, and always a meal of fish which I hated, although I loved my religion. But I hated the fish, always felt sick from it, and years later, discovered I was allergic to it). At my friends’ Shabbat dinners, the food is plentiful and varied, Italian, Thai, exotic, hearty, roast beef, many choices, and a huge array of delicious, irresistible, and fattening desserts!!! Even the food is joyful at their table, and everything seems happy. To some degree, although I’ve never been to a Shabbat dinner, other than theirs, I think the evening and the combination of people, interesting mix, and long hours of conversation are more likely to happen in France than in the States. The only thing all the guests have in common at their dinners is that everyone is French, probably not by intention, it just happens that way.

The other thing that always strikes me at their dinners is how seriously educated their guests are, and the variety of jobs they have. My own friends seem to be in business, some in the arts, doctors, lawyers, and have pretty human scale jobs. But their friends are in fields that I never even think of. This time I sat between a nuclear scientist and researcher, whose intellectual capacity is out in the stratosphere somewhere compared to mine, although he was very nice, and he’s married to a school teacher. On my other side was a man who sells gold, the man next to him is the head of all cultural radio in France, there were a film maker, a screen writer, a politician of some kind, several lawyers, the age range was from 2 weeks of age (the hosts just had a baby, their 4th child) to 87 years old, with a group of young people at the far end from 17 to 22, two of them law students (the hosts’ older children). Two birthdays were celebrated, 17 and 87. And all the ages and professions and groups were mixed, and it struck me as I looked down the table of 14 or 16 people, that there were two Catholics I knew of including me, two Muslims, and most of the others were Jewish. We all stood respectfully for the lighting of the candles and chanted prayers, as the baby passed from one set of arms to another, amidst the lively discussions around the table, and as always, the table was crowded with platters of delicious food, Mediterranean, Italian, Greek, roast beef and potatoes. There is something for everyone at their table in terms of religions, personalities, interests, careers, and even food (and way too many delicious cakes, and I tried at least three of them).

The star of the show for me was a tiny woman (I’m 5 feet 1, and she was several inches shorter than I), with bright red hair, a lively personality, she strode into the room looking lively and attractive, bursting with energy, and I guessed her to be about 70, and discovered when we celebrated her birthday later that she was 87, that day. She is a documentary film maker, still busy in her career, just released a new movie, and published a new book, and I found her instantly fascinating as I listened to her at dinner. She was as sharp as a tack, and one of the livelier participants at the table, she had style and energy and a magnetic personality. And listening to her, I discovered that she survived 4 of the worst concentration camps during the war, is a well-known personality, and has made some important documentary films, and was married to a film maker. She was mesmerizing as she talked, and showed us the number tattooed on her arm at one point. She spoke without hesitation or artifice, there was nothing arrogant about her, and listening to her life experiences, especially during the war, was riveting. I have no idea how she survived what she did, and remained whole, alive, full of energy and life. Her family had been decimated by the camps and the war years. Our hostess gave all of us her latest book, which I read the next day, in awe of what she survived in the camps, and how she survived it and demonstrated the strength of the human spirit then and throughout her life. Her book was incredibly touching and poignant, and I was filled with admiration for this woman whom time has not touched, but has been through so much in one lifetime. I felt truly honored to meet her and talk to her.

The dinner ended long after one o*clock, and as always was warm, fascinating, touching. I will long remember the tiny red haired, ageless, timeless woman, so full of life and talent, with a spirit that nothing has destroyed. And once again, I went home feeling so lucky to be included in such a special evening, and to meet so many talented, bright people I would never have met otherwise. And then I went back to my own real life, filled with more ordinary pursuits, and less unusual people. What a blessing to share an evening like that, and come home richer for it. And I will be forever haunted by the film maker’s book about her experiences. I felt humbled by it, and all of those around me. It was, once again, an amazing evening, which I won’t forget. It was a rare night, filled with special people of varied and extraordinary talents. And I felt so lucky to be a part of it……

have a great week!! love, Danielle

4/2/15, Rebirth

Posted on April 2, 2015

Hi Everyone,

After recent events and what appears to be a plane crash that was a suicide mission, it seems more important than ever to keep our thoughts clear, especially faced with events that are so hard to fathom. We have had many of them recently. Acts of terrorism seen on television with a human being burned alive as a message to the world, equally distressing acts of terrorism in Paris with people in a grocery store taken hostage and some killed, and now what appeared to be a healthy apparently normal young person allegedly turning a normal flight into a suicide mission, taking 150 innocents with him. The common thread here is that innocent people became victims and lost their lives while pursuing ordinary activities, buying bread, or taking a short flight in the course of a school trip, or on vacation. We are all the innocent victims of these acts, whatever the reasons for them, political or not. We somehow seem to get caught in the crossfire, or the acts of troubled minds, and our lives are changed forever. Even if we are in the outer circle of these acts, they shake our faith, our belief system, they engender fear as soon as we or our loved ones leave home. We worry about each other and ourselves, and a darkness takes hold of world thought, our trust in our fellow man is shaken, and the forces of evil appear to win another round. Most of us, wherever we live, whatever we do for a living, pursue ordinary lives, worry about our kids, groan at our taxes or when our car breaks down, we pay our bills, scold our kids, walk our dogs, buy our groceries, and do our laundry. We dont expect tragedy to strike us or those standing next to us in the course of our daily lives. We are profoundly shocked by the acts we read about, and disheartened. We dont feel as safe as we used to. We are all touched by it. We are in just as much danger in the parking lot of our local supermarket if someone goes nuts, as we are getting on a plane to someplace exotic. These random acts affect us all. We are linked by a bond of humanity that has been severely disrupted in recent months. These are not easy times to live in. And while our countries and leaders fight their battles, we are just trying to lead good, ordinary lives, and take care of our loved ones.

More than ever, with the reports we see now, and given the people who run amok on a grand or small scale, whatever the reasons, we need to focus on the things that keep us strong, and allow us to believe in the good things in life. And whatever one’s religion, the degree of one’s faith or none at all, the message that has always meant the most to me is that of “Resurrection” at this time of year. Much of the focus in Christian beliefs is on ‘crucifixion’ at this time of year, on unmerited punishment, and the pains that exist in all of our lives. The losses, the sorrows, the griefs, the things we do not always understand which befall us, and happen to us all. People we love die, people get sick, we lose jobs, money, houses, safety, security, we get divorced, mugged on the street, something happens to one of our kids, small griefs and large ones. It happens to us all, no one is exempt from the pains in life, though some people are luckier than others. But sadness hits us all at some point. But more important than the bad things is how we deal with them, how we get up again after we get knocked down, how we believe in people again, and ourselves, how we rise from the ashes of the flash fires in our lives. Resurrection. In the Christian faith, this week are the darkest days of the year, which honor the crucifixion of Christ on Good Friday. I have always liked crosses, but not crucifixes, which seems to put the emphasis on the wrong thing, to me. What seems most important is the notion of resurrection, rebirth, starting over, having the guts to get up and move forward again. Easter Sunday is the celebration of the resurrection, that rebirth, the power of life, instead of the message of death. Now to me, that positive message of rebirth seems something truly worth celebrating, whatever your beliefs. It is the message of not just survival, but of strength. We have all had bad things happen to us. The key, the most vital part is getting up again when you’ve been knocked down. I have a little saying on my office wall that says “Bounce Back”, just those two words to remind me, when I am in the pit of feeling sorry for myself, to get up and get going again. We HAVE to. No matter how hard, or how impossible it seems at times. We MUST continue, no matter what we see on the news, or what friend disappoints us, or what loved one hurts our feelings, or robs us of peace or good feelings. We cant let the bad guys win. We just cant. We cant afford to, or it pulls our own lives down. However we get there, with or without religious beliefs, we have to find rebirth in our own lives, even after reading about something like the plane that was brought down on a suicide mission, even when things are tough in our own lives. We have to bounce back. That is what makes the notion of resurrection so important. It’s a far bigger message than any other to me. I love all the warmth and coziness and shared joy and fun of Christmas, but the really big message, to me anyway, is the one of resurrection, of rebirth, of starting over, no matter how tough life or the world seems at the moment, or what we’ve been through. And the darker the world seems, the more important that message of rebirth is.

My wish for you, for myself, for each and all of us, and my prayer, is that you find that moment of rebirth, the strength to go on, or just stand up, that we continue to believe in the light and not the darkness. In some big or small way, may you find a moment of rebirth. We all need that. It is the very essence of hope.

One of my favorite sayings is what Anne Frank said, the young girl who was hidden with her family during the war, and eventually died in a concentration camp with them. She was 15 years old, and said “In spite of everything, I still believe that people are truly good at heart”. It sounds naive, we see and hear and know of so much evidence to the contrary. I cling to those words as a message of hope for us all.

May you have a moment of rebirth, of light shining into your heart and life, despite the darkness we hear and read about every day. Resurrection. Rebirth. The world needs your light to counter its darkness. May we all shine brightly together, no matter what we see and hear around us.

with all my love, Danielle

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